My mom had been called to school.  I was in the principal's office.  The mud in my hair and all over my clothes told anyone that I had not had a good day.   

  Another child was in the room too.  He also was covered with mud, but his was mostly around his mouth and on his face.

  The meeting would have gone a lot easier if my mommy had not slipped into a mud puddle on the way into the building.  She arrived with mud on the lower part of her clothes and handbag.  She had stopped off at the restroom to grab some paper towels to wipe as best she could.  She came rushing into the room.

  The mother of the little boy started the conversation, "Well, we can see who she is related to can't we.  She looks like a monkey too."

 "That is not called for Ms. Pendleton.  There will be no name calling in this office."  Mr. Buttery, the principal, was on his feet.  He grabbed a chair for my mommy and signaled for Ms. Pendleton to also be seated.

  I jumped up and pointed to the little boy.  "He is the one calling people names.  I am not a monkey.  I am a little girl.  I am Jane not Cheata."  I then looked at his mother and made a statement.  I pointed to the boy's mother, "You are just as nasty as your son.  My mommy is beautiful, she is not a monkey."

  My mommy stood up and waved her hands.   She gave me a very stern look.  "Can someone, and only one person, please tell me what happened?"

  Mr.  Buttery suddenly stood up and said, "I would be glad to dear."  Then he motioned for everyone to once again be seated.  I think Mr. Buttery was impressed with my mommy's beauty.  He began to relate what had lead us all here. "It seems that Jack here was teasing Jane about her name.  He is a big fan of Tarzan.  He said Jane looked more like a monkey than a girl and pulled her down in the mud by her pony tail.  When she got up she had a hand full of mud and tried to make him eat it.  Our teacher on the play ground had to go home because she too was covered in mud by the time she separated the kids."

  My mommy was so pretty even with mud on her shoes, and handbag.  She had a soft but firm voice.  Her manner was pure lady all the way.  "So, this whole thing started because Jack thought it would be all right to put a label on a little girl?"

  My mother then turned to Jack's mother and said, "I am so sorry that my child did not understand that your child was being trained to be unkind and hateful to others.  She ment no harm.  She has been taught to be kind and to help others."

  She then turned to Mr. Buttery, "Your professionalism, sir, is appreciated.  I am going to take my little girl home now and try to help her understand that I am proud that she took up for herself, but especially against a bully.  I will also tell her to do it again if it happens again."

  She turned once more to Jacks mother and shook her head.  "Your son has learned from you very well.  You should be proud that there is another name caller in the world.  We now have another label maker, another bully."

  My mother took my hand and we left the office and went home.  I glanced back and saw Jack and his mom looking down at the floor.  I wondered if they were angry with me or my mom?  Maybe they just might have actually understood why I did what I did.  It was a quiet ride home until we pulled in the driveway.  "So, how much mud did you make him eat?"  I grinned at my mom and she started laughing.  She and grandmother laughed about it the whole time I was being scrubbed.  I look like a sweet little girl again by morning.

  Children copy what they see and hear.  During the entire time I was being scrubbed niether my grandmother or my mom called Jack or his mom a name.  Grandmother referred to her as a poor dear who was just a young mother who did not know better.  Mommy agreed with Grandmother.  I realized that they both did not just say it, they lived it.

  The best part happened in the following days at school.  Jack did not call anyone a name again.  At first I thought he was afraid of me.  But, I saw him stop a kid and tie his shoelace so he would not trip and fall.

  He started coping things I did.  We both helped the teacher and kept a watch for the younger kids on the playground.  He became a very nice little boy who enjoyed helping other people.

  His mom sent a very nice card home to my mom that said she was sorry for her actions.  I guess kindness does work afterall.

Tags: Memories

2 comments View Entry

Tags: Imagination Children

3 comments View Entry

"There is no such place."  Billy was shouting at little Becky.  He was playing his usual Bully Billy routine again.  I had to find away to stop it.  I said a little prayer for help.  How do I reach these wonderful little minds?

"Billy, can you come here a minute." I motioned for him to come to me.  He shuffled his feet as he prepared himself for another lecture about being a bully.  "I think I am going to need you to help me today."  That made him go a little faster.

I raise the volume of my voice to be able to reach the ears of all the children in my care today.  "I want everyone to grab their nap mats and come here in the living room and spread out on the floor."  I went and got in my chair.  "Come on Billy, join me.  There is enough room for both of us here."  I watched as the smug look came across his face.  He was special. He had been chosen to sit with the teacher.

I waited until everyone got settled on their mats.  "Do you mind if we lay down?"  Becky, the one who always wanted to follow the rules was laying down on her mat with her arm tucked under her head like a pillow.

"No, it is fine if you want to lay down, but if you fall asleep you may not hear the end of the story."  I saw their faces light up.  "We are going to have a story time today.  Put your games away and come listen to a story.  You can lay down if you want, like Becky, or you can sit up to make sure you stay awake for the end of the story."

"This is a story about a place called Cloud Kingdom.  It is way up in the sky.  You know when you look up, and you can see the sun peeking through the clouds a little.  That is where Cloud Kingdom is, and it is the home of "Can't-See-Ems."  These are tiny little fairies.  It is their job to keep the traffic up there safe for everyone who flies up there.  They also help anyone who gets lost up there.  This story is about one of."

"There is no such place."  Billy shouted out.  "Like I told ya' Becky.  Alice in Wonderland does not exist either."  He rolled his eyes and waited for me to respond.

