Two hurricanes are headed to the gulf and will hit Texas within the next three days.  Texans have been through storm preparations many times. If it is going to hit another state, we prepare to take on guests.  If it is going to hit us we prepare to endure without power.  This usually entails neighbors getting together and freezing as much ice as possible.  Those who have generators are usually put in charge of the food.  They can still refrigerate.  Bottled water, cleaning supplies, sand bags, shovels, and plywood over large windows are also done for everyone.

My tale today takes place during the latest preparations.  I need to first let my followers know that the last storm that went through here brought large trees down.  One hit the roof, another hit my fence on one side, yet another yet my fence on the opposite side.  You all know about the one that hit my power line.  That, as they say, is another story.  The result of these trees is a ruined fence.

It is because of this that Precious got out of the yard and is still missing.  I reported it to the various agencies around and posted her picture.  I spotted her picture on another pet finder sight as a found dog that the one posting fell in love with and decided to keep.  With no contact information I could do is leave a message that they had my dog.

This morning, the chief of police, who gave me Precious in 2018 decided to bring me Bella.  Bella is a very sweet brown dog.  She probably weighs in at 35 to 40 pounds and is kind of shy.   I have no idea what breed she is.  She looks to be a lab mix.  She has silky brown fur and is about 24” tall.

The shelter was getting all the animals to homes during the storms.  This is SOP for us.  We might be required to take on standed animals from Houston or any of the towns along the coast  It was easier to do that if we had an empty shelter. I think we still have one or two that were a result of Hurricane Katrina. Hurricane Harvey also brought us a few.  I told the chief I would be glad and happy to take Bella.  If she got along with Sweet Pea she could stay.  He hugged me and, was playing taxi for Oscar and Grammy was squeaking for her ride.  She was sitting on the staircase I built that led to the cat tree on top of the dryer where she and Oscar lived.  Oscar had helped me teach Grammy house manners. Introductions to my two house squirrels would come later.

I had been in the middle of hurricane preparations.  “Jane, are the dogs closed off?”  The voice I knew to be the mother of the three kids I baby sat on several occasions.  I had also worked as a volunteer substitute at the daycare they attended.  I was expecting to see three little girls when I closed the dogs off and entered the living room.  Instead, there was my friend and a big man who was older than me but looked to be a relative.  The family resemblance was obvious.  “I have the girls at home, the senior day care shut down because of a virus scare.  I thought that maybe if you could take care of my pa for a couple of days it would really help me out.  He has been tested and is virus free but he can't be around the kids right now.  They are going back and forth to school.  Between flu season, the virus and all the hurricane prep I just need to get things situated before he comes to stay.  Please tell me yes.”

I had noticed that the guy was looking around the house but not saying anything.  He had a nice look on his face.  He seemed quiet and shy.  “Does he like TV?  What shows does he like?  Does he have any diet restrictions?  Anything I need to know?”

“Well, Jane, he is a recovering alcoholic.  He has been sober for about two years now.  He is hard of hearing and wears a hearing aid when he remembers to put it in.  He is very nice when you get to know him.  Do you have any booze in the house?”

“No, I have no booze, although I would drink it right now if I did.” I chuckled.  “He will be okay here, I hope he likes fur people.”

 She replied, “He does but he is more of a cat person so I guess he will have to adjust.”  She gave me a hug, her pa a hug, then left.

When I woke up this morning I had one cup of coffee before Belle's arrival.  I had just remembered that.  I went to the kitchen and got another cup along with a cup for my guest.  I put the two cups, sugar and creamer, and the coffee pot on a tray and carried it to the living room.  My guests grinned and clapped his hands.  It seemed to fit the bill.

"I am Jane.  I am glad to meet you, Ralph."

"Out, I don't want to go out.  Thanks for the java.  No, I am not in pain."  He apparently was having problems with his hearing aid.  I thought to myself this had just taken a different turn.  My father had been deaf so I had learned from an early age to speak loudly and distinctly when necessary.  I spoke up, "I want to introduce you to Sweet Pea and then you can watch TV."

"No, I don't wanta pee.  Show me where the head is though, I might need to do it later."  With that he got up and opened the bedroom door before I could stop him.  Sweet Pea came bounding into the room with Oscar on his back.  Ralph's mouth flew open.  "Hell's bells, lady... she is a big one."  Then he suddenly looked away.  He looked back at Sweet Pea and then looked away.  He quietly stepped back, shut the door, and sat back down in the living room.  He poured himself another cup of coffee and sat in the chair, not looking at me, but starring at the floor.  I asked myself... what on earth could be wrong?  "I have some peach preserves if you want some biscuits."

"Lady, I can reach all I need to reach.  I know the head is around that curve and I don't do rum anything.  It has nothing to do with risk, just personally preference.  Now, Please let me just sit a minute."

I decided I would go and secure the animals and then come back to Ralph.  I once again opened the door and then closed it behind me.  I knew I was going to have to introduce Bella and Sweet Pea first so I could put Ralph in the front bedroom.  I called Sweet Pea who had deposited Oscar on the steps to the cat tree.  I went into the office and slowly cracked the door so the two girls could smell each other and only see a little bit.  Wagging tales told me all would be well......little did I know.........I was wrong.

Bella wanted to play.  Sweet Pea is old... she only plays with squirrels.  Sweet Pea did a deep guttural growl and backed Bella away.  Bella barked and wiggled at both ends trying to coax Sweet Pea.  Sweet Pea's response, "Go away, kid, I just ain't in the mood."  The bark had alerted Oscar and sure enough he came scampering into the room, Bella's ears perked up, she barked again and started the chase.  Oscar ran straight to Sweet Pea.  Sweet Pea lowered her long nose allowing Oscar to hop onto her snout, up her head, resting on her back.  Sweet Pea stamped her feet and barked back at Bella.  I came between the two girls and scooped up Oscar.  I shouted, "NO."  Everyone suddenly stopped and looked at me.  I was holding Oscar up high. I stroked him as I talked to Bella.  Bella was thrilled to meet anyone she just did not know we had indoor squirrels.  She also did not know chasing squirrels was not allowed.  I sat on the edge of the bed and allowed Bella to approach Oscar.  She licked him then instantly started jumping and barking.  "Let chase."  Again, I shouted, "NO."  Suddenly the door opened.  Ralph shouted at me, "I was just going to taste the stuff you don't have to get all huffy about it." 

"Oh, Ralph, I am so sorry."  I tried to continue explaining but suddenly Ralph closed the door.  I put Oscar back in the cat tree and then cracked the door and saw Ralph once again sitting in the chair staring at the floor.  I went back to the Bella and Sweet Pea who were now on opposite sides of the bed on the floor, looking around the corner at each other.  Both were panting.  Sweet Pea was upset because she always goes into the front bedroom to lay under the AC to take her nap.  She stretches out across the whole double bed.  Now the door to that room was closed.  So far this day had been somewhat odd to say the least.

I truly felt that success could be achieved it I could get Ralph in front of the TV with a remote.  I could then fix him something to eat and he would relax a bit.  Apparently he liked the smell of the pasta sauce so that was good.  Getting through to him while introducing fur people is a disaster waiting to happen. I finally decided to bite the bullet.

I went into the living room.  I did not say a word to him.  I took him by the hand to lead him to the bedroom.  I opened the front bedroom door.  He took one step inside and stepped back.  "Hay, lady, you are nice but... please.. I just can't."  I started to laugh.  Imagine him thinking I was putting the moves on him.  God help me, I thought.  I put up both my hands, and said, "You can rest in here if you wish.  I will hook up the TV."  He followed my finger as I pointed to the TV sitting beside the bed on the floor.  "I want you to the hook it up."  I shouted.  "Lady, look I told you.. I can't get anything UP so stop offering me the damn bed.  It ain't gonna happen."  I started laughing.  The poor man had completely misunderstood me.  Makes me wonder what his mind was on when he was staring at the floor.  I threw my hands in the air, walked over to the TV and picked it up.  I shouted, "HOOK IT UP?"  He grinned and took it from me and proceeded to set it up.  I decided I could check on the dogs while he was doing that.  Then I thought for a minute.  I decided maybe I could make him understand.  I waited till he got it setup then physically turned his face to mine.  I motioned to his ear.  And then did a thumps up sign, then a sign like I was turning a screw followed by another thump pointing up.  He immediately played with the hearing aid on his ear and turned it up.  Dah!!  He did not know it was down.  I said, "Can you hear me now?"

