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Viewing 1 - 8 out of 8 Blogs.


STILL WEARY. MORE WORN.
Posted On 10/05/2017 16:44:57

MONDAY WAS A VERY STRESSFUL DAY. MY HUBBY HAD TO RUSH HOME FROM A MEETING TO RUSH ME TO THE HOSPITAL EARLY MONDAY AFTERNOON. I WAS THERE IN THE E.R. ONTIL LATE IN THE NIGHT. IT WAS SO TIRING IN THE E.R. AND SO VERY PAINFUL AS I DID CERTAIN THINGS. I WAS PRODDED AND POKED. SO MUCH PAIN. I DECIDED NOT TO GO INTO MORE DEBT BY ADDING ON HUNGREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS BY BEING ADMITTED WHEN I CAN GIVE MYSELF THE SAME MEDS THEY WERE GOING TO GIVE ME IN THE HOSPITAL.


SINCE I GOT HOME, I'VE BEEN FEELING WORSE. A SPECIFIC DISEASE IS ACTING UP BADLY. ITS SO EXTRA DIFFICULT TO GET UP. AS I LAY ON THE BED, SO MANY THINGS WENT THRU MY MIND. I WAS EVEN MAKING COMMENTS ON THIS SITE IN MY MIND. LOL. I MISSED MY MOM WHO WOULD ALWAYS BE WITH ME AND I MISSED KNOWING THAT I WOULDNT SEE MY SON WHEN I GOT HOME. MY DARLING HUBBY HAD TO BE BACK AND FORTH FROM THE CASHIER. ANYTHING THAT WAS ORDERED, IT HAD TO BE PAID FIRST OR NO TREATMENT. I WAITED A LONG TIME FOR PAIN MEDS BECAUSE THE CASHIER LINE WAS LONG SO I WENT THRU EXTRA PAIN WAITING FOR THE MED BUT I EVENTUALLY GOT IT.


I WENT THRU ALOT THAT DAY AND NIGHT. I'M STILL VERY WEAK AND ILL. HOWEVER, I'M GIVING GOD THANKS THAT HE HELPED ME SURVIVE THE PAIN THAT DAY IN THE HOSPITAL WHICH ALMOST DROVE ME CRAZY. I'M THANKFUL THAT WHILE DRIVING, MY HUBBY WAS ABLE TO SWERVE FAST ENOUGH AWAY FROM A CAR THAT WAS COMING STRAIGHT INTO US. ALSO THANKFUL THAT I SURVIVED THE INJURIES TO MY NECK.  I WILL ALWAYS FOR NOW HAVE SEVERE PAIN IN MY NECK. THAT'S BEEN HAPPENING FOR A LONG TIME BECAUSE OF VARIOUS REASONS.


I'M REALLY NAUSEOUS AND TIRED. I WISH U ALL THE BEST. TAKE CARE AND HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND.


GOD BLESS, ARIA.


SO WEARY
Posted On 10/02/2017 01:36:17

FROM LAST WEEK I REALIZED A SPECIFIC DISEASE HAD GOTTEN WORSE. THAT TRIGGERED AN ANGINA ATTACK AND I BLACKED OUT A FEW TIMES FROM THE PAIN.


I ALSO HAVE A NEW PROBLEM AND ITS LITERALLY TWISTING MY BODY. IT ALSO CAUSES EXCRUCIATING PAIN. ITS DIFFICULT TO WALK. I'VE BEEN PRAYING SO MUCH BECAUSE I KNOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL. IF THINGS ARE AS BAD AS THEY ARE NOW, I'LL HAVE TO BE RUSHED TO THE E.R. IN A FEW HOURS. I'M FEELING SO TIRED AND WORN. I'M REALLY EXHAUSTED. THE DISEASE TAKES ALL MY ENERGY. THE RARE DISEASE CAUSES WEIGHT GAIN ESPECIALLY IN THE UPPER PART OF MY BODY. IT MAKES ME DIFFICULT TO WALK AND SO MANY OTHER THINGS. ITS DIFFICULT TO REALLY EXPLAIN HOW I'M FEELING. I KNOW SOMETHING ELSE IS SERIOUSLY WRONG BECAUSE OF CERTAIN SYMTOMS. I'M JUST FEELING SO TIRED IT HURTS TO BREATHE.


I'M SORRY. I'M HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME EXPRESSING MYSELF. THE ONE THING I DO KNOW IS THAT I'M ALIVE BECAUSE OF GOD'S MERCY AND LOVE FOR ME. ALSO HAVING THE LOVE FROM MY HUBBY AND SON MOTIVATES ME TO KEEP FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE. THE PROBLEM IS THAT MY BODY IS SO WEAK THAT ITS SO PAINFUL TO BREATHE. WHILE WRITING THIS, I'VE PASSED OUT TWICE.


I CANT WRITE MUCH LONGER SO I WANT TO WISH FOR EVERYONE A GOOD WEEK. WHATEVER UR GOING THRU, GOD IS WITH YOU. JUST GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO LOOK AFTER YOU. I'M PRAYING FOR U ALL MY FRIENDS AND I ASK THAT U PRAY FOR ME. I'M HAVING SEVERE PAIN IN MY CHEST. ITS LIKE MY CHEST IS TIGHTENING. LIKE I HAVE A HUGE WEIGHT ON MY CHEST. I KNOW WHAT THOSE SYMTOMS MEAN. FRIENDS, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES. IM NOT FOCUSING WELL AT ALL. PEACE AND UNITY ALWAYS. ARIA.