"Billy, you want to finish the story?  I will gladly join the kids on the floor and let you finish."  I watched as his face turned red.  He started fidgeting with his hands and taking his hat on and putting it back off again.  "I tell you what, Billy.  If I can prove to you that Alice and Wonderland and Cloud Kingdom do exist, will you not interrupt me again?"

"Sure."  He folded his hands in front of his chest and stuck his chin out a bit.  He thought he had just bullied the teacher.

"There is such a place where both places exist."  I continued with an exercise.  "I want you all to close your eyes a minute.  Can you picture Alice, and the rabbit running checking his watch and shouting he is going to be late"?   I watched as each child could picture both Alice and the rabbit.  Now, picture yourself up in the clouds and the sun peeking through just enough for you to see the Can't-See-Ems flitting about.  You can see them showing the ducks which way to fly.  You can see them chatting with little angels that have found someone who is lost.  Can you see them"?  I watched as grins came across all their faces.

"Billy, children.  Open your eyes.  Do you know where you have been?  You have been in your imaginations.  You can go anywhere in your imagination.  It is a nation after all.  It does exist.  I bet you can even see the rabbit hole Alice used.  The best part of your imagination is you can be big, or small, short, or tall.  You can have wings or halos or magic carpets.  You can climb trees, and you can even see wishes come true."

"Billy, shouted.  I see it.  I see it.  Cloud Kingdom.  The Can't-See-Ems are there too.  Wow."  He was getting excited.

"I have an idea."  I left the room for a minute and came back with paper and pencils.  I gave each child a piece of paper and a pencil.  "I want each of you to write down the rest of the story.  Each of you can make the story what you want it to be.  It is up to you what happens when you get to Cloud Kingdom.  Then after nap time this afternoon we will read everyone's stories."

The kids were so excited.  They all got busy, some went to the table to write and some stayed on their mats and used the floor as a desk.  Billy started to giggle. Inside, I too found a giggle as he snatched the paper and pencil from my hand and dashed off to the table.

"Oh, no."  Billy, held up his hand and waved for me to come over to the table.  "If you can't see em, how do you know what they look like or if they are even there"?  He looked so worried that his story would end before it got started...

"Billy." I whispered  "What do you do when you try to look into the sun?  I watched as his mind replayed the question to him.

"I squint."  He seemed pleased with his answer.

"If you squint sometimes you can see things a little better.  Now, if I lived in a land that was almost constantly in sunlight I would have small eyes and I would squint, so I could see better.  I would think anyone else would have to do the same."  I watched as his mouth flew open, and his eyes got big, and he started squinting around the room.  He was amazed at what he could see when he squinted.

"I see now."  He immediately went back to work on his story as if his pencil was trying to run across the paper.  I patted him on the back as I once again watched my little thinkers hard at work playing in their imaginations.

The one and only purpose for a teacher to do their work is to open the imagination for children.  It is from such a nation that they find cures for diseases, build better mousetraps, and create nations of their own.  Each child can go to a place where there are no limitations, no one is better than they are at anything.  All their wishes can come true there.  Hope lives in the imagination because in the imagination there are endless possibilities.  They can picture and actually see their horizons grow and expand.  I love teaching for that reason alone.  I love helping children discover their own "Imagi-Nations."

I whispered to myself.  "Thank you father for showing me the way to reach your children. Thank you for allowing me to remember how my grandmother responded when I told her I could not see Alice because I would not fit down a rabbit hole.  Thank you, Grandmother, for turning on my imagination.

Tags: Children Teaching Imagination

3 comments View Entry

I am excited. It has been a while since we have all visited the Funny Farm. Grandmother always said I would end up on one or be running a Funny Farm; so, it fits. I can't believe I actually got the sign painted and posted. It has been interesting to say the least. A great place for me to retire. I think George has come to visit more than anyone else. I think the animals bring him some sort of peace. A retired New York cop would find peace on a funny farm... no pun intended.

I have taken the gamble and invited some of my old neighbors to the place. Several have been asking about Loverboy, "the llama who spits" is more to the point.

The police officers who handled him often ask about him, by name. It is amazing how well he and Hamstring get along. They walk everywhere together. I bet their conversations are a hoot. Oh, I know they talk, I have seen them, and they stop when I come close. That is a sure sign.

I know Tarzan has been enchanted with his new surroundings. When you have an African Grey parrot who sings opera, you can't just let him practice in a small town. His habit of making a siren noise also kind of bugs the police chief. Things have been kind of quiet, in town, since I brought Tarzan here.

Today is also special because I have brought Bella, Sweet Pea, Oscar and his wife Grammy with me too. Peanut might like it out here. I hope he does not go mouse hunting. I hope Oscar keeps track of his cat. Did you here what I just said? Oscar is a pet squirrel and Peanut is his pet cat. Oh, well, I guess it is my household that is a bit crazy.

I rented out the house in town and today is my second official day of being retired on "The Funny Farm". I wonder if any of my fur babies will miss the house in town?

It is time all my fur babies met. Sidekick seems to be having fun. He always does. He still likes carrying water to the brood mare next door, so he can nurse her. She sees a horse three feet tall, she assumes it is a colt. Sidekick is four. A miniature horse never had a more devoted fan than Becky. He loves giving her rides, and she loves taking care of him too. He is the perfect horse for a little girl who is a little person, like her mother.  That was a good decision to ask Becky and her mother to stay here with Barbra and be caretakers while I am in the city. I can't believe I said that. The city I live in has a total population of about twelve hundred people. Still, it is a town and this is the country. They can still help me take care of the place, there is plenty of room for all of us.

