There are a couple of "coal in the stocking stories" my grandmother used to tell me.

One: A proud but poor man had 3 daughters that had reached the age to marry. The problem was, he had no dowry to give them. Through Christmas magic; Sainta Clause secretly gave the family enough money to allow their daughters to start their lives out with their new husbands.

He did this by placing the money in some stockings that were drying by the fireplace. When word spread abu the miracle; the custom of putting stockings by the fireplace began. However, Santa did visit all the homes in the village, but for those who Saint Nicholas knew to be greedy, he left them with a lump of coal instead of gold.

Two: Some people say that the lumps of coal story started in Holland. As the story goes that on Christmas Eve children would put their clogs by the fireplace before stockings were used. When a child was bad they got a lump of coal, but if they were good they got a small toy, cookies or candy.

My new Daddy had a new story to add to the whole idea. It all started on a lazy Sunday when Daddy was cooking outside on the grill. My Daddy always used wood chips and coal. I picked up a piece of coal that had fallen on the ground. I started to draw on the concrete floor of the patio. I was not prepared for the answer my father would give me to the question, "Daddy, coal .. why do you use it for cooking?" I was curious why something that was so much fun to draw with could be used to start a fire.

Daddy told me that a lot of people burned coal to warm their homes because it burned so easily. He then lowered the lid on the grill and turned and picked me up. He gave me a very warm hug and whispered "I will tell you a secret about coal." I was excited, I immediately wondered if Grandmother new the secret?

I loved sitting in Daddy's lap. Daddy was deaf and wore a hearing aid.  It was a small flat box that he kept clipped inside his undershirt.  A small wire ran from the box to his ear.  He talked on the phone different from everyone else in that he turned the receiver upside down and put the listening end next to his hearing aid.  I had learned to speak up and to pronounce my words when talking to him.  He never realized how loud he was talking.  We all just got used to it.  I would always prop myself so I was facing him and leaned against his big hands when he held me this way. It made it easier when he talked so loud.  He was a tender man but he could talk loud.  All it took was sitting in his lap and rubbing his head a little to bring out his tender side.  I would reach up and rub his burr haircut. I loved that feeling. I had seen pictures of him when he was young and once I asked him why he had cut his hair so short. He simply said it was not his idea but an accident caused by a barber he had been at a party with the night before the haircut so he no longer used that barber. I still liked rubbing it. I was all ears as I listened to the secret of coal.

He started out by taking a diamond out of his pocket. My Daddy was a diamond appraiser by trade. He always had at least one or two diamonds in his pocket. I am sure they were industrial grade but diamonds just the same.  I just thought they were pretty rocks. He held up the diamond and moved it around just enough for it to catch the light and sparkle. I could actually see the tiny rainbows come and go as he moved it between his fingers. He said, "This used to be a lump of coal." My surprised look told him he had captured my curiosity.

He then went on to tell me how a diamond was formed by pressure, heat, and time. Then I asked, "Where did the coal come from?" He grinned and answered, "Dinosaurs and other creatures that died and got buried for thousands of years." I was fascinated by what he was saying. "You mean when we die we turn into coal and then into diamonds?" He laughed at my simple summary of his story. He then explained I needed to remember that thousands of years would also be needed to make it happen. He also explained that trees and other living things would also eventually turn to coal.. anything with carbon in it would eventually turn to coal. "Do I have carbon in me?" He shook his head, yes and then he gave me another hug and said "But, you are already my diamond. You sparkle all the time." I loved that and hugged him around the neck. I had decided that coal was a good thing. You could draw with it, cook with it, stay warm with it, and it could turn into diamonds.  I like drawing with it best.

