Title: A Cattywampus Day
Tags: Humor, Blessings
Blog Entry: Have you ever had a day where the same type of thing kept happening over and over all day long? I was brought up to believe that was a bone-fided thing that happens when God is trying to bring you a blessing but keeps getting sidetracked. Sunday, was a Cattywampus Day for me. I am normally a very calm individual. I pray. I go to church. I am good to others. I do not gallivant around. I do not try to bamboozle anyone. I don't lollygag unless someone is looking. I want to make sure they know I am earning my social security. I rarely make a big hullabaloo over anything. Egads, I am no numb-skull. By noon I was ready to scream... Oh, that is right... I did scream. It really started Friday night. My tummy felt nauseous. I took the pink stuff and that threw everything into motion. I could not keep anything down. I tossed my cookies all night. I did not have any 7UP and saltines (like they gave me once in the hospital) or anything else to stop the rigmarole my tummy was going through. Things finally calmed down when I was empty, and I do mean empty. I had decided I just needed to rest. I was too tired to decide what was wrong or what to worry about. Not much changed until Sunday morning when my Cattywampus day started. I woke up feeling wonderful. I felt weak but better. I got up, made my bed, and strolled through the laundry room, checked on Oscar and Grammy, (my two pet squirrels), and went out the back door. I made a note that Oscar was missing but felt sure I would spot him playing in the trees. I looked and looked. No Oscar. I watched as Bella, one of my dogs, played willy-nilly among the leaves. A leaf fell from one of the trees. She barked at it. I clapped my hands. She barked some more. I looked around for Sweet Pea and could not find her. I called and called. No Sweet Pea. I glanced at the big tree whose trunk was on the property behind mine. It had fallen just enough to bend the top of my fence down about eighteen inches. Sweet Pea must have gotten out. She is very old. I tried to put a call into the police chief but his message thing said his messages were full and for me to call back. Now, my worry was beginning to mount. No Sweet Pea and No Oscar. I had flashbacks of when the other big trees tore up a major part of the back fence and Precious got out. She was a hundred and twenty-five-pound pit bulldog. Losing her broke my heart. I started crying thinking about Sweet Pea being out, maybe lost. Oscar many times road on her back. I wondered if they were together. The thought of losing them was crushing. It was like I was losing things. Those I loved were being taken away. I went back into the house and laid on the bed. I don't remember falling asleep but I guess I did. When I woke up the Cattywampus had taken a turn into one "Oh MY God" after another. I woke up with leaves all over the bed and covering me. I could tell from Bella's (who by the way was another gift from the chief) wagging tail. I think she used must have been a cow dog. She really does moo. She does long, slow moos and stretches her neck out when she does it. Just like a cow does. She is very comical. She had remembered me clapping because she barked at the falling leaf. Sweet Pea and Oscar were back but would not let me roll over to sit up. I finally had to move the covers, thus moving them as well, to sit upright. I looked down. It seems I had laid a couple of eggs while I was asleep as well. The pictures of the snake eggs found earlier this year came to mind but these were not snake eggs. I had no idea at first what they were. I knew I had seen them before. It was not a bird. It suddenly dawned on me what I had. Two tortoise eggs. They must have been laid under the house. I bet that is where Sweet Pea and Oscar had been when I called them. Now, I had to get busy. I found a shipping box and partially filled it with topsoil. I placed the eggs about halfway down and covered them with the soil. I then covered that with dried leaves. I put the whole thing on the very top shelf of my closet. I put a small heating bulb in my desk lamp to keep the nest warm. I did all this with an audience. Oscar kept throwing his arms up as if to say, "Well, is that all we get?" Sweet Pea, was pouting because she did not get to kiss the eggs. Bella was mooing about it. She never even got a good look. I was feeling very tired at this point. I was still not hungry but at least nausea had stopped. I decided I would give my system a chance to calm down before testing it. I laid down for another nap. I think naps are one of the best things about retirement. You can take one any time you want. Anyway, I laid back down and fell asleep. I don't know how long I was down but I suddenly remembered the fence. I jerked myself awake. I rushed to the back yard and sure enough, now all my fur babies were gone. I called and called. I walked and walked around the block and could not find them. I was frantic. I was crying. I shouted at the sky. "NO, NO, This is not right." I suddenly looked up. It was the chief. He had not gotten any messages. He came to tell me that Sweet Pea had interrupted a preliminary meeting of the city council. "We had seen the damage the tree had done to your fence. It took about fifteen minutes to take up a collection. One of the young guys doing community service needs a project. I have given him your fence to fix. He owns a fence company. The city will pick up the tab for materials. I don't think he will try to drink and drive again. He is a good kid, he has gotten over his 21st birthday celebration now. The young man was going to balk at first until he saw Sweet Pea standing there barking at me with two squirrels on her back. Bella was sitting right beside her. I will help you get them inside while the kid fixes your fence. He will trim that tree too." I was so full of gratitude, again, I started to cry. I felt so overwhelmed. The rest of the afternoon had been kind of quiet. The fence got fixed, the tree got trimmed. All my babies were home safe. When the chief came by to check on his community service guy all was complete. Suddenly, Oscar started squealing. I could not find him. The chief followed the sound. He was hanging on the backside at the top of the closet door. The chief is very tall. He walked over and pointed to his shoulder. Oscar hopped down. Then just as quickly jumped to the shelf in the closet. Yes, yes. We had two baby tortoises coming out of their shells. The chief just laughed. "Jane, your zoo is growing. I can't do a thing about it. You don't have more than three dogs. You don't have a caged raccoon or rattlesnake. I know about Oscar. There is nothing you can do but love them. There is nothing I can do but bring you the mustard greens you need to get these little fellas through the winter." Oscar watched me. I very gently touched the back of their shells. They closed their eyes. I told the chief that if he could go on and get the mustard greens and some fresh veggies for me then I would be fine. He ran to the store for me and brought everything back. He said he remembered how last spring I had helped the community with food when they had all the newcomers and the stories to calm the frightened children. The kids still talk about the story lady. I did not think about it much at the time. I just wanted to help. I felt very appreciated. After everyone was gone I gently fed my two new babies. Oscar gently stroked their backs. Bella did her moo, moo, moo. Grammy just watched in fascination. Sweet Pea gave one kiss that sent them flying out of the box and onto the floor. Grammy and Oscar scampered over and gently picked them up. I lowered the box, they put them back in. Sweet Pea lowered her head in shame. The two tortoises are back in the box on the top shelf, the closet door is closed, I am back in bed. I just woke up from a short nap. The bed is covered in leaves. I started laughing... I had laid another egg. It does not make any difference what blessing you have coming your way. Somehow, you will get it, even if it takes a Cattywumpus Day to do it. I had started my day thinking the worst. I returned to that feeling several times during the day. I would not have had time for such a day if I were not retired. I live alone. I was feeling somewhat vulnerable because I had been sick. I prayed for my stomach to settle down... When I got quiet. When I put my finger on my lips, closed my eyes, and listened I knew what to do. I remembered; not to pray for something specific but to pray to put me in alignment with his plan. Then it could unfold. I had learned long ago when I was going through the depression that comes with retirement that praying for something specific and then telling God how to go about it; would not get the desired response. All prayers are answered. Sometimes the answer is, "No.". When we relax and allow ourselves to be put in alignment the plan unfolds on time, with all that is needed to see it through, and in the exact time needed. When you find yourself in the middle of a cattywampus day. Stop. Be quiet. And just listen. Don't forget to breathe. Screaming is not necessary but remembering the thank you afterward is important.
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