I think I will start out with a stroll down to the pond. No, I will work on food first. Maybe I should check with the girls and find out if they have plans before I go too far. Mr. Holcomb will be here in about three hours. I hope I drew that map right. I am not going to tell anyone that I got lost again getting here today. That is just my little secret. I know that donkey was laughing at me. He did last time too. Well, it was an easy mistake. What do I know about North and South, I go this away and thata-way? Every place is just over yonder. Gads, Jane, now you are arguing with yourself. Really, get a grip, girl. Don't let him know you are crazy till at least the second date. Well, you are not really crazy, just around the edges. I made myself giggle.

I can see him in my mind. He is real eye candy. That white beard and that wonder mustache that curls a little on each end. I think the bushy eyebrows just add a bit to the rugged face. I bet he is sweet and understanding as he looks. We have emailed a few things back and forth. He loves animals, children. I told him about Betty and Becky being little people, so he would not be caught off guard.

I still wonder why he insisted on meeting me here at the farm? He said he might bring his pet with him too. I hope Bella is polite. She seems to get a little jealous of other dogs. Sweet Pea is too old to be a threat to anyone. We just have to make sure to introduce them slowly. I hope what ever he has is trained.

I have to make sure to remind him if he decides to climb that tree over the pod, he might fall in. If he does, all he has to do is stand up. I can't believe I got caught by that root and screamed for help. Praying out loud, till Barbra showed up and said, "I don't know what you want God to do, just stand up." I stood up and found myself in three feet of water. Still, it made me laugh.

Looks like Barbra has the grill going. I think eating outside is best. That way everyone can be relaxed. I told Mr. Holcomb to honk, and we would open the gate, so he could drive around the back. "Jane, I have the ribs, chicken, and "p, o, r, k", on the grill. I wrapped the sweet potatoes in "b, a, c, o, n", and foil. It does not take them too long to cook, so will put them on last. The corn on the cob is already as well. Do You think we will need a side salad?"

Barbra always laughed when she had to spell words that Hamstring recognized.

He would squeal himself silly if he ever heard either word. I wonder if all pigs are as smart as the potbellied ones.  He kissed George right on the lips.   Hamstring is so smart, he scares himself most of the time. I think that is why he is best friends with a llama who likes to spit on anyone in a uniform. It was a police officer who had to remove the body of his previous owner when she died. Loverboy has hated anyone in uniform ever since.  I think Hamstring and Peanut was a surprise to us all.

"Barbra, I really do not think we need a lettuce type salad. Maybe some mac and cheese on the side will do the trick."

"Will do. I figure your gentlemen friend should be here in about half an hour. You best go get yourself dolled up." Barbra headed to the kitchen to complete the preparations. I had seen Betty and Becky in the barn earlier taking care of the goats and the chickens.

The chickens supply us with fresh eggs since I brought home Rooster, the rooster. Tilly and Jelly, the goats, supply milk. I just wish they did not love butting people. I could let them out more. The little garden out back has been great for the extra food supply. I always have to go to the butcher quietly and sneak the packages into the freezer. It is best the critters don't know we eat meat.

I am ready now. Even my eyelashes are straight this time. One last squirt of perfume, and I am set. I own a farm, but I don't have to smell like one. I heard the honk.

The bongs (I wonder who) from the bells hanging on the gate let me know someone had let Mr. Holcomb in the gate. "OH MY GOD." Mr. Holcomb screamed at the top of his lungs. He has a trailer behind his car. Another llama!! "OH MY GOD, GET THEM AWAY, JANE, JANE; WON'T SOMEONE HELP ME"?

I am trying to get to Mr. Holcomb as fast as I can. I spotted Oscar and Grammy on top of the gate. Likewise, I understand how the gate got open now. Tilly and Jelly are butting him; not exactly. Tilly is butting Mr. Holcomb's hip, but Jelly is butting his car door, so he can't get back into his car. All the critters are having a field day at Mr. Holcomb's expense.

Rooster is on the top of the window of his convertible giving his morning cry. Bella is mooing and sniffing his bottom. He has brought a pet llama with him. A female, yikes!! "YUK". Loverboy is spitting all over him. Hamstring is trying to untie his loafers. "Come on, you side of bacon, leave my shoes alone." Hamstring started squealing so loud I had to cover my ears.

"Sidekick, No. Too late". Sidekick just dumped a bucket of water all over the man's pants.

I yelled for Barbra and anyone in the house to help me. It took a few minutes to calm things down to the point where we could talk. Betty got a hold of Jelly so Mr. Holcomb could get back in his car. He had let his llama out. I wish he had waited till he had pulled around to the back. Oh, well.

Oscar and Grammy scampered to the ground and got on Sweet Pea's back.  I guess they were going to ride back to the house.  Peanut followed close behind them.

About that time, Loverboy spotted HER.  We all had to laugh at the smack noises Loverboy was making. "What is her name"? I shooed the critters away from the car as I closed the driver's door. "You can drive around back when you are ready."

"She is 'Mrs. Holcomb'". He said with a smile. "No, is the answer to your next question. My nephew named her, not me. I told you I have never married. You are warned, she spits at cops. Don't ask me why, she just does."

