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I Don't Want To Go To Heaven
Posted On 02/11/2020 01:44:21 by texasjane

Going with my grandmother to the beauty salon was always an adventure. The other ladies there always knew what everyone else was doing and what they were supposed to be doing. One particular day stands out in my memories.

We were all greeted warmly by the other ladies. Some were under dryers, some still in chairs, and still some waiting. My sister and I settled in next to Gussy, Aunt Lilly, and Grandmother in chairs along the wall. Gussy had handed my sister a magazine to look at the pictures and I held the one she gave me. I was the listener. I loved listening to the "good friends" bicker back and forth.

Someone made the remark, "You only come here for the gossip. You don't have a hair out of place." I want to make one statement at this point.

My grandmother was a 4'11" Irish lady who was buried with red hair. A lot of her friends had white hair, blue hair, and even gray hair. Not my grandmother... she says she was born with red hair and that was the way the good lord was going to get her back. Now, this presented a problem for her at least once a month when her white roots grew out. The real reason for the trip to the salon.

Grandmother's sister named Lily who (at the age of 90) still wore a bustle. She says she never did have much of a bottom so, the bustle helped. Needless to say Grandmother, the youngest of eleven children, the grand daughter of the first preacher in Petersville (later renamed Dallas), came from a long line of outspoken frontier women. Part of the routine for our girl's day outings was for Gussy to empty the bullets out of Lily's pearl handled revolver she kept tucked in her garter. Lily never knew she did not have a loaded gun.

Grandmother did not drive and neither did Lily. Gussy, Lily's daughter, always drove on our girl's day outings. Lilly came to her sister's defense, "She comes for me deary. I need the beauty work. After all I have a boy friend. You don't do you? So, you just leave my baby sister alone." The other lady felt justly chastised. [Just a little side note Aunt Lily outlived several boy friends and had her last affair when she was 103.] We won't go into that story here.

One of the ladies under the dryer was telling everyone about an evangelist who was making the rounds in our area. She talked about how handsome he was and how excited he got when he spoke. Part of the discussion had drifted over recipes, grand children, and of course how cute my sister and I were. The whole shop was just humming along.

The door burst open and a very excited, good looking young man came busting through the door. He had a bible in his hand and a huge smile on his face. He darted around quoting scripture and kissing hands. He winked at a couple of the ladies as he told them about how wonderful heaven was. He was almost shouting with joy.

He had everyone's attention. He went into a sermon right there on the spot. He had a funny collar on but had taken a hat and turned it upside down as he started around the room. As he ended his little speech he took the hand and shouted asking each of the lady individually, "Do you want to go to heaven?" Each one nodded their head and grinned back at him. He would kiss their hand..they would put something in the hat and he would go to the next one.

When he asked my grandmother she replied, "No." The whole room went silent. You could have heard a pin drop. The man caught his breath as if he had never heard the word, "No." before that minute. He asked her again, "Don't you want to go to heaven?" Grandmother repeated herself, "No."

Lily spoke up, "Now," Lily shook her head at grandmother, "I don't know why she is saying that sir, but she has the right to say it." She pointed her finger at the man and then shook it at grandmother as if to scold her a bit.

The man was stunned. Everyone was staring at my grandmother. He shrugged his shoulders, clutched his bible to his chest and asked, "Why?"

Grandmother looked him straight in the eye. She spoke loud enough for all to hear. "You sound like you have just gotten back. I want to go when I die, but you sound like you are taking up another load right this minute. I repeat sir; No, not now."

Everyone sighed and laughed. Grandmother winked at me. I knew she hated it when people yelled at her and told her what to do. I knew the man was in for a treat but did not know what to expect. We giggled all the way home. We always giggled all the way home. I just loved our girl's day outings.

Tags: Memories Grandmothers LIfe


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02/12/2020 12:39:48

Your grandmother was a 'character'... ! I don't remember that my mother ever went to a 'beauty parlor'! Her hair was always neat and trimmed, particularly on the weekend. One had to look their best when attending 'church'! She would set her hair in 'pincurls' (do you know what that is?) and would wrap my longer hair in 'rags' to set my hair in 'ringlets'. On school days, my hair would be braided with a hand-tied bow on the end of each one. I would still look 'half-decent' all day, even when playing outside at recess time. 

Thanks for your blogs... great memories!

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