Did you know that cartoons have nothing to do with cars that sing or anything about car horns?
Did you know animation has nothing to do with cartoons or the wives of your uncles.... it has to do with little bugs that live underground... you know ant nations.
Did you know that car horns have nothing to do with big teeth sticking out of a car but is the noise the car makes when your mommy whats to cut in front of someone else in another car?
Did you know that some birds play baseball? The Cardinals, the Orioles, and the Blue Jays. This insight came from a little girl with a bird book. She pointed out the ones who played ball. She went on to tell us her grandfather had become a blue jay. Apparently that is what happens to ball players when they die... they pick what they want to become; some become birds.. some angels, some tigers and some birds.
Did you know what you call sleeping goats? Kidnappers. As a follow up with this one "kid" does not always mean goats sometimes it is another name for a child and sometimes it has something to do with joking about something. There is a lot of confusion on this one for sure.
Did you know if you do not want any more brothers or sisters you have try and keep your mommy from smiling because that is where your daddy finds them... behind your mommy's smile. I told them; smiles are a way of letting others know you love them because smiling makes your eyes sparkle. Also, sometimes when you laugh your eyes sparkle the most. Besides brothers and sisters are gifts of love.
Did you know why there is a frog? To keep flies from having too many babies. It is also a disguise for magical royalty.
Did you know you can have New things without there being old things? New York but no Old York; New Jersey but no Old Jersey.
Did you know that "a slip of the tongue" has nothing to do with putting underwear in your mouth?
Did you know if you find a leaf in the bible you should leave it there... it is Adam's underwear.
Did you know that being a heavy weight has nothing to do with sitting around for a long time while your mommy gets dressed? Or that a waiting room has nothing to do with how heavy it is?
Did you know that grandparents are grumpy because they forget to put their smiles back in when they get up? Apparently some keep their smiles in a jar in the bathroom.
Did you know that you have to count how many times your dog wags his tail because that is how he measures things? The more he wags his tail the longer he lives.
I realize some of these revelations will come as a surprise to you. But, I have only been back at school for one day. These are the things I was taught today
There is something else I learned. You need to know why a child asks a question... before you try to answer it. "Where do babies come from?" Is really a question about where his new baby brother was from and had nothing to do with why there is a New Jersey and not an Old Jersey. What is an old jersey has nothing to do with an old T-Shirt.
One question I was asked made me stop and think a bit. "Should I be shot?" Why was the question asked? His mommy likes the president and thinks those who do not should be shot; his daddy does not like the president and thinks those who do like him should be shot. He loves both his parents and is not sure if he should be shot because he does not even know the president. I explained that sometimes the word shot means to take someone's picture. I also excused myself, got a tape player and started the conversation with the child again. He repeated the question, "Should I be shot?" But this time he went further, "Should I be killed?" I allowed him to complete his thoughts and he started to cry. I ask why he is crying, "Somebody in my family is going to die but I just don't know who." I gave this child a big hug. Dried his tears and told him again, that sometimes the term being shot means to take someone's picture like with a camera. I also added that as long as he is surrounded by love no one can hurt you. Then I put my arms around him again and just let him cry. He finally cried until he got sleepy and I put his nap-mat down and let him finish his nap with the other children.
Before letting his parents pick him up, I played the tape for them. I reminded them that little pitcher's have big ears. They hear what you are saying but the interpretation is from a six year old. Don't allow your political point of view destroy the one thing you both love dearly.
I also would like to add that I set the class straight about one thing. I walk funny because I have a hitch in my get-along not because my hip-m-plants are trying to grow new leaves.
This pretty much covers my first day as a substitute teacher for a class of 18 six-year old children. Yikes! I can hardly wait to find out what I learn tomorrow. As a teacher I always believed I arrived as a teacher and left as a pupil. I was right.
Tags: Children