"Sure, Lady, I can hear you just fine.  I laughed and sighed a big sigh.  I have been shouting trying to make you understand me.  I knew you had your hearing aid but for some reason you still could not hear me.  My daddy, also wore one, and he used to turn it off when he was napping or sleeping to conserve the battery."

"That is what I do too.  I had taken a nap just before we came here.  Sorry.  I could not figure out why you were a little persnikety.  Actually, I was beginning to think you were a nincompoop but thought I would just play it quiet."  He grinned.

"I was trying to tell you that you can lay down in here if you want and watch TV.  I have a bigger screen in the other room but that is where the dogs are."  I noticed a sigh of relief come over his face.  I told him to make himself comfortable and I would be back with some lunch in just a little bit.  I have some pasta sauce on the stove. I hope that will be okay.

I went back to Bella and Sweet Pea.  Grammy squealed for a taxi.  Ralph came running into the bedroom.  Sweet Pea jumped up and ran to lick his hand, Bella ran to the laundry room (the door was open) and started barking at the two squirrels now squealing on top of the cat tree on top of the dryer.  Ralph shouted, "Oh, God, not again.  Sweet Pea ran to rescue the squirrels, she got to the dryer just in time for Ralph to see both Oscar and Grammy jump on her back and then race back through the door and into the front bedroom.  Ralph, is holding his hands on either side of his head and shouting not again.  His eyes are squeezed shut. He is actually crying.  The squirrels are squeaking, Bella and Sweet Pea are both barking, Ralph is shouting..."Not Again."

I stomped my foot.  I was not going to allow this to get me discombobulated. I decided that I could not do one thing to stop what was happening so.... I sat down on the edge of the bed and turned on the TV.  I turned it up as loud as I could.  I just caught the news announce, "Hurricane update alter."  I flipped it to a recording of Gunsmoke.  Suddenly, Ralph stopped shouting, the squirrels stopped squealing, Bella stopped barking.  Ralph sat down in the chair in front of the TV, Sweet Pea came into the room with the two squirrels on her back.  Ralph, squeezed his eyes and started crying.  "What is wrong, Ralph?"  I touched his shoulder.

When I was drying out long time ago I had illusions.  I could really see things that were not there.  I saw snakes and scary things.  "Jane.. " He whispered as if the dogs were going to hear him, "I see squirrels."

I started laughing.  I got up and said, "Ralph, of course you do.  I have two pet squirrels."  His eyes got big and he looked again Sweet Pea, then at Oscar then at Grammy.  He sighed.  He put his hand out.  Oscar scampered up his arm to his elbow and then started chatting.  I translated, "He is introducing you to his wife, Grammy."

"How do you do, Grammy?"  Ralph seemed to take great delight in talking to the residents.  Bella came in the room and started to bark at the squirrels.  Ralph put up one finger, and said "No shenanigans."  Bella stopped instantly.  Ralph held Oscar and let Bella sniff him.  Then he stroked Oscar and talked softly to Bella.  He put Oscar on his leg and then stroked them both.  "Look, Jane... no hands."  I laughed.   Ralph was laughing.  He was thrilled to find out his illusions were real.  I felt safe enough to leave Ralph in charge of the fur people while I got lunch ready.

I did not realize I would be gone so long.  Ralph had apparently decided to nap while he waited.  I peeked into the front bedroom.  He had Sweet Pea on one side, Bella on the other and two squirrels curled up on his chest.

I decided to close the door and go have another cup of coffee.

Lunch could wait.   

Tags: Humor

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Oscar is a squirrel who was rescued by me when he was just a baby.  My cat, Ashley, raised him and they became friends.  When Ashley pass away I took over his training.  Teaching him to be a squirrel is another story.  Let me get you caught up on Oscar.

He and my 200 pound, ancient, gray hound Sweet Pea are best friends.  Sweet Pea moves very slowly these days and no long jumps on anything.  I have to feed her in bed.  Really.  She has a bowl on the bed that she lays down beside so she can lower her head into the bowl and eat.  She gets medication for her arthritis which does help when she has to get on the matteress under the ac unit in the front bedroom.  What I have told you so far lets you know fur people are special in this house.  I am the keeper not the queen of the house.  Ashley was queen.  Now, we have a new queen.

I was thrilled last Spring when I saw Oscar out playing with the squirrels in the yard.  He had finally been accepted.  I enjoyed watching him play squirrel games.  I was amazed at how many facial expressions and hand gestures they make that are almost human.  The storm that took out my power the last time... when we had the snakes... is the one that made Oscar move back in the house.

He had become accustom to riding on Sweet Pea's back.  I told you all about that one before.  Well, this is really my fault.  Precious, my 125 pound pit bull kept knocking the cat tree over when she stretched out on the bed.  She would push it with both front feet and it would go flying off the night stand and onto the floor.  I got tired of picking it up.  Throw it away?  Never.  Not in my nature.  You would not believe some of the stuff I have hung onto.  I have lost a lot over the years from one move or another.  But if I think there is a chance I might be able to use something again someday... I find a place for it until then.  Therefore... the cat tree was going to the laundry room.   There was no room on any of the shelves out there unless I empty the box with all those Christmas decorations.  We know that is not going to happen.  I could not make up my mind what to move or where to move it.  So, I put it down on top of the dryer until I could decide.

Oscar was on Sweet Pea's back when she passed by the dryer.  He spotted the cat tree.  He scampered to the top of Sweet Pea's head and took a flying leap to the top of the dryer.  He scampered all over the cat tree.  Now, he had seen it before but for some reason it was all new to him.  He got all excited running from the top plank to the cubby hole and back again.  It was all covered with carpet... posts and all.  Four posts hold up the patio and three more posts hold up the balcony.

Within the hour Oscar started bringing in twigs and snatching tuffs of fur from Sweet Pea.  Oscar kept Sweet Pea going back and forth to the yard all day.  She is shedding so it is very easy to get the fur.  I sweep up enough for a fur coat of my own every morning.  I placed a small bowl of water and a tiny plastic bowl of peanuts just outside the opening to the cubby hole.

I guess from a squirrel's point of view the cat tree was a real uptown property.  You could have knocked me over with a feather when I discovered a 'new' squirrel living in the cat tree.  I startled her as much as she startled me.  She instantly went into panic.  She ran from to the top patio back to the enclosed area then back out again.  I could tell she felt trapped.  I quickly left the room to watch from a distance through the open doorway.  She came out and looked everywhere.  She then started chatting loudly.

Suddenly, through the doggy door came Oscar.  He looked around and started squealing.  Sweet Pea came rushing in and put her nose down.  Oscar jump on board and walked four feet and stopped.  Sweet Pea waited patiently while Oscar jumped onto the dryer.  She starts in by hitting Oscar with her head, flickering her tail, waving her hands in the air and chatting at him so fast I was afraid she would bite her tongue.  Oscar lowered his head and allowed this behavior.  She then pinched his nose with her fingers and he squealed in pain.  That is when I stepped into the room.  I had some more nuts in my hand.  She disappeared into the cubby hole.  I stroked Oscar where she could see me being kind and handed him each peanut one at a time.  I could see only her head as it twitched back and forth following my hand.

This went on for a couple of hours.  Oscar would scream for his taxi.  The Shrew would come out of the cubby hole and hit Oscar and scream.  We all finally went out out side.  We ignored her.  It did not help.  I brought some rose buds in and put them in water.  I know how much squirrels like to smell things.  Sure enough she started sniffing the roses.  She figured out pretty quickly that a squeal of pain from Oscar would bring me into the room.  I am not sure yet if this is a good thing or a bad thing for Oscar.  I had a few more tricks up my sleeve to help this little she-devil.  I call her that because she is always raising .... the .. ah ah roof ... so-to-speak.

