Back in the days when I could still put two lines together, I risked the wrath of the Galley with the following little ode. Fortunately for me the cooks on board did have a sense of humour... And did turn out some great meals... and I didn't wind up with powdered glass or silver polish as an added garnish to my crew meals after this had been posted on the crew bulletin board. I hope you enjoy!
ODE TO JUST ANOTHER CREW MEAL
IN THE COOK'S CABIN SOMETHING STIRRED
ARE THEY AWAKE? --- NO THAT'S ABSURD!
BUT MAYBE THEY ARE HAVING A DEBATE
ABOUT WHAT CREW MEAL, TODAY THEY'LL CREATE
FOR SOUP, PERHAPS FRENCH ONION AND PASTA
THAT SHOULD GET THEM ON TO THE MAIN COURSE FASTER
ALTERNATIVELY WE'LL GIVE 'EM TOASTY GRILLS
THEN WATCH AS THEY POP THE HEARTBURN PILLS
NOW FOR THE MAIN COURSE LET'S WORK UP SOME IDEAS
THAT WILL LEAVE THEM EMPTY AND CLOSE TO TEARS
THERE'S THAT PARCEL OF GRISTLE THE BUTCHER SENT
MAYBE A PIE, WITH PASTRY MADE LIKE WET CEMENT
THEN WE OUGHT TO DO SOMETHING EXOTIC
THAT'S USUALLY GUARANTEED TO MAKE 'EM SICK
YEAH!! CHINESE, THAT COULD BE THE THING
IF WE COOK THE NOODLES LIKE SOGGY STRING
NOW WE'RE REALLY GETTING THERE
SO WHAT WILL IT BE FOR VEGETARIAN FARE?
WE COULD DO SWEET 'n' SOUR MARROW WITH RICE
THE RICE DONE ALL CLAGGY, -- VERY NICE!!
FOR DESSERT WE NEED SOMETHING EASY AND COOL
SO WHAT ABOUT A PRUNE, MELON AND RHUBARB FOOL?
SURE, THAT SHOULD LEAVE 'EM ALL FEELING QUEAZY
AND BEST OF ALL, IT'S NICE AND EASY
THEN WE CAN DO STYROFOAM AND HARDBOARD PIE
THAT SHOULD BRING A TEAR TO MORE THAN ONE EYE
MERINGUE WITH THE CONSISTENCY OF CEILING TILING
WITH PASTRY SO HARD THAT THEIR TEETH WILL NEED FILING
THAT'S GOT IT SORTED, ANOTHER GASTRONOMIC DELIGHT
THE CREW WILL REALLY ENJOY THIS LOT TONIGHT
OF COURSE SOME WILL MOAN, THEY ALWAYS DO
BUT WHAT THE 'ECK THEY'RE ONLY CREW
NOW WHAT ARE YOU GONNA HAVE FOR YOUR TEA?
IT'LL BE A CANNED MEAT AND CHEESE SANDWICH FOR ME
I THINK I MIGHT NOW GO BACK TO BED
THIS MENU PLANNING HAS GIVEN ME A PAIN IN THE HEAD
******************************************************
Jayseahawk '97