I always had coal on my list in my letter to Santa. I had learned that diamonds were precious. They were hard enough to cut glass. When I asked my father once if diamonds were more important than anything else. His answer surprised me.  Daddy made the statement that a diamond was merely a lump of coal that stuck around and did its job. He said if I remembered that; I would not give up when someone gave me a difficult job to do.  Coal had to be able to take the heat and the pressure of completing its job to become a diamond

Later I told Grandmother what Daddy had said.  She added her own part of the lesson.  Grandmother said quitters would always be just a lump of coal.  Like coal, the dreams of quitters would always turn to dust.  Coal has to endure the time and heat necessary to become a diamond or to fulfill it's destiny.  I never wanted to be a quitter.  I found that the lesson had served me well throughout my life.  When I had something to overcome, I did not give up or quit until the task was complete. There was a time, when I first retired when I had forgotten this lesson.  I actually became a quitter.  It almost cost me my life.

The tradition of putting coal in my stocking was one I loved.  I would always use it sparingly to draw with so that it would not run out until Christmas the following year.  Every Christmas I got a lump of coal in my stocking and felt totally blessed because that proved Santa had gotten my letter.  At our house if I was naughty I would not get coal in my stocking.  Once when I watched a Christmas movie and the bad kids got goal I asked grandmother if I needed to be bad to get coal.  She said it was just for that story.. it had nothing to do with reality.  Imagine, she went on to say about all those poor kids who need coal to warm their houses.  They got coal in their stockings too.  It was a gift to some and shame to others.  She said if I was naughty I would not get coal.

Stick around, do your job, shine. Let the diamond in you come out. One thing to remember is that we ALL are diamonds in the making. Don't get snobbish about it, remember, a diamond is merely a lump of coal that stuck around and did its job. It is your job to be the best "You" you can be. Do not give up on dreams.  Start new ones.  A lump of coal or a diamond is the value you place in yourself and what others see.  That is your job.  Stick around... get it done.

Tags: Home Christmas Grandmothers Humor

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Please pay attention, dear reader. The characters in this story can get confusing to anyone who was not actually there.

A very dear friend of mine, named Bertha, also lived at the lake and also loved animals; had an odd habit. She loved to give her pets odd names. She had one black lab she called Turn Around. Basically, because it was her grand daughter's idea on account of the fact every time you turned around the dog was there. She followed Bertha every where.

If she got out it got interesting. Bertha would cup her hand over her mouth and yell, "Turn Around." Every jogger, walker, or person in their yard would... turn around. It got crazy when everyone tried to help her find Turn Around. Everyone would be yelling, "Turn Around". Cars driving through the neighborhood would, start turning around. Anyway, that is not the story here, just a side note.

Turn Around was expecting puppies when she arrived as a stray. She had her puppies but none survived. They were all still born. It broke Bertha's heart. She was beside herself because Turn Around cried for her babies. Her milk sacks were bulging. I suggested she schedule a trip to the vet. I knew the vet had stuff to help with the hormones and the over production of milk. She could also schedule the spaying, (attitude adjustment), that would be necessary.

Bertha loved to sleep with all her windows open. She had screens on all but the one where her window air conditioner was. That particular window opened above the ac unit. You guess it, a new arrival. A mother raccoon with two babies moved into Bertha's kitchen and setup housekeeping in Bertha's bread box during the night. When Bertha discovered her guests she noticed the mother had a broken leg and was having some mobility issues. Bertha had a very soothing voice and it seemed to help the little mother stay calm.

Bertha was not sure what to feed this little mother. Bertha's grand daughter once again helped her name her new guest. She kept saying "What If" she ate this or that? Bertha had some peanut butter, some peanuts, grapes, some almonds, some pecans, and some canned tuna. She setup a tray with a bit of each one on it and offered it to What If. What If, said thank you by eating all of it. It was fascinating to watch. Bertha did know enough to offer two bowls of water. One was to drink from the other for food washing. Each bite was carefully washed before it was popped into her mouth. Bertha worked with What If for a while until she could touch her. She knew she was going to have to take her to the vet to fix the broken leg. It was a few days before Turn Around's appointment so she decided rather than change anything she would just take What If in and leave Turn Around there at home. She got the cat carrier out and opened the door. She put the blanket that What If had been laying on into the carrier and left the door open.