He has taught her how to use the kittybox.  When Oscar is outside he goes outside.  When he is inside he uses the kittybox.  Either that or when it rains.  He must hate going in the rain.  I have tried to put away the kittybox to force him to go outside.  He very carefully uses newspaper or a scrap of paper and places it where the kittybox was.   It is much easier to provide the kittybox.

I thought I would help out with the transportation problem.  Poor Sweet Pea seemed happy to help her friends but she was not getting all her much needed nap time.  I ordered a set of pet stairs over the internet.  That did help.  However, it was not quiet tall enough.  So, I go to my fix it drawer.

You know the drawer with the duct tape, shot gun shells, (I am from Texas), the hammer and the nails.  I had saved some small wood planks that were originally used to go around a flower bed.  I had a jig saw (surprised you on that one) and cut some in two pieces.  I nailed them into steps that would lead from the stairs to the top of the dryer.  I then got on the phone to ask a friend of mine for some carpet scraps to cover the steps.

The conversation about the carpet scraps went something like this.

"Bubba, I need some of your old carpet scraps for a project I am working on."

"Jane, so good to hear from ya'.  What you up to girl?"

"I am building some steps for Oscar's girlfriend to get in and out of bed."

"Oscar, who the heck is Oscar?  You got a tenant?  Is he so old he needs steps to get out of bed?  Oh, Jane you pour dear.  I will be glad to help you build anything your guys' need."

"Oscar is my pet squirrel.  He lives in a cat tree on top of the dryer.  He rides on Sweet Pea to get up and down.  I bought some pet steps to help him and his girlfriend get up and down without calling the dog.  I got the steps done.  All I need is the carpet to cover the wood steps."

I hear breathing.  "Bubba, Are you there?"

"Jane, do you know who the president is?  Do you know what day it is?  Jane, have you fallen lately?  Jane are you sure you are all right.  Jane you stay there...my wife and I will be right there."

About twenty minutes later...I had company.  Bubba and his wife Cherry were the wonderful people who helped me move here.  He had put my fence in for me and the doggy door.  They both came rushing up the steps.  I was watching from a lazy boy in the living room.  I stayed there and watched as Oscar opened the front door, Sweet Pea stepped back so they could come in across the threshold.  Oscar, on Sweet Pea's back chatted up a storm that translated into "welcome."

Bubba and Cherry closed the front door behind them and stood there with their mouth open as they observed Oscar.

"The President is Trump, it is Wednesday,  and I feel just fine.  Now, sit down and let me fill you in on a few things."  I got up and went to the kitchen and brought out three coffee cups along with the cream and sugar and a pot of coffee.  I sat back down and grinned at them.  I was thrilled I remembered to put my teeth in before they got here.

I eventually had them follow me to the laundry room to show them the problem.  It took very little for us to complete the little steps.  Bubba, whos real name is Jerry, really went into a tail spin when I told him about the snakes, getting bit, and the hospital.  Bubba, as everyone calls him, went to work to finish the steps and get them attached.  It was a very good job too.  I was thrilled.  They were amazed they had an audience the whole time they were there.  By the time they left I got hugs and well wishes and a promise they would be more diligent about checking in on me.

They had been gone for almost an hour when I heard that familiar squeal.  There she was on top of the new steps screaming for Oscar.  I know it was for Oscar because her taxi squeal is different.  Oscar scampered up the new steps (he had already tested them) met her where she was frozen.  He took her by the  hand and lead her down the steps all the way to the floor.  He then held the doggy door open for her to go through.  Instead she stomped over to the kittybox that Bubba had moved to work on the steps.  She did not want to go out at all.  It was a restroom call.  She did her business and then stomped over to the base of the steps.  She squealed.  Oscar scampered over to her... nuddged her with his head.  He put his little arms around her and snuggled his nose into her face.  He then turned and let out a squeal.  Sweet Pea arrived.  Oscar got on board and they left her standing at the base of the steps.  She stood there squealling her head off.  Oscar waved both hands up at me and chattered a bit.  I understood.  I moved the kittybox back to its corner of the shelf behind the dryer, refilled the water, and the roses.

I took a chance.  I lowered my hand, palm up, and put her on it.  I raised her up to the base of the second set up steps.  She jumped off.  She looked at me and did a little chatter.  She then scampered up the rest of the steps and back into the cubby hole.  Then one at a time I placed each nut right outside the cubby hole.  She would snatch it and duck back inside.  

A few minutes later she came out.  She did not say a word.  She sat there like a nice little shrew and waited for me to finish filling the food bowl and leave.  She came down the steps by herself twice already.  She seems to like her new highrise.  She has a different squeal for Oscar now.  He comes a running when she does it sweet.  He ignores anything else.  She is learning.  I know she is.  I just thought of something.  Maybe I am the one who was trained.  I am the one who watches the clock to make sure all little bowls are full and the kittybox clean by 11 AM because that is the time she wakes up.  I wonder which shrew is being trained?

I still have not come up with a name but she really needs one.  Anyone got an idea?

Tags: Fur People

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I once stood at my grandmother's side, holding her hand. We were standing on the steps of our little church after services. A new member of church had been introduced to the congregation. An older man who had been a sea captain in the navy and had retired. He had been glancing and smiling at my grandmother all through the service. She had paid him no mind but it did make me curious.

My grandmother had red hair and very blue eyes that could go soft or cold depending upon her mood. We had been visiting with some of the other members of the church as we exited. We made it almost to the first step of the church when the man came rushing up behind us and tapped my grandmother on the shoulder. She turned around. She smiled very sweetly and introduced herself and then me. The man said hello to me and then proceeded to take her hand, bend down, and kissed it.

"Wooo, said the man; you smell good for an old lady."

Grandmother tightened her grip on my hand and replied. "You can go straight to hell in a hand basket. But first I am going to give you a piece of my mind. Don't ever refer to me as an old anything. Anybody that would say such a thing, at the drop of a hat. I don't even know you, and you just insult me like that. You are nothing but an old goat yourself. Now, you son of a Siberian Sea Cook; leave me alone." We instantly turned back around and hurried towards the parking lot. I glanced back and the man was still standing there with his mouth open. I glanced up at my grandmother's face and it was very red. She was muttering "old woman" over and over under her breath.

At this point in my training I was still not sure about hell. I had learned it was some place "down" somewhere. I had reasoned that it was not a good place because grandmother never sent anyone there who was not the Son of a Siberian Sea Cook. This was her favorite name for people she did not like. I kept quiet. I had learned to keep silent during one of these episodes. I thought about what she had said to him. I had no idea what a hand basket was but had decided, if I was going to go to hell, would not a basket be a good way to travel. Tells you what I knew. I wondered if he turned into a goat when he got to hell or if grandmother needed glasses. I did not know what to think about a piece of her mind. She was always giving those away.... mostly to the Son of Siberian Sea cooks.

Grandmother told my mother about her meeting with the man. That is when we found out he was a retired captain in the navy. I tried to make my grandmother feel better. "You do smell awfully good." She smiled sweetly to me and gave me a hug. I decided maybe it made a difference who said it. Then I said, "Maybe all he knows how to do is cook Siberian Seas." The spell was broken. Everyone laughed and grandmother's sweet smile came back. I was so happy.

This memory came back to me after one of the wildlife people who had come to do another snake round up had gotten rude with me.

He was greeted at the door by Oscar. Without so much as a how do you do, he picked up a broom I had leaned against the wall to answer the door and proceeded to try and hit Oscar with it.

He yelled, "Don't worry, I will get this vicious squirrel."

I tried to grab the broom and missed. I yelled, "Stop, that's Oscar."

"A squirrel? You have a squirrel as a pet?" Then he suddenly felt the broom handle being tugged as he realized Sweet Pea had grabbed it and was wiggling it out of his hand. Then under his breath, as he sat down, (I had signaled for him to have a seat), I heard him say, you ole ding bat."

I smiled very sweetly as I said, "Now, watch." Sweet Pea lowered her head. Oscar scampered up her nose and onto his back. They then walked over to where he was sitting. Sweet Pea licked his hand. He instantly grabbed a tissue and started wiping his hand. "Get away from me you mangy dog." I then had a flash back of my grandmother on the church steps.