Just as he started to pull away, Tarzan let out one of his siren. Mr. Holcomb, looked around and got real excited. "Which way are they coming from"? He instantly turned his car around, trailer and all, and headed out the gate. Loverboy stopped smooching just long enough to deliver another spitball. "Yuk!"

"But, Mr. Holcomb, wait..." He was gone. I looked at Mrs. Holcomb, now nuzzling with Loverboy. "Come on gang. We just lost another one.  Looks like we traded one beast for another."

I decided to call the police chief. When I asked him if there was anything exciting going on, he told me that a man with a horse trailer on his car had robbed the grocery store in town at gun point, and they had been looking for him. I told him exactly where to find him. I could tell from the direction he took off in; that he was going to the same place I go when I get lost. What he does not know is there is nowhere to turn around there. I hear real sirens now. Tarzan is chiming in as usual. The dogs are howling, as usual.

"Chief, we are having a cook out. I would love to have you and your whole family come and join us."

"Sure, Jane. I just got word. My guys caught the guy thanks to you. You have a reward coming to you. I wonder how you knew he would be stuck out there with that donkey. My guys mentioned a donkey laughing on the other side of the fence.

This guy has been robbing grocery stores across East Texas for several months. He always seems to disappear. All we could ever find was what looked like the beginning of a petting zoo. You would not believe it, Jane. The last time we thought we had him we found a llama there."

"I would believe it, Chief. Her name is Mrs. Holcomb. Come on by, let me introduce you".

"What"?

"Bring the family, Chief. Have I got a story for you? Remember to bring your umbrella and do not come in uniform."

Tags: Humor Retirement Pets

2 comments View Entry

I stopped celebrating birthdays.  Now, I celebrate when I turned forty-nine.  Next Tuesday will my twenty-first anniversary of that day.

I look back on many such celebrations.  I think about the anniversaries and the ones I simply called my birthday.  My grandmother celebrated anniversaries for many years.  I think she celebrated turning forty-nine for thirty years.  She called it bicycling backwards.  She would say that age is a scorecard for some, an excuse for others, and a reason to rebel for others.  She was the rebel; How did you guess?

The first birthday I celebrated was my sixth.  It fell on Easter Sunday and taught me a great deal about living in a loving home and being loved by all those around me.

As I face my twenty-first anniversary I remember my twenty-first birthday.  It was on a Friday.  April 21, 1972.  My husband and I were living in Oklahoma City.  The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, by Roberta Flack, was playing on the radio.  Bruce and I had been married almost three years.

We had been and still were very much in love with one another.  We were both virgins when we married and discovered how to love one another together.  Each day it seemed we learned to love each other more than the day before.  We had been best friends in high school.  We met in the gifted program.  I had to take the class because (due to Daddy's work) we had to move almost every year.  I had already taken all the "senior" classes by the time I got to that school.  So, I was enrolled into the gifted classes to learn advanced literature and the arts.  Even after getting married, we were still best friends.

He was going to college to be a broadcast journalist.  Bruce had a rich, deep voice that I knew belonged to a future anchor for a national news program.  His voice I often called delicious.  I loved just listening to him. He was really excited about the news, president Nixon, etc.  He was a wonderful writer as well.  His scholarship would pay for one more year before he graduated.  He loved my birthdays because I was six months older than he was.  For six months he would tease me by calling me "his old lady", a term I hated.  He only called me that in private, so I guess I just pretended to get upset.  We had a one-bedroom apartment.  I had my dogs and I think a couple of cats back then.  His nickname for me was Daisy May because of the Beverly Hill Billies. I always had some critter to save.  We had a three speed bicycle for transportation.  I would ride on the handlebars to get to the campus each morning.  Then take the bike back to get to my work.  We were too much in love to feel deprived of anything.  As long as we were together, we were happy.

My grandmother is the one who saved our marriage.  Yes, we were in love.  I was working full time and working as a teachers assistant (to make extra money).  My sleep was necessary and important.  Bruce could snore so loud, when he stayed at the frat house, his housemates made him sleep in a room by himself.  His snoring was making it impossible for me to get any sleep at all.

 I went to my grandmother in tears.  How could I live with a man I could not stand to sleep with.  Sleep being the operative word.  We had no problem in the bedroom other than me being able to sleep there ... with him.  My grandmother gave me the best advice for any marriage.

She said that when you love someone you must learn to love the whole person.  When you learn to love the whole person, knit-picking stops. You cannot hope to have a successful marriage if you only love the good parts.  I took her words to heart. I started looking for good things about his snoring.  Soon I realized his snoring meant he was at peace and resting well.  I wanted him to have restful, peaceful sleep.  I began to love his snoring.  It got to the point that I could not fall asleep myself until I heard him start to snore.  Likewise, I told him about what my grandmother had said, and he bought two tubes of toothpaste.  Mine was the one that was squeezed in the middle.

We were both looking forward to my birthday.  I knew he was trying to get ready for finals as well as my birthday.  It was a special birthday too.  I would get to vote.  I could actually say, "I am of legal age."  Grandmother says that is all anyone needs to know.  In fact, she said that is the only answer to the question, "How old are you?"  That I ever have to say from my twenty-first birthday going forward.

