I have considered myself a ruthless non-collector all my life. I am a cut-throat declutterer. And yet...there it is...stuff. I have stuff. Where does the stuff come from? How does it multiply? How do I get rid of stuff? Recycling and rules about refuse have complicated the problem. Some of it was given to me or my family as gifts. Can I just dispose of someone's thoughtfulness? What about family heirlooms? Am I the keeper of family heirlooms until I die?
The next generation does not seem to have a connection to "things". My stepmother was my father's best friend's widow. I knew her all my life. We were always polite, but frankly she was not my favorite person.. However, she was Grandma Milly to my children and my sister's children. She had an affinity for my husband and gave him her family heirlooms for his birthday or Christmas. In a recent "clean out" I offered them to her grandchildren. They had history and were actually nice pieces, two crystal decanters, a letter opener and a set of bookends all dating back to WWI. They all said "no thanks" without hesitation. I finally gave them to her brother's daughter. She is a woman of my generation and will probably have the same problem passing them on. However, my conscience is clear.
"Anything you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its usefulness owns you." That phrase repeats in my head as I stare at a decorative cabinet full of "good china". I remember the family occasions when it was used. Nobody wants it. Things are so much less formal today the good china hasn't seen an outing in five years. The set, painstakingly purchased piece by piece over years has monetary value, but I don't have any use for formality anymore and I don't need things to remind me of my blessings. I have decided when I downsize, the china will be my everyday dishes as I choose not to live in a disposable world. Problem solved.
I was talking with my sister's daughter. She told me she got a tattoo in memory of mom and dad. A tattoo? Heck, that's gonna be a whole lot harder to get rid of than a few knick-knacks. Back to finding new homes for my stuff. It's like finding homes for kittens. You want to be rid of them, but you want them to be loved and handled with care. I dream of a home free of my dust collectors but I wouldn't mind being able to visit them once in a while.