I said, "You can go straight to hell in a hand basket but first I am going to give you a piece of my mind. You are the snake, you don't need to look for any. To come into my home and at the drop of a hat you insult me, start trying to kill my pets, and then have the gall to call me a ding bat." I grinned then said. " You know, all it would take is for me to give one hand gesture, and you might get hurt." His eyes darted to Oscar still sitting on Sweet Pea's back.  He did not see the humor or the sweetness the animals were trying to show him.  It was really beyond his comprehension.  I suddenly felt sorry for him.

Then, I saw him looking to see if I had on hearing aids. He was beginning to realize he was not the one with the upper hand here. I said. "There is one more member of my family you need to meet. I cracked the bedroom door just enough for him to get a good look. "I want you to meet Precious," who was doing her best  "I am a 125 pound pit bull bombshell"..dance and barking, "Come on in.. I have not had lunch yet."

I closed the bedroom door and then turned to the guy and gestured to the front door. I smiled and in a calm voice said, "I look like a nice old lady... but I am not. I learned from the best and I have gotten pretty good at it myself." I then thought about my Christian upbringing. I stopped my anger. I looked at him and said, "I don't know if you are having a bad day or what. Granted you don't often come in to find a squirrel in the house and I appreciate your efforts to spare me any danger. I think the best thing for you to do is think about what you would think if someone treated your grandmother the way you treated me. Would you call her a ding bat?"

I noticed he was shaking his head. "She is a ding bat too. All old people are." I then smiled and said I wish for you a very long life and someone just like you as a caregiver. He stopped for a second and I could tell he understood what I was saying. I added, "Don't be surprised if the term 'ole goat' does not come up during that time." I could see him shaking his head as he headed for his car.

I called the company after he left and was assured the young man would not be returning. Apparently, I was not the only one who had complained about his manner. I was the only one he was still talking about when he returned to the office. The lady on the phone said, "He wanted to know was a Son of a Siberian Sea Cook was." We both laughed.

I was always taught to respect my elders. You would be surprised how many young whipper snappers I have had to teach since I retired.

Tags: Memories

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I am not quite sure how old I was when the quest for finding my talent began.  I think it really started, in my mind, one night when we were all watching the Miss America pageant on TV.

Each girl would come out and do something to showcase her talent.  It was easy for my younger sister.  She sang about everything.  Singing came natural to her. When I tried to sing the dogs would howl and people around me would scrunch up their faces and put their hands over their ears.  I never tried for a note I could not crack.  It seemed I was destined not to sing.  My parents did not give up.

I had watched one girl play the fiddle.  I wanted to do that.  A short time later I was enrolled in a music course with a music teacher and a rented violin.  I was learning all about how to hold the instrument and how to stroke the stings with the bow.  I was making progress until a little boy also enrolled in the class.  He seemed to think it was his duty to  pull my pony tail and constantly try to annoy me during our lesson.  I had warned him several times to stop his unwanted behavior but he did not listen.  My violin lessons came to an abrupt stop when I smashed the instrument over the little boy's head.

Next, my father brought home a base fiddle which I proceeded to step into while trying to get it to balance.   Oh, yes I did also take piano.  I could not pick up the instrument and smash anyone with it or step into it to hurt it.  I learned several songs.  Our recital was interesting.  We had two sets of songs to play.  One set for an early show and then another set for a later show.  I got the two mixed up so I was playing one set while everyone else was playing the second.  You can well imagine how that went... Everyone stopped and I finished the show, did my bow, and left.  I was the only one delighted that I had not missed a single note.  I think my timing may have been off though.  Both performances finished about ten minutes earlier than they were supposed to so the acts following us were not quite ready.  My parents were asked to not renew my lessons.

The next step... dance.   It was decided that maybe my talents might be more along the line of dance.  I took ballet.  I loved it.  I got one of my childhood nick names during this period.  I fell beautifully.  I could leap into the air but always landed a little off center.  I could twirl but stopped when my face hit the floor.  My grandmother used to say I was the most graceful dead swan on the stage.  I could not keep time so I was always either ahead or behind the music.    Then we got into tap.  That was a blast.  I loved tap dancing.  I could click along with the best of them.  I got so excited about tap dancing I put taps on my hands and would go into hand stands and click across the floor on my hands.  Not exactly called for in any routine.

Finally, we got into gymnastics.  Gymnastics was my saving grace so to speak. I loved it.  I could twirl, do splits, tumble and toss my body anywhere I wanted it to go.  I could do it on uneven parallel and balance beams.  I could do cartwheels, hand stands, and back bends that left everyone saying, Wow.  I had found my talent.  I sure was glad.  We were running out of things to try.  I had begun to think I did not have a talent.

Grandmother would always say I had hidden talents.  You don't know many times I would just sit and try to figure out where I had hidden them.  I had learned to draw but never considered that a talent.  It was just something anyone could learn to do.  I learned to paint but again something anyone could do.  I did mine on my bedroom walls.  I would draw murals on one wall of the bedroom I shared with my sister.  It would be of some place I had seen in a magazine.  It would always have animals in it and some nature trail of some sort.

I had thought once when I was thinking about trying to find a job.  What would I put down as a talent?  The idea of putting down that I could meow like a cat, bark like a dog, or chatter like a squirrel did not seem to fit any job description.  Knowing how to destroy musical instruments also did not seem like a good thing.  Good at tumbling and gymnastics... only if I was going to join the circus.  Which for a while, I thought, at least an option.

I had no talents growing up.  I never developed one.  I even took choir later in high school and was told I would get an A for the course if I would not show up.  My grandmother use to tell me I had an ability to make people laugh.  Again, that was something she taught me to do.
When I retired my gymnastic talents also retired.  I still love good music to listen to.  Music played a bit part of my life.  Two of my husbands were very talented musicians.  I appreciated the beauty of a perfectly cut gem stone because my father had taught me.  I learned to help others see their own talents and develop them.

Maybe working with children with disabilities was the right thing for me because I could see in them the talents no one else could see.  The hidden talents.

We all have them.  They come with compassion for our fellow man.  The best part of hidden talents is you can take them with you when you retire.  You can develop an insight to something funny one day and something useful the next.  Helping others see themselves as productive and viable; takes a talent.  It is not a talent you can see.  Teaching is also a talent you cannot see but must be observed.

Relish every moment that shows you someone's hidden talents.  Then make sure to tell them what you saw.  Acknowledgment is the food hidden talents need to grow.

Tags: Children Home Memories

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It all started when I was foolishly trying to rush to the front door. I do not have a door bell but saw through the window someone was on my porch.

I do not open the front door without closing the dogs off into the back of the house. I had been playing with the dogs and Oscar in the living room. I saw visitors come up the steps. I quickly ushered the dogs into the back bedroom. I grab my face mask, and start to the front door. I hear the knock and tell them, "Just a minute." I glanced around to locate Oscar. No sign of him. I shrugged my shoulders and decide he is in the back with the dogs.

I turned to move a box (delivered earlier in the morning) out of the way. The weight of the box surprised me. I tripped and fell... landing on my knees. I grab the corner of a flimsy little table to try and pull myself up.. it breaks. I grab the cheap plastic chair just right to be wrong and it collapses with me back on my knees. "Come in." I yelled.

Two kids (in their 30's) come though the door and look surprised. "Oh, Lady. We did not mean to disturb your prayers." He turns to the woman and points at me. "Look, she is on her knees praying."

I started laughing. I look at this woman who is now holding her hands in front of her as if she is going to start praying. "You are right. I am praying someone will come along and help me up."

"WHAT?" The poor confused man looked at me. I pointed to broken table and the broken chair. "You have been praying for someone to come help you get up?... WOW." I pointed to the walker behind the front door.

"Please, can you get that and hold it while I use it to get up?" He grabs the walker. I pull myself up. "How can I help you two?" I knew they needed something. They did not just come by to help me up.

I am laughing because of the whole situation. I motioned for them to be seated. Both sit on the love seat opposite me. Suddenly.... Oscar pops up, runs up my chair and starts chattering at me. They are surprised. I start to explain. They explain they had come to let me know they were conducting a virtual church service for those who are shut inside. They give me the card with the information on it. I said my good byes. I scratched my head thinking that young people don't have a sense of humor. Everything is serious.