GOD IS JUST WONDERFUL. THANKS SIS. MONA
Posted On 09/15/2017 22:26:39

I'M RARELY ONLINE ON A FRIDAY EVENING BUT I REALLY WANTED TO TELL SIS MONA SOMETHING ON ONE OF HER BLOGS. BUT WHEN I WROTE IT, I REALIZED IT WOULD BE DIFFICULT TO READ BECAUSE IT WAS TOO JUMBLED TOGETHER AND I COULDNT EDIT IT.



ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME OR MEETS ME QUICKLY LEARNS THAT I LOVE MUSIC BUT NOT JUST ANY MUSIC. MY FAVORITE ALL TIME MUSIC IS THE GAITHER VOCAL BAND. I HAVE TO MAKE SPECIAL MENTION OF DAVID PHELPS BECAUSE SOMETIMES HE'S NOT IN THE GROUP LIKE NOW WHEN FOR THE SECOND TIME HE HAS LEFT THE GROUP.



FOR THEPAST YEAR, I HAVENT PLAYED A GAITHER DVD. NOW MY FRIENDS, FOR ME THAT'S VERY STRANGE. BUT ITS BEEN SO CRAZY I CANT PROPERLY EXPLAIN. I'VE HAD MORE MIGRAINES THAN USUAL, I'VE HAD MY USUAL BLACKOUTS AND A NEW HEADACHE WHICH I CANT TALK ABOUT AT THIS TIME. ITS LIKE EVERYTIME I WANTED TO LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC, I COULDNT FIND THE ENERGY. IT WAS JUST SO DIFFICULT. SOMETIMES MY HEART WOULD CRY OUT BUT YET I FELT NUMB.



FRIDAY EVENINGS WERE VERY SPECIAL FOR ME. THAT'S WHEN MY MOM AND I WOULD WATCH AND LISTEN TO SOME GAITHER MUSIC. WHEN SHE BECAME VERY ILL, THERE WAS NO TIME FOR THAT AND TO MAKE IT WORSE, I WAS VERY ILL AS ALWAYS. IT WAS DIFFICULT TO SEE MY MOM SO SICK. I LITERALLY ASKED GOD TO LET ME TAKE MY MOM'S PAIN. THE FUNNY OR NOT FUNNY THING IS THAT I GOT MANY OF THE THINGS BUT MY MOM WAS STILL ILL. MY MOM WAS NOT JUST MY MOTHER, SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND. I COULD TELL HER ANYTHING. HER DEATH HIT ME HARD. THERE WERE MANY PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT I WOULDNT SURVIVE HER DEATH.


A FEW PEOPLE WERE EVEN UNKIND IN THAT THEY PLACED BETS THAT I WOULDNT LIVE PAST A CERTAIN TIME. BUT I HAD MY HUSBAND AND MOST DEFINATELY MY SON TO LIVE FOR. IT WAS JUST DIFFICULT TO FIND THE ENERGY TO JUST LISTEN TO THE MUSIC.


OH WAIT, I'M JUST REMEMBERING, I HAD A DAY WHEN I HAD A TOTAL MELTDOWN AND I SEARCHED FOR MY MOM'S FAVORITE GAITHER MUSIC AND I PLAYED THEM AND I CRIED ONTIL I COLLAPSED. NO KIDDING. THEN ONE FRIDAY EVENING SOMEONE WAS AT MY HOME AND WANTED TO LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC. ONLY GOD GOT ME THRU. AS MUCH AS I WANTED TO, I COULDNT PLAY THE MUSIC AGAIN.



MY FRIENDS, THE LORD USED SIS MONA TODAY TO HELP ME AND I SIMPLY HAD TO COME AND GIVE A PUBLIC THANKS TO SIS. MONA. I KNOW THAT SHE KNEW SHE WAS DOING SOMETHING NICE I WOULD LIKE BUT THERE IS NO WAY SHE COULD HAVE KNOWN THE IMPACT IT WOULD HAVE ON ME.



SIS. MONA GOT A GAITHER SONG FOR ME TO LISTEN TO. NOT JUST ANY SONG. ITS FROM THEIR LATEST DVD AND I FELT SO OVERWHELMED. IF U COULD SEE ME, U WOULD SEE THE TEARS FLOWING DOWN MY FACE. ITS LIKE ALL THE MEMORIES OF MY MOM AND I WATCHING THEIR DVDS JUST FLOODED ME. I DECIDED I WOULD LISTEN TO THE SONG AGAIN BUT I ACTUALLY PASSED OUT FOR A FEW MINUTES.



SOMETIME LATER I DECIDED I WAS GOING TO PLAY A GAITHER DVD. I WAS AND AM FEELING VERY WEAK BUT I GOT UP TO LOOK FOR THE DVD REMOTE. A DIZZY SPELL TOOK ME SO STRONG THAT IF MY HUBBY HADNT RETURNED TO THE ROOM AT THAT TIME, I WOUD HAVE FALLEN. MY HUBBY HELPED ME TO SIT AND I LAID DOWN. THEN HE HELPED ME GET THE MUSIC TOGETHER.