What was she going to do with the baby raccoons? While Bertha was getting dressed What If and Turn Around worked it out. When Bertha came back into the kitchen there was Turn Around nursing the baby raccoons. Turn Around had even gone into the cat carrier by herself and was waiting for Bertha to close the door. Bertha almost started to cry. She said she knew the dear heavenly father had something to do with this one.

What If got her little leg fixed along with a rabies shot. Bertha had to leave her at the vets for 48 hours. While she was gone Turn Around took over motherly duties. She came home with Bertha after two days at the vets. She and Turn Around traded off each day on baby sitting chores.

Turn Around's milk eventually dried up but she never had to take medication to reduce production and was able to get scheduled for her "attitude adjustment". What If eventually moved out one night with her babies. We still see her once in a while. She pops in to say hello to Bertha and sometimes is caught napping with Turn Around.

What If and Turn Around did what was supremely natural to them and Super Natural to us.

Tags: Pets Home Nature Humor

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So I'm checking out at Walmart with a huge bag of dog food and this nosy lady behind me asked if I had a dog??! 😳 Like seriously? duh, I'm buying dog food!!! So I said "no ma'am, I don't. I'm starting the dog food diet again. I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but I lost 20+ pounds! woke up in intensive care with a tube coming out of ‘you don't want to know where’, and an IV in my arm. But anyway, It's a rapid weight loss diet. All you do is load your pockets with food nuggets and eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well, so I’m going to try it again." (I should add that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, this chick asked if I ended up in ICU because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, "no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me." I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Now that you've read this I have to confess, I copied it. Now you can copy and share. Make someone else laugh.

Tags: Life

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I had just moved to a tiny town in East Texas. My house was located within walking distance of City Hall. When I moved in my yard had been mowed by the realtor's crew. Time passed and low and behold... it needed it all over again.

I did not have a lawn mower. I had a very dear friend who pitched in and used my weed wacker to cut down the knee high grass in my yard. Time and my habit of having coffee in the morning and hot chocolate in the evening on my back porch laid the ground work for my battle with City Hall.

I love watching the squirrels in my yard. My yard has several large pecan trees in it. I had named one pair of squirrels Mr. & Mrs. SQ. I also nicknamed them the Bicker-sons because they always seem to be arguing about something. Then there was Oscar. An orphan I took in, raised, then released into the yard. He had found a mate, married, and had his own little family. They resided in another tree. We live close to the train track so we are always hosting traveling squirrels as well.

I did not need to put out feeders as the trees provided plenty of food for my backyard tenants. I got to watching them in the yard as the grass started growing again and wild flowers started popping up in the yard. I was amazed at how much the squirrels were enjoying the wild flowers. In fact it was why I decided not to plant rose bushes. I was so afraid the thorns would harm my little friends. I threw out more wild flower seeds into the yard. What fun. I got to watch the squirrels enjoy their beauty and aromas. I did not cut my grass again. I had no idea it was against a City Ordinance to have tall grass in your yard. I had lived in the country where such matters were no one's business but your own.

The police came to my door one day to issue me a ticket for not mowing my yard. Now, let me explain. I look like a nice old lady.... but I am not. I fight for what I feel are my rights as a free American citizen. I tidied up the yard from trash that had blown in from the highway and trimmed along the fence line. That was not enough. I was issued a second ticket. It was time to fight.

I arrived at city hall with a photo album of my yard. I talked about the beauty of being able to see God's work unfolding right in the middle of town. I talked for a few minutes and then shared my photos.

I won. My cases, both of them, were dismissed and I was congratulated for my sense of beauty for the town but also my compassion for its furry citizens. The major now comes by sometimes and joins me on my back porch to watch the magic for herself.