As I closed the door I hear the woman telling her companion. "That woman is powerful. The animals even come to her. She was on her knees praying. Wow. Powerful. We saw it first hand."

I was trained to see the funny side of things by my grandmother.  It is an awesome habit.  It can bring you enormous pleasure when you least expect it.  Some little something will remind you of it and you will giggle without warning.  Laughter is good for what ever hurts you.  It makes what ever burden  a little lighter.  Age or I should say life's experiences teach us there are some things that are not so serious.  It also teaches us that it is okay to laugh, you can always cry later.  I do find that younger people do not seem to know that almost everything has a funny side and a serious side.  I watched these two young people walking to their car so serious and then I just said a little prayer for them.

I whisper, "Father... open their eyes so that they might see the funny."

Tags: Humor

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I had overheard my grandmother make the remark that men sat on their brains.  This made me worry every time my dad passed gas, my sister sat on his lap, or his bottom was in any danger.  The adults had no idea how worried I was.

It was about ten o'clock at night.  My daddy had been working late.  He was a gemologist and diamond expert.  He was quiet often called in to appraise stones from private collections as well as corporations like jewelry stores.  He always had some industrial grade diamonds in his pockets.  Each one was cut with a different cut.  He used them to educate those he was appraising for as well as stone cutters he constantly worked with.  Daddy also came home with some very large collections.  We had become used to the routine when he came home.  He carried a pistol in his back pocket just as a precaution.  We all had to sit very still until Daddy came in and went and put his pistol and his inventory into the safe and came back into the room.  Then we could run and hug him.

I am sure Daddy being deaf contributed to the problems we were in store for.  He did not hear the man pull in behind him on the driveway.  Nor did he hear him get out of his car or follow him up onto the porch.   Daddy could hear with his hearing aid on but most the time he read lips so did not need it at home as much.  He had already pulled the ear pieces out of his ears and they were dangling from wires that led to the little box inside his shirt.  The confusion that followed would be explained for many years to prove Grandmother was almost always right.

My mother once described the evening as so confusing she was ready to put Daddy out and go to bed with the cat.  Everything happened at once.

My mother, my grandmother and I were all in the front living room watching TV.  Mother and I were in one corner opposite to the front door.  Mother was in a chair and I was on the floor rubbing her feet.  Grandmother was on the sofa on the opposite side of the room and to the left of the front door.  We were actually expecting Daddy to come home the next morning so were all surprised when he came through the door.

A man who had followed him home pushed Daddy through the rest of the doorway which made Daddy trip as he grabbed his pistol.  The key chain was attached to a belt loop and the pistol got caught on the trigger.  The gun fired.  The bullet when through my Daddy's bottom down his leg and into the bottom of the intruder who was now on the floor.  He had lost his balance when pushing my Daddy which resulted in getting stuck on the key which was still in the door.  I screamed my head off.  My mother screamed, my grandmother got mad.  She got up... all 4'11" was shouting at the intruder, "You Son of a Siberian Sea Cook; What the Hell do you think you are doing?"

I saw the blood.  I scream, "Daddy's brains are coming out.  He shot his brains out.  Daddy, why did you shoot your brains out?"  The man really looked at me like I had lost my mind.  I looked at him and said, "He shot yours out with the same bullet."  My mother, ran over to Daddy, and grabbed the phone.  She joined my grandmother in anger as she called the police.

The man started to get up and run back out the still open door but his shoes slipped on the puddle of blood now on the floor.  He lands on his knee, yells in pain and grabs his bottom.  My Daddy had hit his head on the fireplace and was a little foggy.  I was so afraid his brains were leaking out.  Both men were bleeding.  What followed was most confusing.

The man still had this hand up like it was a pistol.  Grandmother, said "Why don't you just blow on it and put it away, before it goes off."  The man looked at his hand and realized the finger he had put in my daddy's back was still pointing.  He immediately put it down.  He moaned and looked up at my grandmother as she began to unleash her Irish.  "What do you think you are doing?"

"I was going to push the old geezer down and grab the diamonds and take off.  What do ya' think, lady?"  The man made a bad choice smarting off to my grandmother.  She stood over him, all 4' 11" and she said, "Well, that plan has turned into a real pain in the a.."

"Mother."  My mother said.   Grandmother glanced over to see me listening to every word.

"Ah, Ah,  a pain in your petunia."  I would like to add at this point that from this moment on (in our family) the word for bottom became petunia.  I was always getting my petunia swatted.

  I was wondering if grandmother was going to make him go out and pick out a switch.  The man was bleeding all over, just like Daddy.  He started to say something to Grandmother, "Hay, Lady... "  Grandmother stormed off to the front bedroom.  She came back in just a few seconds with a pearl handled revolver.  The man let go of his bottom and held up both hands.  "Please, Lady... You gonna shoot me?"

"No, I just want you to see who you are dealing with.  This is the gun my mother used to carry in her garter.  I am not some wall flower ready to let you harm one hair on ANYONE in my family.  The guy started crying.  Now, my angry grandmother went into the front bedroom again.  When she came back the gun was gone and she brought a small pillow for the guy's head.  She patted his head once he lowered it on the pillow.  Then she asked, "Does your mother know what you do for a living?"   The shame came over the man's face.  "What is her phone number?"  I am no longer scared but I am really beginning to worry about seeing someone's brains come out any minute.   Grandmother calls the guys mother.  She brings him the phone after she tells her what her son has been doing.  About that time the police show up.  

The police arrived and were astonished at what they walked into.  My grandmother had used a robe-tie to tie the hands of the intruder and given him a pillow for his head.  He kept apologizing for all the problems and for hurting Daddy.  The last thing he expected was to get shot in the bottom.  All he wanted were some diamonds.  He had followed Daddy home without thinking there may be a family there.  Grandmother shook her head.  "It is supposed to be two birds with one stone not two butts with one bullet."  Grandmother as usual was trying to see the funny side of it all.  She had been telling my Daddy for months to get rid of the gun because he would get hurt.  Daddy assured her he knew how to handle a gun.  At this point we no longer believed him.

When the police came through the door I shouted, "Daddy shot his brains out!!"  Daddy's head had cleared a bit but he had a very nasty bump on his head.  The pistol had been turned over to the police.  I saw all the blood on the floor where Daddy had been laying and just kept saying, "Daddy, shot his brains out."  Daddy started laughing.  The police man was so surprised.  "Why are you laughing?"  He said.  "What can I say?  I shot my brains out."  He started laughing again.  The officer scratched his head and said, "I have got to find out what is so funny.  Do you mind if I go with you in the ambulance?"  He did too.  Two other officers stayed and got statements from the rest of us.  I still remember hearing Daddy laughing as they loaded him in the ambulance.  The wound made it difficult for Daddy to sit for a while.  He had stitches.  The intruder had to have the bullet removed.  None of the wounds were critical.

Later that night after Daddy had gotten his two holes stitched up and everyone was home.  After all the lights were out and the house was quiet.  I heard grandmother quietly crying under her covers.  Like always, she never went to pieces until the crisis was over.  She was still crying when I fell asleep.    

Daddy never again carried a pistol not even in his back pocket.  From that point on he shipped all inventories he was responsible for through insured carriers.

It took some convincing but my grandmother and mother finally convinced me that the blood had nothing to do with the lose of my father's brains.  I was so glad to learn my Daddy's brains were in his head and not in his bottom.  I was still not sure everyone was telling me the whole story so I  remained cautious when sitting on his lap.

The trial was interesting.  The intruder was ask if he had any remorse for what he had attempted to do?  He looked straight at my grandmother.  "Yes, but it was not from getting shot in the butt.  It was because that little woman right there (he pointed to grandmother) shot me in the heart with some good common sense.  I will serve what ever time I have coming but I will never again try to take something that not mine.  Believe me judge, I am more afraid of that little Irish woman than I am of a bullet.  She found out and called my mother.  Yes, judge I have a lot of remorse.  I am truly sorry."

