Common sense would tell you that if you go to the hospital to set a broken leg that the leg would be set and you would then be sent home. Right? Nah, not these days. You gotta wear a mask first. Then you gotta know who the president is, the day of the week, your birthday, the state you are in, and how many fingers someone is holding up. After arriving at the hospital I volunteered the information that I had broken my leg. The medical nurse thinks she is being cleaver. "Now, you don't have an x-ray machine at home. Let's see what the doctor says."
"No, but I heard it snap when the chair fell on it." She looked at me as if I had just taken my teeth out and stuck my tongue out at her... No. Sorry, I did that in my head. She glances back at me as I take both hands and lift my leg up on the exam table where I am sitting. Leaving it dangling was beginning to be very painful. The leg had swollen to about 3 times it normal size. She jumps back and makes a profound remark.
"That looks bad. Do you know who the president is? What day of the week do you think it is? Let's get your blood pressure and get some blood."
"For a broken leg?"
"We have to test everyone, especially older people. You know for the virus."
"I understand. What has that got to do with me answering your other questions?"
"Just checking for any mental limitations. After all, you do have a pet squirrel. You admitted that. He attacked the emergency people."
"He did not. Oscar just wanted to be with me. He never attacked anyone. He may chat at them but never attack."
"Don't get upset... You know squirrels have rabies and carry other diseases. It can be dangerous having a rodent in the house."
"If you came to see me dear, you would be the only rodent in the house." She suddenly realized what I had said. Needless to say, my blood pressure went up. They tested my blood... I am fine. No virus. No infections. Finally the doctor arrives. I tell him I have a broken leg. He shakes his head in agreement.
"Nurse, please have Jane's leg x-rayed and let's get a picture of her right hip as well. Jane you did say you fell hard on your right side?"
"Yes, it still hurts. I have hip implants."
"I just want to examine the bones around the joint. I will be back when you come back from x-ray." He bows to me and gived me a very sweet smile. I decided I like my doctor. He was very calming.
I get through x-ray, diagnosis... broken leg and a hairline fracture in the bone around my hip implant. I get a cast on my leg and a brace on my back. My blood pressure is off the scale. They decided to keep me. I get a bed. I go to get the remote control and the monster nurse comes in and takes it out of my hand. "Your blood pressure is up, you need to sit quite and rest. You do not need to watch TV."
"Could you help me get into the bathroom. This leg is heavy. This brace makes it hard for me to maneuver. "You need to do it yourself. What happens if I am not here?"
"I push the button and get help."
"No, you need to do it yourself." She was not going to help me go to the bathroom. I can't believe she was so mean. I had decided I had been a brat longer than she had. I have stated before. I look like a nice old lady... but I am not. She actually left. In my head I said, "Good."
I struggled but went to the bathroom. On my way back to the bed, I pulled my self over to where the remote was. I pulled myself back over to the side of the bed. Then I waited. I pushed the button and asked if they could tell me when my doctor was going to be back. I was assured he would be there in about ten minutes. I waited for five minutes. Then I slowly lowered myself to the floor, stretch out the leg with the cast on it, and hit my head just enough on the floor to make it red and then pinched the skin real hard, closed my eyes and waited.
The doctor enters my room. "Oh, Jane, what happened? Why are you are the floor? He starts trying to lift me up. I started crying (it was easy because the pain was real). "Let's get you back in bed. Here let me get the remote for you. You poor lady. I am so sorry. Are you hurting?"
"I tried to get the nurse to help me to the bathroom and she refused. The cast is too heavy for me to maneuver my leg. She took the remote away because the TV would run my blood pressure up. I guess she had my best interest at heart."
"Well, we can take care of that." He calls the nurse in and in front of me tells her to put a catheter in so I don't have to get up and down on a broken leg and hip to go to the bathroom. They also gave me some pain medicine. "Now, if you want I can put on her chart that it is okay for her to have the remote. It has nothing to do with her blood pressure." He then went into the condition in which he had found me and told them to put some monitors on me because my heart rate had also increased. I don't ever want to come in and find an injured patient laying on the floor. "She will be with us over night." This is one I did not expect. But could not stop at this point.
She looks at me and I smiled sweetly. I thought to myself, like grandmother said, "If you can't be good at least be good at it." She turned red in the face. "Yes, doctor, I will make sure she is taken care of."
As she was taking care of me I again in a very sweet voice told her she was all wrong about squirrels. I told her a little about how Oscar had become a pet after Ashley passed. I told her about how he had saved me from a burglar by telling the police where he had me tied up. I told her about some of the fun things he had done. She became a little less hostile about squirrels. I told her about how he helped us rescue the raccoons that had moved into the vacant houses. She had to leave for a while but the monster in her was on the run. I just knew it. She promised to return soon.
I had four meals in this place. They must have a special on green jello. I have even had it for breakfast. Yikes! I keep asking for red jello..my favorite jello. I even filled out the little menu form and said red jello. I got green. Then I sent the nurse to find out if the guy making up the trays was color blind. Then I asked for green jello... I got red. I have learned a lot in almost seven decades. I bet no one else ever figured out he was color blind.
My house sitter brought me my mail. It included a wonderful gift of fudge. I hid it but how delighted I was. It was so good. Four different kinds, two dark chocolate. One with peanuts and another with pecans. It was such an unexpected and enjoyed gifts I have ever had because of the timing. It really cheered me up. Earlier today four nurses came into see me. They wanted to learn more about squirrels. It seems the monster nurse had told her co-workers what I had told her about Oscar.
This is dangerous. I have four girls who had brought their own chairs, sitting there waiting for me to tell them a story. Dod, Oh, Dod. What do I do now?
"Did you ladies know that it was because of a squirrel that Maple syrup was discovered?" I asked the question and they looked at each other. A little voice came over a speaker calling one of the girls. She got on the speaker, "Yes, I am still on my break, Ryan is taking my shift for the rest of the day. Remember, no over time." She sat back down and waited for me to continue.
Yes, Maple syrup was discovered by the wife of a chief who had thrown his tomahawk into a tree before going to bed. She got up the next day to prepare breakfast. She looked up and spotted a squirrel licking up the liquid coming out of the hole made my the tomahawk. She dipped her finger in it. Then she looked around and she saw several squirrels out licking up the liquid coming out of several trees. These Indians lived in long houses that were usually created by cutting down very large trees and hollowing them out. They also made long homes from fallen trees. When she discovered it was sweet they started using it to cure meat and to heat it and put it on many things they ate. Later, the settlers learned about the wonderful magic inside the maple trees.
The girls went into a whole chatter about how much they enjoyed maple syrup. Two hours later the doctor came in to tell me my blood pressure had finally gone down enough for me to go home. Rebecca, also known as monster nurse, gave me a hug. She smiled and said, "Jane you have taught me a great deal today. I will never again discount or patronize another senior citizen."
"Rebecca, I have accomplished my mission. It is time to go home." I had no idea Rebecca had resented her grandmother for being so needy and her mother for 'giving in' to her demands. She assured me that instead of ignoring her grandmother she would now start asking her questions and listening to her stories. A few minutes later one of the nurses came running into the room.
"I looked it up. Jane is right. I mean about the maple syrup. The Indians, the long houses the whole thing. That is so cool."
I got hugs from everyone and extra 'red jello' to take home with me. All in all... an interesting adventure. The young people today many times do not know how to treat the elders. They have not been taught. You have been a brat longer than they have... Be a good one.
Rather than give them a lecture on the subject, which they would tune out... Give them something to think about and wait. Be pleasant but leave them curious about what else you know. Their grand parents will thank you for the change in their grandchildren.
Tags: Grandparents
