Thanks to TC and EB I know a little more these days. Hope this brings a smile when things get frustrating.
ODE TO THE TECHNO-TURKEY
GET A COMPUTER, I HAD HEARD THEM SAY
ALL YOU WANT AND THEY'RE CHILD'S PLAY
SO WITH A RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD
MEGA BUCKS I WENT OUT AND SHED
THE MAN PUT IT TOGETHER, SAYING THERE YOU GO
YOU'LL GET THE HANG OF IT BEFORE YOU KNOW
HE LEFT ME A VIDEO AND A BOOK TO READ
THEY'LL SHOW YOU ALL THAT YOU NEED
THE VIDEO I WATCHED, AND THOUGHT I SAW
THEN FOR HOURS OVER THE BOOK DID I PORE
THERE'S NOTHING TO IT, THE MAN HAD SAID
PERHAPS I'VE GOT SOMETHING LOOSE IN ME 'EAD
ALONG WITH THIS SO CALLED USER FRIENDLY DEVICE
CAME ROMS AND RAMS AND EVEN A MICE
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LURK THERE OUT OF SIGHT
JUST WAITING TO GIVE ME A KILLER BYTE
GOING TO BED, RACKED WITH FATIGUE
THE KIDS TODAY SURE PLAY IN A DIFFERENT LEAGUE
AS DAYS WENT BY AND I BEGAN TO GET TO GRIPS
I COULD NOW TELL PENTIUM FROM OVEN CHIPS
BY TRIAL AND ERROR IT BEGAN TO MAKE SENSE
MAYBE I REALLY WASN'T ALL THAT DENSE
THEN JUST AS I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING AHEAD
AFTER HAVING HALF OF A LIBRARY READ
I KEPT HEARING THE INTERNET WAS THE PLACE TO BE
SO WITH A FREE TRIAL I THOUGHT I'D GO HAVE A LOOK-SEE
NOW B.T ARE RUBBING THEIR HANDS WITH GLEE
COS UNLIKE THE TRIAL, THE PHONE CALLS AIN'T FREE
E-MAILS, SUPPOSED TO BE EASY TO RECEIVE AND SEND
WERE BEGINNING TO DRIVE ME ROUND THE BEND
AT TIMES AFTER COMING AWFULLY CLOSE TO CRYING
I MANAGED AFTER ONLY SIX DAYS OF TRYING
THEN ENTERING IN TO THE WEB OF WONDER
ALL OF MANS KNOWLEDGE, THERE TO PLUNDER
MY BUILT IN MODEM WAS EVER SO SLOW
SO I INVESTED IN A NEW FAST ONE, DON'T YOU KNOW?
THE BLURB SAID IT WAS SO EASY TO INSTALL
THE darn THING'S NOW DRIVING ME UP THE WALL
FIVE TIMES I'VE TRIED AND STILL IT DON'T WORK
ONCE AGAIN, I'M LEFT FEELING A BIT OF A BERK
BUT AS I CONTINUE TO STRIVE AND OFT TIMES CUSS
WILL I EVER MANAGE TO CATCH UP WITH THE HI-TECH BUS
OR WILL THIS THUNDER TURKEY FINALLY BLOW HIS MIND
AS THIS KIDS STUFF GETS EVER MORE REFINED
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Jayseahawk '97