Tags: Animals Home Life

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Now days mail delivery is a little different. I still get my mail from my mail box. I also get notification of its arrival through my email. I got such a notification through email for a letter from a friend of mine. I went to the mail box after the time the mail usually arrived. Nothing, but my neighbors mail. I thought that was curious. I thought to myself, it will just come tomorrow.

I proceeded to take my neighbor's mail to them since it was just down the street. I walked over and was about to put the mail in their mailbox when a man came running out shouting about messing with his friend's mail. "I put my hands up, still holding the mail, and said, they delivered to the wrong address. I got their mail today." The man snatched the envelopes from my hand and checked then opened the mail box and pointed to the mail inside. "You were after this."

I shook my head, "No, believe me. I got this mail by mistake in my box today. I was just bring it to them."

He read the first envelope and it was the mail for an address two streets over. I laughed, "I guess they have a new mail carrier. They don't know the streets yet." The man seemed to calm down but was still not sure I was telling the truth. I told him I would take the mail to the other address. He gave me a funny look but handed it to me and went back into his house.

I walked two more streets over and put the mail into the box. I got curious and decided to check the mail that was already in the box. All the mail in that box was addressed to City Hall which was 5 blocks away. I left the mail addressed to that address and proceeded to City Hall. I knew City Hall did not have an outside mail box so went inside.

When I got to City Hall, I was tired. Now I had walked in a huge square around town only to end up a block away from my house. I checked with the ladies with the Water Department and showed them the mail I had gotten for them from the last place I visited. They checked and there was no mail delivered to them. They gladly accepted the mail I had.

I decided to go home. I noticed from across the street that someone had left the flap open on my mail box. I had remember closing it. I checked and someone had left an empty paper cup in the box. I went into the house.

Now you may think the carrier got all this mixed up, however, I was the one who was going to be arrested for tampering with the mail. The grumpy old man had phoned the police and told them I was a crazy old woman going around mixing up everyone's mail. He knew where I lived and wanted to file a complaint.

I got the knock on the door the next morning by two very polite officers. I tried to tell them what had happened. They said a complaint had been filed and I was actually seen taking mail from someone's box. I said "OK, let me get ready."

I left them in the living room while I went into my room to get ready to leave. I put in a call the Chief of Police, a very dear friend of mine. Before I could finish tell him about what was going on... The officers had watched a dog approach my mail box with mail in his mouth. He took out the mail that was in my box and put his stack in. He pushed the door closed with his nose, picked up the new stack of mail he had gotten from my box and trotted down the street. The officers started laughing. They went out on the front porch so they could better observe and watched as the dog repeated this all the way down the next street.

The dog had belonged to a mail carrier who had died. No one thought to check (the carrier lived alone) on the man's dog. The dog always went with him on his rounds. The dog had been trained to put mail in and take mail out of the boxes. When he got loose, he resumed his duties. The police officers apologized for almost arresting me.

The dog was taken to our shelter here in town. I went by to talk to the grumpy old man to fill him in on what had happened. He was very pleasant when he realized I was not a mail thief. He did however, go down and adopt the little guy. His name was on his collar; you guessed it; "Special Delivery".

Tags: Pets Mail New In Town Home Life

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Tags: Retirement Home Life Humor

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I lived with 3 dogs and a cat. When I lived on the lake my day was never typical or routine. One such day went something like this:

Baby Girl (my big yellow dog) had gotten real good about bringing me turtles at night when I'm not paying attention to her. The gifts had become a daily thing for her. Each morning (with Baby Girl following) I would take my precious little gifts down the back steps and place them in the opening leading under the house. This seemed to be the safest place to put them. Sweet Pea (large gray hound) wanted to kiss everything and Freddie (pit bull pup) wanted to taste everything. The dogs would not easily find them there and the weather would not give them a problem. If I just put them in the yard, Baby Girl would just bring them back inside.