WITH MY SHORT TERM MEMORY, I DECIDED I HAD TO WRITE TONIGHT AND LET SIS MONA KNOW THAT GOD USED HER TO WAKE SOMETHING IN ME. ITS LIKE A FORCE WANTED TO PREVENT ME FROM LISTENING TO THE MUSIC  BUT I PRAYED AND I'M PLEASED TO REPORT THAT I'M ON THE SECOND DVD. I KNOW I WONT BE ABLE TO LISTEN TO MORE THAN ONE MORE OR I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO LISTEN TO ANYMORE BECAUSE I CAN FEEL MY HEADACHE CHANGING WHICH IS NORMAL. I GET MIGRAINES EASILY. AND I BLACKOUT EASILY BUT THE POINT IS I'M BACK ON MY WAY TO LISTENING TO EVEN ONE DVD ON FRIDAY NIGHTS DEPENDING ON THE TYPE OF HEADACHE I'M HAVING.



I CANT SAY ANYTHING ELSE. I'M ACTUALLY VERY DIZZY BUT I'M FINISHING THIS DVD WITH GOD'S HELP. ITS SO GOOD TO HAVE CARING FRIENDS.


MY FRIENDS, U NEVER KNOW WHEN U WILL BE USED TO BE A BLESSING TO SOMEONE. I'M SURE SIS. MONA DIDNT KNOW HOW I WOULD BE AFFECTED. NOW I'M HEARING ONE OF THE SONGS THAT I ALWAYS CRY. I CRY EASILY JUST NOT AT PHYSICAL PAIN. LOL



I'M THANKFUL THAT GOD USED A DEAR FRIEND TO HELP ME TONIGHT. BELIEVE ME, I NEEDED IT. I RECEIVED SOME BAD NEWS TONIGHT AND IT WAS TOO MUCH. BUT I WAS ABLE TO FIND MY MUSIC AGAIN. THANKYOU MY FRIEND. PLS FORGIVE IF ANY MISTAKES. DONT HAVE THE ENERGY TO READ OVER. 



MY FRIENDS, MAY U ALL BE A BLESSING AT SOME POINT TO SOMEONE. MY FRIEND WHO HAS BEEN A BLESSING TO ME TONIGHT, I SAY THANKYOU. I BELIEVE IN GIVING THANKS WHEN THE PERSON IS ALIVE SO HE OR SHE CAN KNOW THAT HE OR SHE IS APPRECIATED. UR APPRECIATED AND LOVED BY ME MY FRIEND. HUGS, ARIA.


EXHAUSTED
Posted On 09/07/2017 05:57:29

DEAR SIS MONA (YOUR CHOICE), IT WAS REALLY GOOD HEARING FROM YOU. I WISH I COULD ADEQUATELY DESCRIBE HOW I'M FEELING BUT I'LL JUST GO WITH TOTALLY EXHAUSTED AND HAVING EXCRUCIATING PAIN ALL OVER MY BODY. I LITERALLY FEEL AS IF I'M LOSING MY MIND FROM THE PAIN AND AS SOME DOCTORS HAVE SAID, WHEN I NOW FREELY ADMIT TO THE PAIN THEY KNOW I MUST BE FEELING, THEY KNOW THAT MY BODY IS NOW EXTREMELY EXTRA WEAK. I HAVE NO PROBLEM AT ALL IN SHARING MY HEALTH PROBLEMS WITH YOU. BECAUSE THEY ARE MANY, I WILL TRY NOT TO OVERWHELM U WITH ALL. AND THANKYOU FOR YOUR CONCERN AND INTEREST AND MOST DEFINATELY YOUR PRAYERS.



WITHOUT ANY DOUBTS, I CAN TELL U THAT I'M ALIVE BECAUSE OF PRAYERS. MY HEALTH IS SO COMPLICATED THAT ITS DIFFICULT TO HELP ME. I BEGAN GETTING ILL FROM I WAS A CHILD. I WAS TOLD I WOULDNT MAKE IT PAST AGE 16. WAS TOLD I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING MUCH. WHEN I WAS 16, I WAS GIVEN A FEW MONTHS TO LIVE. AT THAT TIME I HAD SEVERE JOINT PAIN WHICH TOOK A WHILE TO SORT OUT THE DIAGNOSIS. I WASNT HOME AT THE TIME AND I DECIDED IF I WAS GOING TO DIE SOON, I WANTED TO BE WITH MY PARENTS SO I WENT HOME. FUNNY ENOUGH, ALTHOUGH I LOOKED DEATHLY ILL, I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID. ONE DAY I REALIZED I HAD PASSED THE TIME THAT THE DOCTOR SAID I WOULDNT LIVE AND THAT'S WHEN I TOLD MY PARENTS WHAT THE DOCTOR HAD SAID. ALSO, THAT WAS THE DAY, I MADE THE DECISION THAT NEVER AGAIN NO MATTER HOW ILL AND SICK I WAS AND AM WOULD I JUST ACCEPT WORDS LIKE THAT AND I BEGAN TO FIGHT FOR MY LIFE MORE THAN EVER FROM THEN ONTIL NOW. THE DOCTOR DID SAY SOME THINGS THAT DID TAKE PLACE. I CAN STILL REMEMBER HIM TELLING ME I WOULD HAVE SEVERE JOINT PAIN AND BONE PAIN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. MANY PEOPLE AT SOME POINT EXPERIENCE JOINT PAIN BUT I'M TELLING YOU, U DEFINATELY DO NOT WANT TO EXPERIENCE BONE PAIN. I KNOW PEOPLE WHO HAVE LITERALLY LOST THEIR MINDS FROM BONE PAIN AND FROM OTHER PAINS THAT I HAVE FROM DIFFERENT DISEASES.