I remember our one and only disagreement Bruce and I ever had.  And, even that was just a mistake.  I had been reading a science fiction novel one night while I was waiting for him to finish his last final and come home.  I was managing a fast food restaurant at the time.  He would always come pick me up to give me a ride home.  He had been teasing me about a new girl that had started to work there.  She was very pretty, and she had flirted with him earlier in the day.  He had made the statement that he would not mind getting locked in the walk-in with her.  I gave him a nasty look, and he assured me he was kidding.  He even said, it would take a deathly virus to make him stop loving me.

I had been reading a science fiction novel about viruses escaping from a lab.  I had just finished the chapter when all the viruses and germs got out of the lab.  I fell asleep.  In my dream Bruce had gone to the restaurant and gotten contaminated with the super bug and was in the cooler with this new girl.  He would not let me in.  I was so upset I threw my hands up.  The gesture woke me up, but just slightly awake.  Bruce had come home, and not wanting to wake me, had undressed and slipped into bed.  When I woke from my dream, I took my pillow and started beating him with it.  He instantly woke up, and we had our first and only fight... until he finally got me completely awake.  We both had a good laugh afterward.

Bruce had not told me his heart had started racing again.  He had his first ventricular tachycardia about three weeks after we first got married.  His heart was pumping so fast it could not pump blood.  This was during the time when the Vietnam War had forced the lottery on the nation.  Vance's lottery number had come up.  He was in college, but he was not taking enough hours to shield him from the draft.  I told him to go to the hospital ER and make sure someone recorded it while it was happening.  The idea was with this on his record, the military would not want him.  I sent him to the ER and I went to work.  The hospital called me at work and told me they had admitted Bruce.  He was in intensive care for several weeks.  He had test after test.  It seems he had rheumatic fever when he was very young.  It had damaged his heart.  He had been taking medication for it since that time.  I did not know he had stopped taking it after we got married.  He had decided since there had been no problems, he was sure he no longer needed the medication. Bruce was released of course and did disqualify for the draft.  Once back on the medication all was well. We had also learned to use meditation to calm him until his heart returned to normal.  I did not realize until he had once again stopped taking the medication a week before my twenty-first birthday.

He had not told me his heart was racing.  We spent the day before my birthday, on a wonderfully romantic picnic.  He had served the peanut butter and jelly (grape) sandwiches.  We also had potato chips and cookies for dessert.  The only meal he knew how to make.  Thank goodness my grandmother had trained me well.  Even back then I knew how to cook.  He had written another poem for me.  We listened to the radio and just enjoyed each other's company.  I think we discussed all the world's problems in one afternoon.  We even danced barefoot in the kitchen.  We started with the twist and ended with a waltz.

He was very tired when we went to bed Thursday night.  We had spent a wonderful day together.  I woke up on Friday morning and realized he had snuggled up to me, with his head on my shoulder.  I opened my eyes and looked down on this man I loved with all my heart.  I leaned down to give him a kiss on his forehead and wake him up.  His body was cool to the touch.  He had just died.  I felt the last warm breath leave him like an unseen ghost. I held him for a long time.  The tears flowed.  I could not seem to let go.  I knew I would never be happy again.  The phone rang, it was my mother calling to wish me happy birthday.  I whispered, "Momma, today I am a widow."  I have learned a great deal during my short marriage with Bruce.  I had learned so very much about life itself.

I learned a great deal from Bruce, my marriage, and life during this time.  Bruce was twenty when he passed.  Life can be very short.  Cherish every single day as if it were the day before your last.  I learned to love the good and 'bad' until my love was for the whole person.  Love is empty if it only includes fair weather days.  I learned even the deepest pain can sometimes bring you peace when you think upon them.  I learned to enjoy the laughter because when it is all over that is what you want to remember the most.  I also learned that when your focus is on the love, the hardships are easier.  I also learned to wake up before you start beating your husband for something he did not do.  What once brought me pain now brings to gratitude for having Bruce in my life.

Tags: Romance Memories Life

2 comments View Entry

"Shuu Shuu, Baby, I want to hear what they are saying."

"One is all I will allow.  It is just too dangerous for both.  While one is out the other will be locked in the closet."  My new grandmother had her hands on her hips.  She did that when she was laying down THE LAW.  Honey, gave her a hug and a nod of her head.

"What are you going to do about...?"

"Jane, I got that covered.  I am going to make a cake from scratch and she will be so distracted to realize what is happening.  I know this will work.  She is just too fast for me to keep up with both of them at the same time.  One out and one in, or... they go back and we just forget the whole thing."

"Okay, Momma, I have to go put my face on.  Good luck.  Call me if you need me.  Alex will be home in time to help take them back if you think it is best.  I know it is Sunday but he can make a run if we need him to."

I could not believe it.  Baby and I had been with them for a while.  Now, they want to send us back.  I felt my heartbreaking.  I hugged my baby and cried as quietly as I could.  I had to think.  She wanted to put one of us in a closet while the other one was out.  She did not understand.  "I am your mommy, I have to protect you."  I have to move slower, she made that clear.  But if they catch me, HE, will take me back.  Oh My.  The closet.  My tummy wants to put stuff up my throat.  We cannot do another closet.  I had to find the closet with the door in it that goes under the house.  I know how to disappear under the house.  I thought having to do this was all over now.