Then one morning I looked at a turtle crawling across the kitchen floor then I saw another coming from the bathroom and still another coming down the hall. I called Baby Girl. She came immediately. I pointed at the turtle and pointed to the back door. She tapped the back of the shell and the creatures closed up. She gently picked it up in her mouth and headed to the back door. I open the back door and she takes them one at a time and puts them under the house.  I tried to make mental note to remember they were under there if I ever sent a plumber under the house.. I mean over the last week Baby Girl and I had deposited at least twenty snapping turtles under there.  Baby Girl seemed to accept the fact that they belonged under there but only after I found them in the house.  There was procedure of events and she stuck to it.  I would look in her eyes once and a while and swear she was trying to talk.  I also knew she knew what I was saying when I talked to her.  She always followed my finger when I pointed.  She was truly an amazing, drive you crazy, wonderful fur person.

When I went to open the back door I discovered a new little family of possums had moved into a tree branch that had fallen there during the last storm. I did not move it because it is too big. I had decided to leave the little momma with 2 babies hanging upside down on the branch. It was not big but too big for me to move with tenants in it.

While waiting for Baby Girl to come back after her last deposit, I watched Ashley my cat sit on the chest freezer in the kitchen and meow out the window. Within a few minutes a raccoon popped down from the roof and hopped over to the open window and joined her. They both went into the back room and curled up together. You can tell it is spring. Did I tell you already about the tiny little tree frog that hopped into the house? It was a race to see who was going to catch him first me or Freddie.

I did not know what I'm going to do about the raccoon yet. I did not know yet if I should tell Ashley she is a cat or tell the raccoon he is not. I decided to work on that one tomorrow. I tried to cross my computer room again and fell, but not before landing on my knee. I tried to get up using my desk chair and broke it. I finally got up using the desk.

I went back into the living room, and just sat there staring at a blank TV. I started laughing so hard I could not stop. Baby Girl started kissing me all over she was sure something was wrong. Freddie started dancing a jig and licking my bruised knees and Sweetie Pie had laid down and put both her front paws over her eyes.

The tree frog, the turtles, the tree branch on the back porch with tenants, falling and landing on my bad knee, breaking my office chair, Ashley and the raccoon made up the list so far and the day was still early.  It was funny, because it was all too funny not to laugh at.

I love when all the weird things happen at the same time. I figured my karma was good for quite a while. I guess if you don’t laugh at God's first joke he keeps sending them to you till you do. I no longer live at the lake. Baby Girl, Freddie, and Ashley are all gone now. The memory is a good one. It is a day God made me sit down and laugh right out loud.

Tags: Pets Home Humor Retirement

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"Quick, quick, get in the house. Got your camera handy? You gotta see what Bridget is doing now." My aunt ushered us all into the house. My mother handed her camera to her sister. Thanksgiving day had officially begun.

My sister and I headed down the hall to find our cousin, Tina. We were all adopted and looked like sisters. Tina was one year younger than me and one year older than my sister. We looked like stair steps when we lined up. I was always the one on the end. Tina was always the one in the middle. We were all best friends.  I was 7, Tina 6, and my sister was 5.  All with long blond hair and ribbons in our hair.  We always had so many ruffles on our underwear we had to bend over so our mom could make sure they were all straight.   

Part of the mishaps for this day were my fault. I was the one who had helped a friend find homes for her red setter puppies. My mother got one and her sister got another and named it Bridget. Apparently, Bridget had started grinning every time my aunt said, "Smile Bridget." It looked awful to me. She looked like Bridget was going to bite you. But she would wag her tail and sit very properly and grin up at you. She loved the attention she got for doing it. She got to where if she did something wrong she would run and get in front of my aunt, sit very properly, wag her tail and grin. I am getting ahead of myself. Today was the day that Bridget had first mastered "smiling for the camera."

My older cousin and his dad had run off to the store and taken the camera with them. My aunt was beside herself with excitement. My grandmother had been staying with them over the Thanksgiving holiday. Grandmother was in the kitchen cooking as usual.