AS I GOT OLDER, NEW DISEASES WERE DISCOVERED. ONTIL THIS DAY, WE DONT KNOW WHY I HAVE CERTAIN THINGS. I HAVE MANY ALLERGIES TO MEDICATION AND TO THE NATURAL FOOD ITSELF. I RARELY EAT BECAUSE I'M ALLERGIC TO ALMOST EVERYTHING. I CANT HAVE ANYTHING AT ALL THAT IS STRONG IN IRON. IF SOMETHING HAS A LITTLE IRON, I MAY BE ABLE TO EAT A LITTLE. I JUST HAVE TO MAKE SURE I HAVE MEDICATION ON HAND. IF I SHOULD HAVE KIDNEY BEANS OR PEANUTS, IN A COUPLE MINUTES I'M COMPLETELY DIZZY, HAVE EXCRUCIATING HEAD PAIN AND I BECOME UNCONSIOUS, SOMETIMES GOING INTO COMATOSE STATE.





YESTERDAY WAS SPENT IN THE HOSPITAL. WHEN MY REGULAR GP SAW ME AND REALIZED I COULD BARELY LIFT MY HEAD, HIS HEART WENT OUT TO ME. I'M THE TYPE OF PATIENT THAT EVEN WHEN I'M DYING, I'M LAUGHING. SO WHEN I CAN BARELY SMILE, ITS LIKE THE DOCTORS CAN BARELY THINK. ITS JUST IN THE PAST FEW YEARS THAT I CANT KEEP SILENT ALWAYS WHEN IN PAIN. YESTERDAY, WHEN THE DOCTOR TOUCHED MY LEFT THIGH, I DOUBLED OVER IN PAIN AND CRIED OUT. THE WORSE THING AS I SAID ITS DIFFICULT TO HELP ME.





FOR OVER 30 YEARS, I HAVE BEEN HAVING DAILY SEVERE HEADACHES. SOMETIMES THE HEADACHES TURN INTO MIGRAINES. I HAVE MIGRAINES WEEKLY. I ALSO HAVE MIGRAINES IN MY EYES. THAT MY FRIENDS WILL DRIVE U CRAZY. I HAVE GLAUCOMA. AS U KNOW GLAUCOMA IS A SILENT DISEASE. NO WARNINGS AND I HAD REGULAR EYE EXAMINATIONS. ITS A RARE DISEASE THAT LED ME TO FIND OUT ABOUT THE GLAUCOMA. THAT IS A STORY BY ITSELF. VERY TRAUMATIC. IF I DONT REMEMBER, PLS REMIND ME TO SHARE IT WITH YOU. SOME OF THE DISEASES AND HEALTH ISSUES I HAVE ARE :





1. DAILY HEADACHES, SOMETIMES MIGRAINES

2. ASHTMA

3. BRONCHITIS WITH COPD

4. OSTEOPOROSIS

5. OSTEOARTHRITIS

6. FIBROMYALGIA

7. SEVERE CHRONIC NERVE PAIN

8. SCOLIOSIS

9. TWISTED SPINE

10. RARE DISEASE CALLED CUSHINGS SYNDROME OR DISEASE

11. SICKLE CELL BETA THALLASEMIA

12. CANCER





THERE ARE 2 RARE DISEASES ON THAT LIST THAT I WILL HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO U BECAUSE THEY ARE VERY RARE WITH NO CURES. THEY CAUSE EXCRUCIATING PAIN. ONE OF THEM DRASTICALLY CHANGES UR BODY. AS I'M HERE WRITING, I'M HAVING CHRONIC SEVERE JOINT PAIN. THERE ARE OTHER DISEASES/HEALTH ISSUES THAT I WILL TALK ABOUT NEXT TIME BECAUSE MORE THAN EVER YOU WILL REALIZE ITS ONLY SINCERE PRAYERS AND GOD'S MERCIES WHY I'M ALIVE.





THIS IS VERY LONG WHAT I'VE WRITTEN AND I HAVE LOTS MORE TO SHARE SO I KNOW U WILL UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE TO STOP HERE. ITS ALOT TO TAKE IN. IF I DIDNT HAVE A STRONG THRESHOLD FOR PAIN, I COULDNT EVEN WRITE. I'M ALWAYS WILLING TO SHARE IF SOMEONE IS INTERESTED SO PLS FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ANYTHING U DONT UNDERSTAND OR JUST WANT TO KNOW. I ASKED U TO REMIND ME OF THE STORY BEHIND THE GLAUCOMA BECAUSE I HAVE SEVERE SHORT TERM MEMORY DUE TO BRAIN TRAUMA SO I MAY FORGET AND ITS A VERY INTERESTING TRAUMATIC STORY.





FOR NOW I WILL END BY SAYING : FRIENDS, WHATEVER UR GOING THRU, DONT GIVE UP. BELIEVE ME, I CAN PROBABLY RELATE TO SOMETHING UR GOING THRU. I'M VERY ILL BUT I HAVE TO PRAISE GOD DAILY BECAUSE HE KEEPS HELPING ME AND THRU OUT EVERYTHING, SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS I'M BREATHING MY LAST BREATH, I KNOW GOD IS WITH ME. I'M HERE FOR YOU ALL. I PRAY FOR YOU AND YOU CAN TALK TO ME ANYTIME BECAUSE I TRULY DO CARE ABOUT YOUR LIVES AND I WANT YOU ALL TO BE OK OR EVEN REACH A PLACE WHERE U CAN MANAGE WHAT UR GOING THRU.





TAKE CARE. GOD BLESS U ALL. HUGS FROM ARIA.





REMEMBER TO SHARE THE GIFT OF A SMILE WITH SOMEONE. 