I remember.  The day our big brother, big sister, and little brother met us in the hall at the orphanage.  We hugged each other.  They had said we had to make the hugs last forever.  I have no idea what that is but we all hugged very tight.  Then I watched as the two boys went to one door, my big sister to another.  We all opened the doors in front of us at the same time.   I guess forever is a long time cause we have not seen them since.  How will we survive under the house again without a big brother and a big sister?  They always checked the house to make sure Da was not home.  When he hurt us it hurt for a long time.  Big brother could steal food and get back down the hole quick.  Big sister is the one who usually got caught.  She would get thrown in the closet with her eyes shut.  It took all of us to bring her body down under the house.  We took care of her till she came alive again.  No, we cannot do under the house again without our big brother.  I know we need to hide and hide well.

Wait a minute.  She said something about a cake made of scraps.  I have been helping her cut up all those pieces of cloth into squares so she could sew them back together again.  Now, she is going to make a cake from scraps.  I guess me running in the house and climbing that big tree is what did it.  "Oh, Baby, they are going to send us back to the orphanage.  Maybe they will only keep one of us.  They will keep you for sure.  I have to hide.  If they can't find me they can't send me back.  I can stay under the house for that long.

"Baby, I am putting you here on Grandmother's bed.  You stay still and wait.  I am sure she will find you.  I found the closet I need.  You keep our secret."  

"Secret, Shoo."

"That's right, Baby, Shoo."

Here I go.  There are bugs down here.  I know all about bugs under the house.  I ate my share while we were under the old place.  I hear someone talking.  I also hear them walking.  I know they have found Baby cause that is the room I just heard the walking noise come and go.  I gotta crawl to where ever the opening is for outside.  Oh, there it is.  It has a little window.  What are they doing?  Everyone is running all over the backyard.  They have baskets full of ribbon and flowers.  They are putting all those eggs I helped Grandmother decorate the last three days.  I guess they have not missed me yet.  Oh, I have to stop crying.  I have mud on my face now.  I can't help it.  It hurts when no one wants you.  I remember the lady at the orphanage.  She called me a trash baby.  My mommy had put me in a trash can when I was born and my big brother found me.  I guess my mommy did not want me either.  What is wrong with me?  I am so sleepy.

Boom, Boom... I know whose footsteps they are.  That is Sweetheart.  Honey and Sweetheart kiss a lot.  I guess everyone is getting ready for church now.  Easter Sunday was special they said.  Yeah, some special, they are going to catch me and either throw me in a closet or send me back to the orphanage.  I know one thing for sure, I am not taking a bite of any cake made of scraps.

I hear yelling.  "Where could she be?  Momma when was the last time you saw her?"

"Jane, it was just before we discussed the skates.  I have them in the closet all wrapped up for her birthday.  But, I am still only going to give her one at a time.  Where could she be?"

"I checked all over the backyard.  Honey, we have everything but the birthday girl.  Even the Easter eggs are hidden.  Her special birthday cake is done, ice cream made.  We don't have a birthday girl.  Momma, are you sure about the skates?  I can take them back and get something else."

"No, Dear, but I am still..."

"I know, one at a time."

"Secret, Shoo."  

"What, Baby?  She turned to Grandmother, "Look, Momma, she is tugging on my dress.  She said secret and then did the shoo with her finger to her lips.  Do you think she knows where our little birthday girl is?"

"Where is she, Baby?"   Come on all you guys maybe she will show us.

I heard the door in the floor of the closet open.  I knew I had to be very quiet. "Has the Easter Bunny been down here?  Where is my special Sweetheart?"

I could not keep my tears back.  I opened the little door to the backyard and crawled out.  I had dirt all over me.  I will just go very slow so maybe they will change their minds.  Maybe they will keep me.  I hope so.  I love them all so much.

"OH, Dear God, Look at you."  Honey was scooping me up and hugging me tightly.  She did not seem to care that she was getting dirt on herself.  "You are my little angel.  We have a surprise for you."

"I know."  I could not help the tears.  I could not stop crying.  Grandmother and Sweetheart came running out the back door.  Grandmother grabbed me.  I did not understand.  She was holding me so tight I could feel her heart beating.   I started to wiggle and tried to get away.  "No closet, I will be good.  Please, I will be good.  Don't send me back."

"What, are you talking about?"  Grandmother had let me go.  She seemed to be hurt because I was afraid of her.  Sweetheart and Honey listened as I repeated, word for word the conversation I had heard.  The expression on their faces told me it was going to be okay.

"Grandmother, please, I don't want a cake made from scraps."  I tried to let her know I did not eat cloth.  I could only hope she understood.  "Why did you hide all the decorated eggs in the backyard?"  I looked up to all of them with dirt on my clothes.  Streaks of dirt from the tears that had rolled down my face.  All of a sudden, up I went into their arms.  Sweetheart was holding me and Honey had her arms around both of us.

"We love you.  We are going to keep you forever.  Today is your birthday and it happens to be Easter Sunday.  So, we are going to have an Easter Egg hunt for your birthday.  We are going to get all cleaned up and go to church.  Then your Sunday school class will come back here for the party."  I got a big hug from all three of them.  I looked down and there was Baby, with her finger on her lips.

"What is a birt-day?  I never had one a-afore."  I had no idea what a birt-day was but it must be important for the Easter Bunny to come.  I was so confused.

"We are celebrating the day you were born."  Honey tried to stop me.  I started wiggling and trying to escape.  I did not want to be put in the trash can.

"No trash can, please.  I don't want to be a trash baby."  I was frantic and frightened.  They had no idea how that day haunted me ever since that lady at the orphanage had labeled me a "trash baby".  I started crying so hard I had to bury my face in Sweetheart's shoulder.