Grandmother nodded with a sweet smile.  Patted the hand of a woman sitting next to her who also smiled and nodded.  When ever my grandmother told this story to anyone she says it is the day her son in law shot his brains out.  It became a family giggle.

Tags: Memories Family

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I thought I was going to add something to the "sweet" column of my "EST" listings. I had added a few after getting home from the er and getting my electric back on and of course the snake round up. Then I glance over as I hear Sweet Pea coming into the office. I spot Oscar scampering in behind her.

Sweet Pea stopped just before coming through the door. She lowered her long gray hound snout to the floor. Oscar jumped on and scampered up her nose to the top of her head then Sweet Pea came in the door. Oscar then settled in to ride on Sweet Pea's back. I had seen them riding together before but had never witnessed the mounting so to speak. Sweet Pea is so gentle it is amazing. Sweet Pea comes further into the room and nudges me at my computer chair. Oscar is now standing on Sweet Pea's back waving his hands at me chatting up a storm. This means.... "get up and do something Marshall Dillion... we need you." I learned a long time ago that the dear heaven father sometimes communicates with fur people when he needs to get our attention.

I get up and wave my hands towards the door which is sign language for ''Show me." Sweet Pea turns and guides me through the door. Oscar is riding sitting up with his tail flickering. We get to the doggy door.  Sweet Peas stops, lowers her head.  Oscar scampers down her nose to the floor.  They go through the doggy door one at a time. You would think Sweet Pea was born with a squirrel on her back.  I decided it would be okay if I used the Marshall's door.

 am scared because I think it might be another snake so I stop and grabbed a pillow case on the way past the dryer. Then I thought I might need a weapon so I stop again to snatched the hammer on the tool shelf. I opened the back door. My two guides are waiting for me at the base of the steps. Oscar is jumping up and down chattering... "What took you so long?" I am sure I got that right... it seemed to fit. Anyway, I continue to follow them.

They were headed for the fallen tree trunk. This is the one that was on my power line. The electric company had sawed off the branches that had held it there and it had fallen here in the yard. The power line was working and all looked fine. I continued to follow. Oscar suddenly jumped from Sweet Pea's back to the sawed off branch. He scampers towards the end and starts chattering and waving his hands. I can't see at first then I hear squeals. I look and the branch had fallen and another branch that was on it had broken and landed just right to block off the hole in the fallen trunk. From what I could see it looked like three little squirrels were trapped inside. Marshall Dillon went to work. It is my job to protect Dodge City... also known as Jane's backyard. I do not own a saw. I find a large flat headed screw driver.

I start chipping away at the broken branch with the screw driver and the hammer. Just as I start getting to the point where I can finish the brake and pull the branch out I spotted the body of a dead snake. I gasp.. when I first saw it then sighed when I realized it was dead. I snapped the last piece of the broken branch and out they came. It was like watching the tiny car at the circus... the one with all the clowns in it. Squirrels kept coming out.

On my way back into the house I thought again about the snake. The tree had fallen on the snake that means it was out here after the snake round up earlier that day. The snake's mouth was open which means it was about to bite something or had bitten something when it died.  The tree was not freed from the power line until almost midnight when I had returned from the ER. I had the dogs closed up inside the house until after the power was restored.  I wonder if the guy from the electric company had a problem?  I thought it would be a good idea to just check. I called the electric company. It took me over an hour to track down the name of the guy who came out that night to cut the tree down and restore my power. I asked if he was on duty anywhere and was told he was in the hospital. I asked it he was being treated for a snake bite?

A lot of phone conversations later I was able to talk to a nurse working on his case. I told her that a rattle snake was found where the man had been around midnight that night. She gasp. He had been very sick and his organs were shutting down but they had no known reason why. I told her it was a diamond back rattle snake. They checked his ankles and found the bite marks. They gave him snake bite treatments and his improvement started within the hour. He was going to live. I also notified the game and wildlife people to let them know we needed another round up. I think back on the What If story and decided I could add this to one of the what if's. If I had not listened to Oscar.... Did you read what I said... listened to Oscar. Oscar is a squirrel!! One of these days I will have to tell him that. This still has to be on my EST listing.  I wonder if I should tell the man he was actually saved by a squirrel riding an old gray hound... nah.  No one will believe that one but me.

I look down now, rescue complete,  to find Oscar curled atop and Sweet Pea napping together and think... I have been through several "sad-est", "funni-est", "long-est", "short-est" and even "crazi-est" times in my "est" listing. What I am looking at right now has to be at the top of my "Oscar-est". Sweet Pea-est? Cutest?'' Take your pick. I know I have been through one of my: "Scari-est" times to get to one of the "Sweet-est". What is at the top of your "EST" listing?

Tags: Memories Fun Animals

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When one reaches a certain age they look at things as either a nightmare or an adventure.  Climbing stairs, getting up and down, and even walking.  What happens when it is both? It all started when I heard the dogs barking outside. It was a different kind of bark. Not the someone just crossed the street bark but a someone is in the yard bark. Our recent yard parties with raccoon made me go to the yard to check. Once we even had a stray dog get in the yard so this was a necessary trip.  My portable oxygen machine was not working so I had been restricted to the house for some time. Venturing out into the yard without oxygen might prove disastrous. Little did I know... disaster is exactly what was waiting for me.

The dogs were both barking at the opening that leads under the house. I really thought it must be another raccoon. I could not see inside so I slowly got down on the ground on my hands and knees. This is a wonder in itself because I had convinced myself this was something I could not do. Getting on all fours with two hip implants and the two knees that did not work well was a challenge. I had to check anyway. Please understand what I am about to tell you did happen but I had no idea I knew how to do what I did.

I put my left hand just inside the opening so I could lower my head and peek inside. Yikes, instant pain as I jerked my hand back. It was like someone had taken a small wire and heated it red hot and just stuck it on my wrist. The was a small snake now attached to my wrist. I was instantly angry, in extreme pain, and in shock all at the same time. I let fear take over for me. I amazed myself. I pinched the snake just behind its head and got up, holding it up so the dogs would not snatch it. I carried it into the house and opened a pillow case and lowered it inside. I twisted the case. I then screamed my head off. I could not breath, I was huffing and puffing and actually saying words I did not know I even knew. It was definitely "Son of a Siberian Sea Cook" time. I scrambled around to find my cell phone. I called 911 for help. I felt like I was fighting time.  I expected to drop dead any moment.  I wanted my dogs safe.  My arm hurt so badly.  It felt like flames should be coming off it. The burning and swelling were getting more intense by the second.

The pain kept the tears running down my face so I could not see very well. While waiting for the ambulance I changed my underwear, because that is what ladies do before they go out, and filled up the dog's water bowl, made sure there was enough food, and started looking for my teeth. Never did find them. I did make myself go to the kitchen and take the blade out of my box cutter and cut the two fang marks deeper so it would bleed better...I did a good job on that one. I was bleeding all over the place.

The EMS got there. I had a make shift mask on as I opened the front door. I was huffing and puffing holding my hand up. They instantly go for the oxygen. I wave my arm and wrist in their face and the guy actually moved my wrist wrapped with a bloody paper towel... out of his way to put a proper mask on me. I am trying to catch my breath and talk at the same time. The other attendant said, there was a call about a snake bite not respiratory arrest. I once again waved my hand.

I think that young people conclude that the minute the hair starts turning white... the brains start leaking out. He said with a smirk (not expecting an answer) and asked; "What kind of snake?" I had an instant flashback. I almost went into orbit when I realized I had gotten up off the ground, with a snake in my fingers and made it into the house. I had not fallen, I had not stumbled, all I did was string along every curse word I ever heard into one long whisper. I yelled for help but whispered the curse words. I had to laugh at myself... this is one time it would be okay not to be such a lady but ... what the Hell, some habits can't be broken.

I held up my wrist and shook it at the attendant who was trying to tighten my face mask. I held up one finger to both of them. I got up went into my bedroom, got the pillow case, and returned to my two guests. They could hear the rattle. I grinned ...they looked at one another and decided maybe the old broad ain't lost it all yet. I lowered my masked and I grinned before I realized I had not put my teeth in. I thought to myself, "Boy, that must have been real pretty."