LOST IN MY MIND
Posted On 09/03/2017 14:59:42

MY FRIENDS,

AS ALWAYS I WISH THE BEST FOR YOU. I HOPE U HAVE BEEN HAVING A GOOD WEEKEND AND THAT THIS WILL BE A GOOD WEEK FOR YOU.


I'M FEELING EXHAUSTED. VERY WEAK. I'M HAVING SO MUCH PAIN THAT I CAN BARELY THINK. LAST WEEK WAS VERY ROUGH. I COULD BARELY MOVE. HAD SOME DAYS WHEN I COULDNT WALK ON MY OWN BUT THRU EVERYTHING, GOD HAS BEEN WITH ME.


ONE NIGHT I WAS BARELY BREATHING. THE PAIN IN MY CHEST WAS SO TERRIBLE. I LITERALLY CRIED OUT TO GOD FOR HELP. MY HUBBY WASNT ANYWHERE NEAR BY.


ON FRIDAY EVENING I ALMOST LOST MY MIND. FOR THE SECOND TIME IN MY LIFE, THE INSIDE OF MY THROAT WAS BURNT BADLY. THE PAIN MADE ME ALMOST GO CRAZY. I HAD VISITORS COMING AND I PRAYED SO HARD THAT I COULD SPEAK. I WASHED MY THROAT SO MUCH. MY HUBBY WAS SO EXHAUSTED, I KNEW IF HE WENT AROUND THE WHEEL, I COULD PROBABLY LOSE HIM SO I DIDNT GO TO THE HOSPITAL THAT NIGHT.


MY HUBBY DOES PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING IN THE HOME ALONG WITH GOING OUT TO WORK. I USED TO ENJOY COOKING BUT WHEN A CONDITION GOT WORSE WHICH AFFECTS ME BEING IN THE KITCHEN AROUND HOT THINGS, HE IMMEDIATELY HAD ME STOP COOKING. HE REFUSED TO TAKE ANY CHANCES OF ME ALMOST LOSING MY LIFE BECAUSE I WANTED AND NEEDED TO COOK FOR HIM. I MISS IT BUT I KNOW ITS NOT SAFE. I'M SO BLESSED IN THE HUSBAND I HAVE. NOT MANY MEN IN THIS WORLD WOULD DO WHAT HE DOES. EACH DAY, I GIVE GOD THANKS FOR HIM.


I RARELY EVER GET A VISITOR WHICH IS WHY I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK WITH MY GUESTS. I REALLY PRAYED. MY HUBBY HELPED TO GET ME DRESSED AND PUT ME BACK INTO BED AND WHEN MY GUESTS ARRIVED, I WAS ABLE TO SPEAK. IMMEDIATELY AFTER THEY LEFT, MY VOICE WENT. NO KIDDING. I CAN BARELY SPEAK. I HAVE TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL THIS WEEK SO I WILL HAVE MY THROAT CHECKED. IT WONT BE NICE EXPLAINING HOW I GOT BURNT. I'LL KNOW AT THAT TIME IF I WILL NEED TO SEE AN E.N.T. DOCTOR. NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING ON THE ROAD BECAUSE ITS ALWAYS SO PAINFUL ON MY BACK. AND BEING IN THE HOSPITAL ISNT USUALLY A PLEASANT EXPERIENCE.



I FORGOT TO SAY THAT THURSDAY I BEGAN HAVING SYMTOMS OF EITHER A STROKE OR PANIC ATTACK. I HAVE A HISTORY OF BOTH PLUS MINOR HEART ATTACKS. FORTUNATELY, I HAD THE EXACT MEDICATIONS ON HAND THAT I'M USUALLY GIVEN. I SPOKE TO MY DOCTOR AND I WENT THRU THE PAINFUL PROCESS OF HAVING AN ANGINA ATTACK. MY HEART WAS ALWAYS WEAK AS A CHILD SO I GUESS IT MADE IT EASY FOR ME TO HAVE HEART PROBLEMS AS AN ADULT. MY MIND IS ALL OVER THE PLACE THAT I REALLY CAN BARELY THINK.




SATURDAY WAS EXTRA CHALLENGING. I HAD SUCH A BAD ATTACK OF BRONCHITIS WITH COPD THAT IT BROUGHT ON ANOTHER ANGINA ATTACK. THERE IS SO MUCH I WANT TO SAY BUT I'M REALLY EXHAUSTED. AND THIS MORNING I GOT THE NEWS THAT A WOMAN I KNEW WAS MURDERED ALONG WITH ONE OF HER SONS YESTERDAY MORNING. I EVEN GOT TO SEE A PIC OF THE MURDERED VICTIMS.


I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GO NOW BECAUSE I'M REALLY DIZZY. I PRAY THAT ALL WHO ARE GOING THRU VARIOUS CHALLENGIES THAT THINGS WILL GET BETTER FOR YOU. I'M COUGHING SO MUCH AND IT HURTS SO MUCH. I'M GONNA REST FOR A WHILE. 


TAKE CARE MY FRIENDS. MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL.


HUGS FROM ARIA.





THANKYOU LORD
Posted On 08/27/2017 05:26:31

I'M HERE TRYING TO WRITE AND I JUST WANT TO CRY BUT ITS HARD. I CAN CRY EASILY AT A SAD SONG, A SAD MOVIE, ANYTHING SAD, FRIENDS AND RELATIVES HURTING, EVEN STRANGERS BUT SINCE I WAS A CHILD I ALWAYS HAD A HARD TIME CRYING OVER MY PAIN NO MATTER HOW BAD IT WAS OR IS. THE PAST COUPLE YEARS, THAT SEEMS TO BE CHANGING AT TIMES AND IT SEEMS UNREAL.