"Are the girls' dresses ready?" My mother asked. My aunt was a very talented seamstress and every year made new dresses for us girls. We would ware them to church and we looked like triplets for that one weekend every year. Thanksgiving was always fun because my grandmother and her two daughters were busy in the kitchen cooking everything from turkey, pies, a ham, vegetables, and all the side dishes. The breakfast nook was right off the kitchen so we girls could sit there watching and listening as they chattered on and on about what they were cooking and catching up with one another. "Yes, I have them all laid out in Tina's room." My aunt then suggested that they get all the food set to finish cooking while we girls went into change and put on our new dresses. That was the plan. My aunt had finished turning everything to simmer and stopped to do one last basting on the turkey. We little girls headed down the hall.

She had fixed the turkey in the lower oven. (Her first mistake). She opened the oven door and pulled the big bird out and left the door open (her second mistake) while she went to fetch the spoon to do the basting. She decided to leave the kitchen for just a minute to check the table (her third mistake).

Bridget did not know any better. She was just tall enough to be able to put her nose right between the legs of that turkey. Yes, it was hot... but boy she really wanted it. She pushed past the heat just far enough to get her collar stuck on the wire that held the legs together. My aunt had unhooked the wire to use the juices inside the bird to do the basting. Yes, Bridget jerked from the heat.   The turkey followed her. She whimpered and threw her head back which brought the hot turkey straight up and back down again on her head. Now, we had a red Irish Setter with a very hot turkey stuck on its head. Bridget could not see and was in pain. She started running into walls and down the hall. My mother, my aunt, and grandmother had gone out on to the back patio to escape the kitchen heat. My aunt had totally forgotten she had left the oven door open, (her final mistake). They had no idea what was going on inside the house.

Bridget heard we three girls giggling in Tina's room where we had gone to try on our new dresses. We were all standing there in little white slips, white ruffled bottom panties, black patented leather shoes, and white socks with lace trim. Bridget burst into the room. We screamed at the dead bird running into the room. We threw our hands up in the air and started running. Bridget followed the screams and ran after us.

We ran out the front door waving our hands in the air and screaming as this dead turkey chased close behind us. The neighbors came out of the houses and watched as the three of us ran down the street. We were scared to death.  This dead bird had four legs and was chasing us.  Finally, we glanced back and saw the turkey suddenly fall off Bridget's head. A turkey ghost of steam rose from her head. We screamed again and ran back towards the house. Bridget snatched the pour dead carcass in her mouth. She had a hold of it and dragged it.. stopping periodically to get a better grip.  The run had cooled it off some; she claimed her prize and trotted around the end of the block and back up the alley.
She was found finishing off most of the meat and was trying to eat the skeleton.  Our turkey dinner just vanished,  the entire bird. It was a miracle she did not choke on one of the bones.  My Aunt finally caught up with her.  When my aunt yelled her name. Bridget instantly put the skeleton down and ran up to her, sat very properly, and grinned. She remained outside while we ate. She had both her paws up on the glass door looking in for the whole meal.

We had no idea that the neighbors had gotten such a kick out of our little adventure. They had named it The Flight of The Cherubs. Years later when we were all adults one of the neighbors started telling the story and ran in her house to show us the picture she had taken that day. She said it was one of her fondest memories.  She also said every neighbor had at least one picture of the Flight of the Cherubs in their family album. 

When we all sat down to share Thanksgiving; it was a custom for each person to say what they were thankful for.

Each person had stated different things, grandmother was the last one. She bowed her head and thanked God we had also cooked a ham. We all said Amen on that one.  My sister did not understand why they were mad at Bridget.  After all she had saved us from that dead bird.  For years after that my sister got scared every time she saw a turkey or chicken .. cooked or not.  She completely believed that dead birds could chase you.

I never found a shot of Bridget with the turkey on her head but she turned into quite the family character.  She was most famous for, you guessed it, the Flight of the Cherubs.

Tags: Thanksgiving Christmas Holidays Pets Home Memories

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Tags: Pets Life Memories

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