The attendant went into instant panic as he started taking off the blood soaked paper towel around my wrist. I could talk by then but wanted him to concentrate on what he was doing. For once in my life... I shut up. I guess this was my new experience for the day...no; that would have to be the snake bite. The ride to the hospital was fairly quiet, with the rattle snake, still in the pillow case played its song.

We go to the hospital. Everyone is running around dressed like they are ready to hold up the next stage coach. (I watch a lot of Westerns). The pain was getting much worse. It took my breath away. I had tears coming down my face I could not stop. I could feel my skin on fire and getting more intense by the minute.

Everyone has four words to say. "What kind of snake?" I would answer, "Rattle."  Their reply, "Really?"  You would think they would talk to each other. Finally someone came in who knew what kind of snake it was. The shot was as painful as the snake bite. I did have a transfusion. I had lost a little too much blood. (I told you it was a mess.) My vital signs were coming back to normal.

Fear of staying in the hospital came over me.  I was afraid of the virus going around.  I was also worried about my dogs.  Finally, they agreed to let me go back home. I had no car, no one to call, and no ride home. What was I going to do? I thought about it while they were getting my paperwork together. I had one person after another come in and chat with me. Some wanted a little blood, some checked my blood pressure, some checked my temperture.  Everyone wanted something.  When the guy asked for the urine test, I told him... I promise you... I am not pregnaunt.  Then I decided to visit with each one. I I started telling funny stories and gave each visitor at least one giggle before they left. I told them I would not stay in there overnight. I had been virus free all this time I was not going to press my luck. I was more afraid of the virus than anything else at this point. My wrist had swollen and I was in extreme, intense pain but, I wanted to go home.

The last time I came to an ER I had my lap top and was able to read stories to the other patients in the Critical Care section. This time everyone looked like bandits and you could not tell if someone was smiling without watching their eyes. That is okay, they could not tell how many chins I had with the neck piece I had on either. They could not tell if my teeth were in or not so I think all in all it was a good thing. Finally, a little ole gal came in to once again check my vitals. I decided I needed to add some laughter to my disaster. I started telling one line jokes. The nurse laughed. I got her laughing about one of my Hamlet stories and found out she lived just down the road from were I lived. I told her about my problem with getting a ride home. She volunteered her services. Her shift was almost over. I got my ride home. How did I know that this was just the first half of my adventure?

The wild life department had been called and the neighborhood was swarming with people looking under and in the vacant houses in the neighborhood for rattle snakes. This is not something common for this area of East Texas. The question came up of how they got there. I watched in amazement as cloth sacks were being carried everywhere. I had been bitten by a diamond back rattler almost 3 feet long with three rattles.

They did find several more at other houses. They found a six foot snake in the commode of one of the houses... Yikes, how would you like to sit on that one? Another was found inside one of the bath tubs. They come up through the pipes. That is why they came to the surface of course to mate. It is the season.

I did find out how they ended up in the neighborhood. A kid, the one that wanted to mow my grass, the grand son of the town gossip, the lady my story "Tattle Tales" is about. He had two pet, I did say pet, rattle snakes that had the fangs removed. That was fine, but when they got out and were no longer kept separate.... they had babies all over the place. The babies had all the necessary equipment to be deadly.

Snakes eat rodents. Anyway, I am sure they were  after the baby raccoon that had been out. The kid thought there would be no problem since they had no fangs. The one I got was almost 3 feet long and had three rattles. That means it had shed its skin three times. It has nothing to do with age since a snake sheds its skin several times a year. They come out in the spring to mate and have more babies by summer when it is hot. Every year in Texas we have the big rattle snake round up but it is usually done in West Texas were it is hotter and has more snakes. The authorities said they will be around once a month to double check to make sure no one laid (they bury them) eggs. We don't need a new batch popping up. The smaller snakes or younger snakes has a more concentrated venom so that is one reason it was so painful.

It felt good to be home but, I was exhausted with pain. I could not get comfortable or sleep. I watched TV as best I could. I tried to read but the constant tearing kept me from being able to focus.

I had almost become accustomed to the intense pain in my hand and arm. I had been up all night. A storm started coming through the neighborhood. I had thought how wonderful we had the snake round up before the storm. The mud would have made finding them almost impossible. Sweet Pea was hiding her head under the bed (only her head) and Precious was very close to me. She still was upset about me being out of sight for so long.

My hand and arm were killing me. The pain was almost unbearable. I could not help but cry. The burning, stinging and in ability to really move my arm much made it all worse.  I could not eat because the anti venom made me sick at my stomach. I was very unhappy and in a great deal of pain. I could not sleep. I could not type or play on the computer. I got the TV going and it helped a little. I was up all night but exhausted from the pain the lack of sleep. I finally turned off the TV and thought I could at least read stuff on the computer. I came in the computer room about 7AM. It was thundering outside so I thought I might lose my Internet any time. I kept going trying to read emails, etc. Suddenly, at 7:14AM the power went out. The entire house went blank. This has happened before so, I did not worry. I went back in the bedroom to open the curtains to let some day light in. I talked to the dogs for a while. I waited, I waited, and I waited. When I got through I waited, I waited, and I waited some more. I finally decided to look outside. I glanced at the motel behind my house..it's lights were on. I went out on the front porch and glanced down the street. The signal light at the intersection a block away was working and the gas station on the corner had their lights working. I thought, 'Why me?'. I turned while standing on my front porch. I glanced at my back yard. OMG!!!

I quickly went back into the house. I was beginning to get winded. It was almost ten o'clock now. I had been without oxygen since 7:14. I made my way into the laundry room and out onto the back porch. I looked up just in time. A huge tree had its trunk split and half of it was laying across my power line. When I looked up I saw sparks flying off of it. I went into instant panic.

I quickly shewed the dogs back into the house and blocked off the doggy door. I went back in the house. Who do I call, how do I call? My land line went out with the electricity. My head was getting lighter. My hand was killing me.  I suddenly remembered my cell phone.  I raced into where I had left it and yeah!! it was working. I called a friend first who was not answering but I left a message. I stood there on the porch and watched as the sparks shot out from the power line. I just knew my little frame house was going to catch on fire.

My fingers knew what to do. I left my little finger in charge since it seemed to be the only one with any good control. It dialed 911 and put the phone on speaker. I had to talk fast because this phone does not like me and hangs up on people. I gave them my address told them about the power line and the sparks. They asked me the name of my electric company. I did not know. Over a year ago I set it up on auto pay... I had no idea who they were.  That is why I called my friend to tell them to call the electric company.  I did not know who they were or their phone number.  About ten of the longest minutes went by. The police showed up.. I thought to myself that the officer was here to 1) make sure I was not nuts, 2) arrest the tree, 3) show the electric company where I lived, or 4) see if he could help. It turned out to be 4. When he got to the porch the electric company arrived, by the time they made it to the driveway, my meals on wheels people arrived with my lunch. Yes, it is now close to noon. I have been without oxygen since 7:14AM. I had been sitting on a chair on the front porch waiting for help to arrive. I started to get up to greet the officer and fell backwards. I caught myself but I scared him. He started to ask about my left hand bundled all up and I said, "You should have seen the other guy." We both laughed. I started making jokes about inviting him to a dance and him discovering he was not the only one I had invited. Within a few minutes two more officers showed along with the fire department. Now, I had a whole yard full of people. The barking from the front window drew everyone's attention to Precious.

Precious is a 125 pound pit bull. She was a gift from the Chief of Police shortly after I moved into my home. That is another story all together. She was standing on with her back feet on a bed but her front feet were on the top of the window ac unit. The police, fireman, and electric company guys could not see that part. All they saw was a window from bottom to top... DOG!! A HUGE BARKING, SNARLING, BARKING, GROWLING, BARKING DOG! She got bigger when I called her name. She got excited then. She started jumping at the window. She acted like she wanted to eat the first person through the door.