I'M VERY EMOTIONAL BECAUSE I'M REMEMBERING ALL I WENT THRU 2 SUNDAYS AGO. I STILL HAVE TESTS TO DO BUT THE DOCTORS SAY THEY CANT UNDERSTAND ME BECAUSE WHAT WOULD TOTALLY PARALYZE SOMEONE OR KILL THE PERSON, MY BODY KEEPS FIGHTING. EVEN AS WEAK AS I AM, THEY THOUGHT I WOULD JUST GIVE UP NOW.



I'VE ALWAYS HAD A STRONG THRESHOLD FOR PAIN. SO MANY STORIES. I KNOW THAT I'M VERY ILL BUT FRANKLY, IT ANNOYS ME WHEN I'M TOLD ITS TIME TO GIVE UP. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE TO TELL ME THESE THINGS !! FRIENDS, WHEN UR BATTLING FOR YOUR LIFE AND SOMEONE COMES AND TELLS YOU TO JUST GIVE UP OR PLAINLY TAKE MY LIFE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW THAT MESSES UP THE MIND. I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE ILL ON THE PLANET. THERE ARE OTHERS WHO ARE EVEN WORSE. DONT COMPARE ME TO ANOTHER PERSON.



SORRY FRIENDS, AS I TOLD U, THOSE FALLS LAST SUNDAY WERE TRAUMATIC AND I'M RELIVING THEM MAINLY BECAUSE OF THE PAIN.



I TAKE BEING ALIVE VERY SERIOUSLY. I'M THANKFUL THAT I CAN WRITE AT THIS MOMENT. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR. YESTERDAY, I ALMOST LOST MY MIND FROM THE INTENSE HEAT. I CANNOT BEGIN TO DESCRIBE WHAT IT DOES TO ME.

I'VE BEEN ASKED MANY TIMES HOW IT IS THAT I'M ALMOST ALWAYS SMILING OR LAUGHING.


I'VE BEEN ASKED IF I'M NOT ANGRY WITH GOD FOR MAKING ME SICK AND ILL. I HAD TO TELL THOSE PEOPLE THAT GOD DIDNT MAKE ME ILL. I AGREE THAT HE ALLOWS IT BUT ITS FOR ME TO TRUST HIM AND TO KNOW THAT HE HAS HIS REASONS FOR ALLOWING THE VARIOUS THINGS THAT TAKE PLACE.


I COULDNT BE ANGRY WITH GOD. HE'S MY HEAVENLY FATHER AND HE'S LOOKING AFTER ME.


I LOOK ON THE FACT THAT THERE ARE DAYS I CAN SLOWLY WALK WITHOUT THE AID OF SOMETHING AS LONG AS SOMEONE IS NEAR TO ME, I THINK ON THE FACT THAT IF I NEED HELP TO WALK , THEN I HAVE MY CRUTCH AND FOR PLACES THAT ARE TOO FAR TO WALK, I HAVE MY WHEELCHAIR.  MY ARMS ARE VERY ILL, I CAN BARELY MOVE THEM SO I GIVE THANKS THAT I HAVE MY DARLING TIRED HUBBY TO PUSH THE CHAIR WHEN NECESSARY. I NOW NEED ANOTHER CRUTCH WHICH I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WITH BECAUSE OF THE TORN LIGAMENTS IN MY NECK AND SHOULDERS. IT CAUSES ALOT OF PRESSURE ON MY BODY.



WHEN SOMEONE SENDS ME A COMFORTING THOUGHT, I'M THANKFUL. I'M SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE MY GAITHER SONGS TO LISTEN TO WHEN MY HEAD ALLOWS IT. I'VE BEEN ASKING MYSELF WHEN I'LL GET NEW DVDS BUT UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE ALL THESE MEDICAL BILLS TO DEAL WITH.

FRIENDS, NO MATTER HOW BAD THINGS MAY BE, I TELL U, UR NOT ALONE.

THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU AND WHO LOVE YOU.

I KNOW I WONT BE ABLE TO DO MUCH WRITING FOR THE REST OF THE DAY BUT I'M THANKFUL I'M WRITING NOW.


U DONT HAVE TO LOOK FAR TO FIND SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR. IF U HAVE GOOD HEALTH, THAT'S A MAJOR BLESSING. IF THERE ARE PROBLEMS BUT THEY ARE UNDER CONTROL, THAT'S A BLESSING. IF U HAVE A LOVING SPOUSE, HOW WONDERFUL THAT IS. PLS DONT LET THE NEGATIVE THINGS WEIGH U DOWN. I DO KNOW HOW EASY IT IS FOR THAT TO HAPPEN. THAT'S WHY I'M THANKFUL FOR ANY HELP I GET.



DONT GET ME WRONG, I'M IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN BUT IF I SIMPLY DWELL ON THAT, I'LL NEVER MOVE AGAIN. U HAVE TO WANT TO LIVE. THERE IS A PURPOSE FOR YOUR LIFE.



I'M SORRY BUT MY HANDS ARE NOW LETTING ME KNOW THAT I HAVE TO STOP. AND THE HEADACHE REFUSES TO GIVE ME SOME EASE BUT IM NOT GIVING UP.


I'M VERY THANKFUL FOR MY FRIENDS HERE.

DEAR FRIENDS, I ASK YOU TODAY, WHAT ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR ? U R ALWAYS IN MY PRAYERS. TAKE CARE.