"No, No, you are my special angel.  You are ours forever.  We love you.  I want to be your mommy."  Honey, caught her breath the minute she said that.

"No, I am Mommy.  Baby is my baby.  She knows I am Mommy."  I saw the tears roll down Honey's face.  She knew that my birthday was not the only challenge they were facing.

"That is right.  You are my Special Sweetheart.  I remember."  She took me from Sweetheart and gave me a big hug.  We both wiped our tears and she gave me a kiss.

"Secret, Shoo."

"Right, Baby, you don't keep secrets too good."  I felt a giggle come out.  It must have been contagious because everyone laughed at the same time.

After I got all cleaned up.  I got to put on a new dress for church.  We got all ready to leave and then I heard Honey say, "Let's see if your ruffles are straight."  Baby and I turned our backs to her and bent over so Grandmother could straighten the ruffles on our panties.  I was so happy.  Just think I am going to have a birthday.  I never had one of those before.  Yeah!!  I guess I will try the cake too.  Grandmother reminded me while we were getting the dirt off, she cooks with love.  You can't go wrong when you cook with love.  That is what she said.

She had broken my heart and put it all back together again.  I felt a little like Humpty Dumpty.  Best of all, I felt Loved.  Oh, and before I forget.  I got skates for my birthday.  But Grandmother will only let me have one.  It is very hard to skate with only one.  Baby was sneaky.  She reached in the box and got out both her skates.  She put them on and skated straight into a tree where she tied herself up.  She could not fall but she had both skates on at the same time.

My first birthday, my first Easter.  April 21st, 1957.  What a day!!

I am coming up on my 70th birthday.  It made me look back on the first time I celebrated my day of birth.  My memories for years were haunted because of the troubled waters in which I was born.  To put it in simple words I have been fighting since the day of my birth.

I was chosen out of many, many children and adopted by a loving family.  My real sister was adopted with me.  We got to grow up together and are still close today.  I had to learn how to redefine myself but more importantly, I had to learn to redefine love and what being loved was all about.  I had to learn how to love.  My spirit was, as my grandmother use to say, was the spirit of a rebel.  I always fought for the underdog, those being bullied, those feeling unloved.

Now I fight for all those who are now living in this storm we call retirement.  We are in different boats but in the same storm.  None of us could control our beginnings.  We can control how our stories end.  We can control what we leave behind.  Our legacy is the key.

I hesitated posting this blog here since no one seems to read or comment on them any more.  But the day was special to me so I wanted to share it.

Celebrate the laughter in your life.  Celebrate the love in your life.  All of it.  Not just what you have now, but what you have gathered along the way.  You cannot lose love if you carry it in your heart.  When you share it, it multiplies.

Tags: Memories Growing Up Love

3 comments View Entry

"Now, watch him. He is going to walk over to that mare and nuzzle her. See, he is doing it. She thinks he is a colt and is letting him, nurse. "His name should be ConMan. He is one horse that has made the most of being one yard tall. I think I am the only one who knows he is four years old. Even the milk cow will let him, nurse."

"You, have to admit, Barbra, he is adorable."

"What is he doing now with that bucket? When he was in the sideshow he carried the water bucket for the clowns to put out the fire. Even now he loves to carry buckets of water around. That is how he gets the mares to stop. He puts down the bucket of water. They stop to drink. He nurses while they drink."

"Betty, he is adorable, that is why he is still here after four years. He is so sweet, the other animals here on the farm seem to really like him. He even nuzzles Hamilton, the pig."

"I have dreamed of living in a place like this. Brian and I have really loved taking care of it. I do not know if the new owner will want to keep me on now that Brian is gone. Betty, how is Becky taking Brian's death?"

"You know, Barbra, she loved her daddy. Your brother was without a doubt the best father. He was not a little person. He knew there was a chance our baby would be like me. He did not care. I really thought the baby would be a boy and be like his father. You know, small framed but without the dwarfism. I really do not know what we will do now. Our little house seems so empty without him. Becky just wants to come here. She loves this place. Brian's death and now a new owner could take away all she has ever known."

"Well, we can only dream, but I think we will do some wishing too. Is it time to go get her from preschool?"

"That school is so far away. She hates it there. Everything is too big for her. She has no friends. What can I do?"

"You are right Barbra.  Dreams and wishes with some real praying just might help us come up with some answers."

"Betty, I need to meet with the new owner to see if I sleep here tonight or if you have a new house guest."

"Is that her I see out by the pond?"

"Yeah, she is a widow and her name is Jane. That is all I know."

I can not believe I did this. I sold my home in town and now own a farm. All because the previous owner wanted to hurt Loverboy. Am I crazy? I realize that the scientists have discovered natural antibodies in llama blood, but they do not have to kill the animal to draw blood. I just could not let it go. When I found out I did not even think. I offered her enough money for the place she had to say okay. All she wants to do is travel anyway. So, take the money and run, you silly gal, I got my dream and you got your wish. I guess that is the caretaker up there. I wonder who the other woman is? I think I understood that one was a small person that had been married to the other one's brother.

