Our family is French-Canadian but, with the arrival of our English speaking children, we had become what we called Fren-glish. LOL!  We would jump from one language to another as most folks with 2 or more languages do.  I had an understanding of the Braille alphabet although I never really learned to read more than ...the alphabet! J   And now, in an attempt to get Andrew to speak, we had decided to use sign language with him. 

We knew he could talk but he did not seem to be able to think of & organize his thoughts in order to communicate them to us.  Instead, he would remember & repeat bits of sentences that in one way or another, conveyed the message he was wanting to give us.   For example, every day when he came back from school, I would meet him at the bus & say, Hi Andrew! Did you have a good day?”  Then we would go inside & he would take my hand & lead me to the fridge for his glass of milk & point to the corner where the cookie jar was.  Andrew thrives on routines & that was only one of many that he was used to.

One day I was in a real rush to make an appointment on time.  I had wanted to wait for his school bus to arrive so I could tell him that he’d be staying with the sitter.  “Hi Andrew!”  I said as I took his hand.  “We have to hurry because Mommy has a doctor’s appointment & I don’t want to be late”.   We hurriedly went up the porch steps & I took his coat off.  Expecting Andrew to take my hand & lead me to the fridge, I looked behind me & saw him just standing by the door.  I stopped & looked at him & he said, ‘Hi Andrew. Did you have a good day?”   Bless his little heart!  I had forgotten to ask him & although he couldn’t answer me, he still wanted me to ask.  By simply repeating that sentence, he was telling me that those one-sided conversations we had with him were nevertheless important & meaningful to him.

Signed English is easy to learn so I bought the books & proceeded to learn & to teach everyone in the house whowas interested.  For several weeks, we practiced easy, basic words, phrases & sentences.  Slowly we repeated the sign+word combinations for dozens of things. After a while, we were ready to start .  The ONE rule was that if Andrew wanted a cookie, for example, he had to make the signs for ‘want’ & then for ‘cookie’ & then ‘please’.  He had to sign the words BUT, he also had to say the words before he got the cookie. We would help him by providing the wwww sound for want ... ( or whatever other word, if he was struggling) but he HAD to say the words.  Andrew took to signing like a duck takes to water.  He did struggle with those spoken words though.  He would sign, then point & wait... staring at the cookie jar.  When I insisted on words, he would let out a great sigh & then sign & ever so slowly voice the necessary word.  Of course each completed sentence was richly praised & applauded. It took over a year before Andrew’s preferred mode of communicating started to change. After a year, we started noticing that he would often say the word FIRST & then sign. His vocabulary was steadily increasing & he was trying harder & harder to communicate with us.  We were very proud of his accomplishments but, more importantly, he was very proud of himself.

There is no greater joy for a parent than to see one’s son or daughter master various skills. That is true of any child, no matter what the level of intelligence is.  But when a special needs child is FINALLY able to do something that he or she has been trying so hard & for so long to accomplish, it is almost a miraculous moment!  And believe me... there have been many of those moments in my life!

The fact that we were familiar with blindness & had already started to learn & use sign language with Andrew, was, to me, like a ‘heavenly sign’ that adopting Mona was exactly what God wanted us to do. Mona’s adoption agency was, understandably unsure & sceptical about our abilities to take on such a challenge but, her case worker nevertheless began the adoption process.  In May of 1986, we went to visit Mona at her school & then at the foster home she was then living in.  The image of that tiny little girl, wearing very thick eyeglasses & a type of hearing aid that children wear  in a harness with the cord leading to the ear mold, in the outer ear, will forever be etched in my mind & heart.  She was wearing a cute & colourful little outfit.  Her tightly curled black hair had been braided in several braids & each one ended with a pretty barrette.   The teacher who was with Mona, bent low in order to be at eye level with her, & proceeded to introduce us using signs.  Fortunately, the bit of sight Mona had allowed folks to communicate with her using ‘in the air’ & not ‘in the hand’ type of signs. (Like the signs that Helen Keller needed.)   Mona watched the signs & made a few sounds but did not sign back.  She came closer to Den & I wanting to examine us.  She was obviously curious!

Later, again through the use of signs & also by writing down our sentences, we were able to chat with Mona’s foster mother, who was also deaf.  We were told that Mona was a sweet girl but she had a temper.  She had broken several pair of glasses as she often threw them while upset. Mona had unfortunately been in several foster homes before coming to this family & the foster mom suspected there may have been abuse ‘of various kinds’ in some of those previous foster homes.  The cruelty of certain humans can be totally mind-boggling!!

June 19^th.  That is the day that Mona moved to our home.  We had had to rearrange our bedroom set-up because Mona needed her own room.  The children had not really been consulted on her joining our family.  They did not take to her as they had to Andrew...  Mona was not the type of child you were drawn to.  She was more a child you pitied & loved because she was so needy. Our family, 4 boys & 7 girls, was now complete.  Their ages, in June, were 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 11, 10, 7 & 7. And I was all of 39!  This time, I was CERTAIN that she WAS the LAST one.

There are no certainties in anything in life.   Perfect health can quickly change to poor health.   Marriages dissolve into divorces.  Lovers become enemies.  If we do not try anything, for fear of failing, then we limit our growth.  It is safe to say that as much as I wholeheartedly embraced this last challenge, it scared me like none of the other adoptions had.   Denis & I were determined to try & to continue trying not only to meet Mona’s many needs but also those of ALL our children.    God willing.... it would all work out in the end.  

Eve