HUGS AND LOVE.


GOD BLESS,

ARIA.



AS I ALWAYS SAY : REMEMBER TO SHARE THE GIFT OF A SMILE WITH SOMEONE. 



MY MIND
Posted On 08/21/2017 07:34:05

HELLO EVERYONE, PEACE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL. IN MY MIND, I'VE WRITTEN ALL I WANT TO SAY BUT I KNOW IN REALITY I CANT EVEN DO QUARTER OF THAT.

ALTHOUGH EACH DAY HEALTHWISE IS AGONY FOR ME, I DO GIVE GOD THANKS DAILY FOR MY LIFE. OF COURSE, THAT DOESNT MEAN, I WOULDNT APPRECIATE SOME EASE FROM THE PAIN.  

SOMETIMES I'LL TELL SOMEONE THAT WHAT HE OR SHE IS DOING IS PHYSICALLY HURTING ME. DOESNT ALWAYS HELP. FOR OVER 25 YEARS I'VE HAD A DAILY TERRIBLE HEADACHE. COUPLE DAYS OR MORE WEEKLY, IT TURNS INTO A MIGRAINE. I REALLY HAVE NO MEMORY WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOT TO HAVE A HEADACHE. RECENTLY SOMEONE DROPPED A BOX OF HEAVY BOOKS DIRECTLY BESIDE MY HEAD. IMMEDIATELY, THE TEARS SLOWLY FLOWED. MANY TIMES PEOPLE WILL NOT UNDERSTAND MY SITUATION OR EVEN YOURS. I HONESTLY WOULDNT WANT THE PERSON TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND IT ALL BECAUSE HE OR SHE WOULD HAVE TO EXPERIENCE IT AND ITS NOT EASY. I KNOW OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE KILLED THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY CAN NO LONGER TOLERATE THE PAIN OR THEY ARE SO HOOKED TO DRUGS, U BARELY RECOGNIZE THE INDIVIDUAL. WHAT I DO EXPECT THO IS SOME FORM OF UNDERSTANDING THAT WHAT I'M GOING THRU IS DIFFICULT AND SO, NO ONE WILL MAKE THINGS WORSE. I KNOW THAT MANY DONT INTENTIONALLY CAUSE PAIN BUT SOMETIMES SOME PEOPLE DONT THINK.

IT TOOK MANY YEARS BEFORE I WOULD FREELY TALK ABOUT THE SERIOUSNESS OF MY HEALTH PROBLEMS AND THAT WAS AND STILL IS BECAUSE I DONT LIKE ATTENTION BEING DRAWN TO ME. BUT I'M HONEST IN SAYING THAT I'VE LEARNED OVER THE YEARS THAT EVERYONE NEEDS SOME FORM OF SUPPORT. FOR MANY YEARS I WENT WITHOUT THAT. NOW, I WONDER HOW I SURVIVED ALL THOSE YEARS WITHOUT A KIND WORD. NOT TALKING ABOUT SUPPORT FROM MY PARENTS. I ALWAYS HAD THAT FROM CHILDHOOD WHEN I BEGAN TO GET VERY ILL. RIGHT NOW THE RAIN IS FALLING AND FOR ME THAT ALWAYS MEANS EXTRA EXCRUCIATING PAIN. EVERY FORM OF WEATHER HURTS ME. THE HEAT MAKES ME EXTRA DIZZY, MAKES ME BLACK OUT AND MANY OTHER THINGS. COOL OR COLD WEATHER, DAMP OR RAINY WEATHER CAUSES SEVERE TO EXCRUCIATING PAIN, SPECIFICALLY JOINT PAIN. SOMETIMES I HAVE TO ASK GOD FOR STRENGTH TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN. YET IF I HAVE A CHOICE BETWEEN HOT AND COOL OR SLIGHTLY COLD, I'LL TAKE THE LATTER. I WONT SPEAK OF VERY COLD WEATHER BECAUSE THAT IS A KILLER BUT I'D STILL TAKE THAT. LOL. THANKFULLY, I RARELY DEAL WITH EXTREME COLD WEATHER.

MY FRIENDS, HAVING GOOD HEALTH IS SUCH A BLESSING. MANY TIMES WHEN I TAKE A PICTURE, I'VE JUST SEEN A DOCTOR OR I'M SO ILL I CAN BARELY MOVE. I CAN REALLY ACT WHEN IT COMES TO PICTURES. LOL. I MISS THE THINGS I CAN NO LONGER DO BUT I GIVE GOD THANKS THAT I'M NOT ALWAYS COMPLETELY HELPLESS. THERE IS SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR. BELIEVE ME, BLESSINGS COME IN SO MANY WAYS. ITS EASY TO BE DISCOURAGED IF ILL, ESPECIALLY TERMINALLY. I KNOW. I'M THERE. BUT MY FRIENDS, IF U ONLY KNEW HOW MUCH GOD LOVES YOU. I'M SURE MANY OF U DO. GOD BLESSES US IN MANY WAYS BUT SOMETIMES WE ARE SO CAUGHT UP WITH COMPLAINING THAT WE MISS THE BLESSINGS. I'M ASKING YOU PLS NOT TO LET THAT BE US. WE ARE LOVED. LETS CONTINUE PRAYING FOR EACH OTHER AND ENCOURAGING EACH OTHER. GOOD ENCOURAGEMENT GOES A LONG WAY. I KNOW I'M THANKFUL WHEN I RECEIVE IT AND THO HARD, I TRY TO GET PAST THE NEGATIVE.

THIS SITE IS A BLESSING. FOR ME, EVEN A SENTENCE SAYING I'M REMEMBERED MEANS ALOT TO ME. I ENJOY SEARCHING FOR LOVELY PIC COMMENTS TO SEND. I JUST CAN NO LONGER SEND AS OFTEN AS I'D LIKE TO. I JUST LIKE BEING APART OF THE COMMUNITY HERE AND I'M THANKFUL FOR US. WITH GOD'S HELP, LETS TRY NOT TO TAKE EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED. I'M HUMAN. I MAKE MISTAKES AT TIMES. I HAVE VERY BAD SHORT TERM MEMORY DUE TO BRAIN TRAUMA. PLS, IF SOMETHING IS WRONG REGARDING ME, SPEAK TO ME KINDLY. I'M NOT HERE TO HURT ANYONE AND IT WOULD BE NICE NOT TO BE HURT AND EASILY JUDGED AT TIMES. HAVE TO STOP NOW SO AM GONNA GO. 

THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. HUGS, ARIA.


HEALTH AND FAMILY
Posted On 08/19/2017 16:06:53

IS THERE SUCH A WORD AS COMFORTABLE IN THIS HEAT ?MY FRIEND SAPPHIRE MADE ME SMILE AS SHE SPOKE OF THIS TERRIBLE HEAT. WHEN I WAS IN THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE YESTERDAY, I JUST WANTED TO TAKE THEIR A.C. LOL I ALMOST PASSED OUT FROM THE PAIN. THE PREVIOUS NIGHT MY HUBBY CAME HOME TO FIND ME UNCONCIOUS ON THE FLOOR. I CANT EVEN WRITE ABOUT WHAT THE PAIN IS LIKE WHEN I HAVE TO GET UP AFTER REGAINING CONSIOUSNESS. MAYBE ANOTHER TIME.

I HAVE SEVERAL DOCTORS I HAVE TO GO TO AND I'M GETTING WORSE BECAUSE THE DOCTORS I NEED TO SEE, WONT TREAT YOU ONTIL U PAY. MY PAIN WAS ALREADY EXCRUCIATING. ITS BEYOND THAT NOW. BUT THANKFULLY I HAVE A SUPPORTIVE FAMILY.

I TRY NOT TO WRITE WHICH IS HARD BECAUSE I ENJOY WRITING BUT WRITING/TYPING WITH BOTH ARMS BADLY IMFLAMED AND FILLED WITH MANY TORN LIGAMENTS IS JUST TOO MUCH. ITS STILL A WONDER THAT I'M ALIVE AFTER THE MANY FALLS I HAD IN THE PAST WEEK. THE SWELLING ON MY FACE HAS FINALLY GONE DOWN ABIT. A CT SCAN OF THE BRAIN HAS TO BE DONE TO SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING THERE.

I CAN TELL YOU THAT I AM ALIVE BECAUSE OF THE PRAYERS OF GENUINE FRIENDS AND THE MERCY OF GOD.WHAT A MIGHTY POWERFUL LOVING MERCIFUL GOD WE SERVE.

I MISS MY MOM SO MUCH. WE WERE VERY CLOSE. SHE WAS FAMILY FOR ME, FOR MY HUBBY AND SON. NOT EXTENDED FAMILY. I CAN STILL REMEMBER GOING TO HER TO BATHE HER ONLY TO FIND HER GONE. SHE PASSED AWAY ON NOVEMBER 15, 2015 AND I THINK OF HER EVERY DAY. WE ALL LIVED TOGETHER. SHE WAS MY ROCK. MY TOWER OF STRENGTH. MY PRAYER WARRIOR. COMFORTER. BEST FRIEND AND THE VERY BEST MOTHER ANYONE COULD HAVE. AH MY FRIENDS, I'M FEELING EXTRA EMOTIONAL.

ITS ONE OF THOSE DAYS WHEN I WONDER IF ITS JUST A DREAM. I'VE BEEN ILL FOR A VERY LONG TIME AND IN SO MANY WAYS, SHE WAS THERE FOR ME. I BETTER STOP BECAUSE I CAN EASILY WRITE 10 PAGES ABOUT MY MOM AND I DONT REALIZE.  WHEN SHE DIED, MANY PEOPLE THOUGHT IT WAS ME BECAUSE I'M THE SICK/ILL ONE IN THE FAMILY. MY DAD DIED SEVERAL YEARS AGO. WE WERE ALL A CLOSE FAMILY. I DONT KNOW WHERE I'D BE WITHOUT GOD. I DEFINATELY COULDNT SURVIVE WITHOUT MY BIG BROTHER JESUS WHO DAILY INTERCEDES ON MY BEHALF BEFORE MY HEAVENLY FATHER. I'M SO THANKFUL FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT WHO COMFORTS ME. ITS DEFINATELY GREAT TO HAVE PEOPLE WHO WILL SINCERELY EMCOURAGE YOU. DESPITE EVERYTHING, I AM BLESSED.

I'M NOT FOCUSING WELL. SEVERE PAIN IN MY EYES. I SHOULD BE IN THE HOSPITAL BUT CANT BE IN THE ONE I NEED TO GO TO PRESENTLY BUT I WILL CONTINUE TO HOLD ONTO HOPE AND MY FAITH.

PLS KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS AS I CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR ALL MY FRIENDS AND ACTUALLY EVERY MEMBER OF THIS SITE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALL.

BLESSINGS MY FRIENDS. ARIA.

PLS FORGIVE ANY MISTAKES.





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