My breathing had gotten so bad the officer called the ambulance. Within minutes the party had changed. Now, we had even more (2 more) afraid of Precious. I tried to tell them it was all show. Precious was more convincing than I was. The ER people check my blood pressure ...it was off the charts. My oxygen level was extremely low. I told them where my portable oxygen unit was. It was in the room with Precious... Right. They started asking me then the name of the president, my birthday, what day it was? I think it is a problem with all medical people. You would think they would write the answers down. Everyone of them ask the same questions. Not only that... in a minute or two they ask all over again. I was doing fine till we got to my social security number. I told the guy he was getting too personal. I had been cracking jokes and making light of the whole thing to keep the party going. I mean just look at it. I am an old woman sitting on a front porch with one hand bound up like a boxing glove, no teeth in and I have 3 police officers, 3 from the fire department, 3 from the electric company and 2 from the emergency services to entertain. I had to entertain ten men and one other woman. I had no power so offering them refreshments was no good. Besides I did not have that many cups or glasses. I did not have enough of anything else to share so... I had to rely on my stash of giggles.

I had everyone laughing until finally they decided someone was going to have to introduce themselves to Precious. The police decided the female fire fighter would have the best chance. She was able to retrieve the portable unit. It was drained and had dead batteries. The oxygen bottle (another trip into the room with Precious) was empty. It was decided that I was in respiratory distress so we had to leave. Another trip inside the house to get my wallet. The third trip was the winner. The lady came out covered in muddy paw prints all over her nice clean uniform. She was wiping her face to get the dog drool off. She announced to the big brave men.. that Precious was harmless as long as you stand still and let her just love you. I looked at the guys and said, "See, I told ya. She is a great watch dog. She will watch you do anything you want."

I was then put into an ambulance leaving the fire department, the electric company and the police in charge. I was on my way to the ER... again.

One thing for sure about medical people. None of them seem to know who the president is. It is amazing. I had answered the question so many times I started making jokes about it. "Well, the jury is still out.. some think it should be Hilary." I got a good laugh out of that one. I told one guy it was "Bush." His face told me he did not appreciate the joke. No one at the hospital reads either. Everyone wanted to know my birthday. I would give them the numbers and then follow up with,,, "That is almost ten years in dog years." I even told one guy I was old enough to know better but too young to care. One thing is for sure.. none of them knew what day of the week it was. I finally told them to just pick one. My hand was hurting so badly. This was a different hospital but the questions were the same. My blood pressure was off the charts, my breathing was very shallow, and all I could think about was the throbbing in my hand. Someone finally asked why my hand was bandaged. I told them about the snake bite. Their eyes got wide as in disbelief.

I begged one of the nurses to give me something for the pain but she said she could not give me anything since the did not know yet if I would need some sort of treatment. OMG!!! Not even a bit of water. I could not stand it any more. I started unwrapping my other hand. I sat there with the bandages all over my lap when the next attendant came through the door. One look at my swollen wrist and hand told them I was in trouble.

The bite affects the nervous system of the victim and can paralyses you and kills the tissue around the bite. I still had a little in me. That is why my lungs were shutting down on me. A second group of anti venom shots followed. Then I started demanding to go home.  I did not want to stay overnight.  A crazy mix up got me a ride home.

I did not get back home until almost midnight. It had been one heck of a twenty four hour period. Then I played the "What If" game.

What if I had not been bitten? The neighborhood would have had all those snakes going into pipes to get out of the excess water from the storm. What if if the storm had not happened? I would not have known about the split tree being so close to my power line. What if the power had not gotten shut off? My house could have burned down. What if my portable oxygen machine had been working? The EMS would not have taken me to the hospital the second time. If I had not gone to the hospital the second time I would be dead because I needed a second dose of the anti venom. When the last EMS guy (who gave me my second ride home) hugged me and thanked me. He had come to work depressed that day wondering if God was really there.

When we got home the electric company had not turned on the power. The parametric called them and had them come out. They could not fix the problem the first time they came out because Sweet Pea had hidden under the back porch and barked at them. Their policy not to enter a yard with a barking dog prevented them from doing anything else. So, they had turned the power off to the line and left.

The attendant and I had a chance to chat while we waited for them to fix my power. I was able to give him a run down of my day starting with the snake bite. What if he had not been the one called to give me a ride home? So many blessings in a 24 hours period... starting with a 3 foot rattle snake. What if?

Tags: Belief God Blessings Home Humor

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What's New? At our ages the list of possible answers is getting shorter. My second husband and I used to have a company we named "What's New." We basically took statuary.. glued a flower pot on the back of it and made a mold over the whole thing. We then filled the mold with many different things. Our most popular pieces were made of marble.

It would come out as a fancy flower pot or planter. I had learned to carve and to make molds. He was a CPA by trade but had always wanted to go into business for himself. His big thing was having a new experience every day. It did not matter what it was. He had been born with club feet. Too many doctors, experiments, and surgeries later he could walk. This lasted until he finally went to public school.

He was small for age and got picked upon to the point a bully decided to stomp on his feet while in the school yard. This meant he would not be able to walk for many years. It was the time in bed, teaching himself, going from one tooter to the next that the quest was born. He had fantastic arm strength from lifting himself in and out of his chair. He played the organ to give his legs and feet the exercise they needed with the least amount of pain.

I asked him once if he hated the kid that had done that to him. He said, "No, He will have to live with it. All I had to  work with what I had. Hate only hurts me. I did not have time for that."  He healed to the point he became a hand to hand combat instructor in the Marines.  Even during his physical no one thought to ex ray his feet.  He never looked back.  He was an amazing man who I would love to have one more "debate" with.  He stood 5'3"  but he was ten foot tall to me.

He dabbled with just about everything. He played the organ beautifully. He did not read music. He would hear a piece on the radio and sit down and play it. He was truly talented.

He loved answering our business phone with "What's New?" in stead of just "Hello". We started out with twenty pieces that turned into a 40 piece line of flower pots. We made them out of marble by mixing resins. It was along this line that he stumbled onto a formula for a synthetic wood like product. He kept playing with it until it came out the same every time and he got the patent on it and called it Durawood. It would do everything wood would do except rot or burn. It did melt if it got thrown into a fire but it did not actually catch on fire. We could put all sort of grain on the pieces we made so we started doing things in "Cherry Wood", Oak, Fruit Wood, etc. It was very unique. It took two years and we were distributing in 18 states. Things were going extremely well for us.

Still, everyday, he would look for something new. No matter what. A new color, a new flavor for food, a new song even. His mission each and everyday he looked for something new.

An injury at work in our factory landed him back in a wheel chair.   It was during this examination he was diagnosed with Leukemia.  We were married for seven years before he came down with Leukemia. We sold the patent and our company so I could take care of him. He did not let it get him down. He wanted me to enroll him in every trial they were having for the disease. He said even if they do not save him maybe the research would benefit someone else.  We prayed together many times. He did finally walk without aide for several years. That was a first or a "new" we really celebrated.  Loving him was very humbling.  Sometimes we would go to the maternity ward while he was in the hospital to hear the cry of the new born babies.  The last two years he was with me were busy ones.

Still everyday... I would search for something new to show him. It was a thing we enjoyed each and everyday. Two years later, when we got to the end, we had been married nine years and it was time for him to go he told me... it did not matter how much money we ever made. The love we shared he had packed away in his heart and he was taking it with him. He also had his list he had kept for years of the "new" thing he had experienced each day.  Looking forward to something new each day pushes you forward.

He looked at the long, long, list. He said, "Look how many new experiences I have had. I have had a very good life. The quest for something new is going with me too."

He was not the first husband I had to bury but his quest to learn and find something new each day of his life planted a seed in me to continue the quest.

The definition of "New": having recently come into existence : recent, modern. That leaves the door wide open. It is a great habit. I urge all retired peoples to try it. You will be surprised how the list will grow.  I point blank asked my husband why he was always looking for something new.  He said he never wanted to get to the point where he could not appreciate something new simply because it was new.  He had remembered how much he enjoyed discovering things when he was a child... before the operations started.  He spent a life time trying to get back to that sense of wonder.  It has nothing to do with age but with life itself.

I was recently reminded:

We will never be remembered by words, but by our kind deeds.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but the moments that take our breaths away.

It's not what you gather, but what you scatter. That tells what kind of life you have lived.

Tags: Hobbies Habits Home

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