Today is the 16th of October, the day on which, last year, my whole life underwent a massive change, when my beloved husband Lyn died. My first year of widowhood is now behind me, and the future stretches uncharted before me.
At first, I thought that talking to Lyn was a problem that I needed to overcome. Logic told me that since Lyn was no longer alive, there was no point in talking to him. Then I found out that other people do the same thing, and I was not alone and neither was I mental. There is a difference between what the facts are and what we would like the facts to be. Dead people do not come back just because we wish they were still here. I know from other deaths in my family, that Lyn will not come back.
I am a happy person, with a wealth of happy memories, and since I can no longer find happiness with my husband, I have spent the last year exploring new horizons and finding ways of coping with the things I can't do for myself. With the help of family and friends, I have made a reasonably successful job of managing an unwanted situation, the worst aspect of which is loneliness.
The other challenging aspect of being a widow is having to acquire some degree of independence, which, for me, was previously not a requirement. Well, there's nothing to beat being dropped in at the deep end to prove to yourself that you have what it takes to keep on going in the absence of the cushy lifestyle you used to enjoy. Metaphorically speaking, if I see a rocky road, I shift the rocks. If they are immovable, I take another route.
My greatest asset in the search for independence is my mobility scooter, Runabout, which enables me to bring my own shopping home.
My greatest assistance in seeking a new lifestyle has come from my family and one very special friend. These are people who have gone out of their way to ensure that I have love, understanding, and everything I need, and can do all that things that living alone involves.
I have also had the gift of my NOTH membership, with all the lovely people who have extended the hand of friendship and been there for me during a very challenging year.
Thank you to all of my online friends, without you where would I be.