This pond is beautiful. I love the way that old tree grows almost sideways out over the water. I see some of the livestock have decided to follow me. I now am the proud owner of a miniature goat, a llama, a miniature horse, four broodmares, one stallon, one rooster, six hens, an African grey parrot named Frank, a raccoon named Zoro, and of course I brought Bella, Sweetie Pie, and the two squirrels, Oscar and Grammy. Bella has not stopped playing in that front corral since we got here. Sweet Pea is trying to catch up on kissing all of them.

I think what I am going to do is crawl out on that trunk and see what I can see from up there. It has been a long time since I climbed a tree. I made myself laugh, all I gotta do is walk up the ramp it makes. Oh, oh, NO! That is just great. What do I do now? I am almost up to my shoulders in the water. My foot seems to be caught on something. I can't get out.

"HELP, HELP." I don't know if the ladies can hear me. I look at all the animals looking at me in the water. They are leaving. "Wait, won't someone stay with me?" I feel silly. I can't get loose. "Please, dear Father, HELP me." I guess I am glad it is a warm day. Yes, I will count my blessings. What is that I am seeing? I see Loverboy coming back. I see Hamilton carrying something. "Please, dear Father, HELP me." Great, Loverboy just tossed me both ends of a rope. I know God will save me. What is Hamilton got? It is a floating device. Loverboy is trying to toss it to me. "Never mind guys, God will save me." I can not believe it. Loverboy, Zoro the raccoon, and the little goat are rolling a fallen log out to me. That is so sweet. They are trying to help me. "It is okay, guys, God is going to save me."

I see one of the ladies coming. "Hello, I am Barbra. You need to stand up."

"God will save me."

"Lady, you got a rope, a floating device, and a log. I do not know what you want God to do. All you gotta do is stand up."

I stood up to find I was in four feet of water. My foot had been caught on a root that had grown across the pond before the water-filled. I felt so silly.

"My name is Jane. You have been the caretaker?" I held onto the floating device to steady myself as I stepped out of the water. I noticed the rope laying there with both ends floating in the water. I followed it with my eyes and saw it was tied around the trunk of the tree. Apparently, others have fallen off the tree into the lake. I don't feel so silly anymore. Except for not seeing how many solutions I had been given and ignored. "Let's go up to the house and chat."

Barbra seemed to be a very pleasant woman. I liked her manner. She loved to laugh. I think she is a kindred spirit. "I am going to go get out of my wet clothes."

"I'll make us some hot coffee or tea if you wish, Jane."

"Coffee and that would be great." I sure was glad I still had my jeans laid out. I think I am making some decisions here. Bang, Bang... "There is someone at the door, can you get that for me, Barbra?"

"Betty, come on in. You will get to meet, Jane. She is the new owner of the place. She has had the pond's baptism. Although, the critters knew exactly what to do.?

I could hear another woman talking to Barbra. I could barely hear them. I heard that squeal... It was a little girl. I walked into the room as Loverboy was giving her a little snuggle. Sweet Pea decided to kiss her too as Bella was cleaning her fingers. "You silly critters, at least introduce yourselves one at a time."

"You are big." Such a tiny thing, I thought.

"Becky, you shouldn't say things like that."

"You are right, Becky. My name is Jane."

"This is my mommy. This is my aunt. Do you sing?"

"Hello, I am Betty. I am Barbra's sister-in-law. My husband and Barbra have been caretakers here for many years. I thought you might have some questions about the place I could help answer."

"I appreciate that Betty. I guess you three are known as the "B" girls. Betty, Barbra, and Becky make three "B's" Gives new meaning to having a bee in my bonnet. Oh, good, they laughed."

"Do you sing?" Becky was so tiny. I judged Betty to be almost four feet tall. Becky could not be more than eighteen inches tall. "Why do you ask?"

"My mommy always says nothing is over until the fat lady sings."

Betty just turned beet red. "Please, do not be offended. She is at the stage that she just says whatever pops into her head."

"Betty, what do you do?" I had decided I was not offended. I am a big girl.

"Jane, I worked as an accountant to put myself through veterinary school. I do get calls for some pets but I still work as an accountant in town."

"Do you own or rent your home?" I knew I was being personal but I had an idea that just might work out for all of us. I just pray I wish, my new dream would come true.

"Let me propose an offer to both you Betty and you Barbra. You may have to think about this for a while. This farm is far too big for me to handle alone. I retired as a teacher for children with special needs." I saw a big smile come across Betty's face. I also saw her shoulders relax a little. I heard Barbra sigh and squeeze her hands.

"Do you get paid for being old?" Becky was very curious. I bet she is full of good ideas. I know what that is like.

"Yes, I do, Becky. It is called Social Security." We all laughed when I said that. "I would like to purpose that if you and Becky will move into the house with me. And you, Barbra that you continue living here and being the caretaker." I watched both women. I was nervous. I hated putting them on the spot but I was not sure what I wanted to do until I saw Becky. Now I know what all my training has to lead up to. What it was for. My work with special needs children, my work with the animals.

"We would love to." They both said it at the same time almost shouting. "Yes."

"That is not all. I want to turn the empty stall in the barn into a school for little people. Children and adults. I want to teach computer classes, accounting classes, writing classes, language classes. I want the little ones to know they do not have to grow up and be entertainers unless they want to play an instrument or sing. I want to give adults a choice. I realize I may have to brush up on some new techniques but I still have my credentials."

"What do you think? I also want to set everything up into a trust. So that when I am gone, you ladies can carry on for as long as you want."

I ran out of breath. I wanted to get my new dream out. I was taking my new wish and waving it about. