My son tried to call but alas as I was at church I had my phone turned down and did not hear it. I missed his call. He spoke to his dad for a minute and NO the mail still has not arrived. Nothing in over a month now. I was heartsick to hear this.

I am still waiting to hear something about the job but I have an excellent lead on one that I am checking into first thing Monday morning. It is at our local Mental Health Facility and I am well liked there for the work that I did with foster children and hope that will be a feather in my cap. Wish me luck.

I have reached a point in my life where I have lived for everyone else and now it is my turn. I am not being selfish here as I am looking for ways to better myself in order to serve the needs of others. This Women's Ministry has come along just at the right time. I am really excited about it.

I have reached the conclusion that God has allowed me to endure the events of my life so that I can reach the lost and hurting people that I come into contact with. I still do not entirely understand some of the things that I have had to endure, but I now know it was all part of Him bringing me to the place where I stand today.

I feel as though I am finally where He can complete the work that He has begun in me without resistance. It seems as though I have spent my entire life on the defensive and now, He has broken down those walls that I have surrounded myself with and has allowed me to rebuild them to suit me and who He created me to become.

I still have walls around me, new walls that have become fences, fences with gates in them. I alone hold the key to those gates. That way I can let in what I know is good for me and safe guard myself from the bad that would only unravel the good work that has been done thus far. It is my life, my fence and my gate. I no longer have to be the victim of someone else as I can just keep them locked on the other side of the fence. This allows freedom.

Freedom to blossom into the person I have only dreamt of becoming as I was too afraid to allow myself to move forward. I was angry and bitter. I lived a life full of regret and pain buried in the depths of depression. Through the agony of all of those defeats, I have finally broken through and have found fulfillment and freedom.

Fulfillment in doing what I know is right and doing it while actively seeking advancement . I am finally doing something to make myself a better person by admitting I need to grow and being willing to change to allow that growth.

Freedom because I want to do this and am doing it without feeling obligated or forced into a place outside of my comfort zone by some well meaning person who is only seeking to serve their own needs.