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DON'T STIR THE STEW
Posted On 07/02/2009 12:23:33 by Notgrnyyet

DON'T STIR THE SPOILED STEW



I don't rightly know when I started forgetting more, making more messes, or just plain started doing things backwards but it doesn't matter. I'm There! I think that is what makes me remember so well in my past when I didn't do these things. OH BUT DID I?

Last Saturday I was doing my extra grooming that I do when I'm going out somewhere. Shape and paint my fingernails, do my hair, etc. Only thing about that is I'm much slower and tend to forget until the last minute. So late Saturday night I finally got started. First thing I did was spill half a bottle of nail polish in my lap. I stuck the little brush in the bottle and started applying it to my nails. Now guys why in the world did I hang on to the bottle while applying the polish? Heck fire how should I know. I did it and in the process the bottle tipped up and proceeded to pour out in my lap. I didn't even notice that until I started to dip the brush again and saw my pink lap. Well Good grief!!! Just the morning before I shook a bottle of foundation and the lid wasn't on tight so why now nail polish??

Later after my shower I sprayed clorox clean up all in my shower to clean it. As I bent over to scrub the clorox from the top of my shower leaked down in my hair, went all the way to my scalp and started burning.. Oh Good Grief I thought now I'm going to look like a skunk in the morning where that stuff dripped down the middle and bleached my hair. Besides that now I have to re wash my hair tonight and try to get it back in shape.

Now that brings me to what I did when I was about 12 yrs. Old.

I had black curly hair and I wished for blond straight hair. I decided to bleach my hair. Mama said no way so of course I decided I could do it myself. Didn't Mama have a gallon of purex bleach out by the washer? Sure she did! I know by now you know what is coming don't ya'?

WELLL!!!

I got the bottle of bleach and since it was warm outside I just poured some right out of the bottle over my head. That stuff burned every where it touched. I mean it burned like crazy. Thank God I didn't get any in my eyes because I could see my hands turning red. That is when I started screaming bloody murder. I mean I was screeching out those blood curdling yelps that must have raised the hair on Mamas head. Oh My Gosh I'm ruined I thought. I'm gonna' croak right here deader'n'a'doornail. Flat out croak!!!!

I heard the screen door slam and heard my Mama saying, “What in the world are you doing Clydene, stop that catawallin' and tell me what you have done now”!! Heck fire I was in intense pain and couldn't she see what I had done. I mean it was as plain as the nose on your face. Of course I didn't say that to Mama. Heck No!! Well my Mama indeed saw what I had done and she picked up the first thing she could find, which was a slop jar full of dirty water where I had scrubbed it, and threw it over my head, then dragged me to the tub of water that she had drawn to wash clothes and dunked my head and sloshed it around. I thought sure she was gonna drown me. Next came a quart of tomato juice then a can of pet milk to stop the sting. Then my hair and skin got washed thoroughly with soap and water. Worst bath I ever had in my life. But guess what? It Worked! Yep sure did.!! Mama was so scared that I didn't get a spanking and she watched me all the rest of the day for scalds or worse. I was never allowed to forget it though. Not till my poor Mom got like I am now and forgot things. I never brought it up either. Daddy always said No reason to stir the stew after it spoils. Nope!

By the way I still had curly black hair and I have never had any desire to be a blond again. WHY STIR THE ROTTEN STEW????

Tags: Memories Bleach Lessons



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Viewing 1 - 12 out of 12 Comments

07/03/2009 12:55:15

I can just picture it!  Too funny, Clydene!  Your poor Mother - she must have been scared half to death.  Good thing she was a quick thinker, although I suppose she had to be with the things you got up to!



07/03/2009 00:20:34

And furthermore...You are the silly person who said you couldn't write a book and look what happened.  OOPPPs you published 3!  Anyone who hasn't bought your books is missing out on some hilarious reading!



07/03/2009 00:16:44

If you had a whole week to write a little column I bet you could...and when you couldn't you could always draw from your vast selection of hilarious stories.  I just think more people should have a chance to have a good laugh.



07/02/2009 21:25:16

  I don't know why Brenda wasn't there that day MB. I'm surpiised too.     Donna I couldn't just sit down and write on demand. I'd have to use what I've already written.



07/02/2009 21:11:41

You sure know how to spin a yarn, Clydene! About had some leaky drawers again! I'm surprised Brenda wasn't right there pouring the bleach on your head. I would have loved to have been your sidekick. I never got out of my mother's sight long enough to have any fun adventures like you did.



07/02/2009 21:11:14

I wish...oh how I wish...the local newspaper would come pounding on your door begging you to write a weekly column.  They would have readers clambering to get their hands on the paper on the day your Clydene's Corner column would appear.  Said it once and going to say it again.  You are as funny as Erma Bombeck!



07/02/2009 16:56:06

OH NO YOU DIDN'T!!!!  You are so blessed to be here to tell us all your wonderful stories.  Never a dull moment.....I love the phase "Why stir the rotten stew????"  Those old southern phrases.  One of my favorites is  "The apple didn't fall from the tree!" ....RaeDi



07/02/2009 16:22:36

  My hair was still black Margaret. Don't know what might have happened though if Mama hadn't acted so fast.

Yep Jackie  I was a mess and my Mama was a saint.            &nb sp;     I don't know how I ever surviced either except for the time I was raised in and great Parents plus Gods watchcare of me.             Barb that saying was a southern thing I am sure.  Thank you all for reading my blog. Hugs Clydene



07/02/2009 16:03:56

I bet that did burn, oh my goodness. I never did want to be blond that much. Your poor mother, you must have been a handfull.
Jackie

Smileycons!



07/02/2009 15:25:18

So, you didn't say...what did your hair look like after the gallon 'O bleach?  Did it turn red, like bleach does to dark haired people?  Oh My, oh my, you did get into some tight spots, didn't you?  Your Momma certainly had her work cut out for her indeed.


I am glad you survived your childhood so we could read about it.  Those kinds of stories make us all smile.


Love you girl,


Margaret



07/02/2009 13:48:53

It sure is a wonder you survived childhood, it's lucky your mother was such a capable lady, I don't know what I would have done in her shoes. Funny how what we don't have is so appealing, I was a straight-haired blond and wished for dark curls like my sisters had. I never heard the saying "No need to stir the stew after it spoils", how appropriate!


Kiwibarb.



07/02/2009 13:22:58

LOL, Clydene, I honestly don't know how you ever survived childhood. Your Mother had to be a saint. Of course, I was a little Angel (that's my story an I'm stickin' to it). Funny! Story.





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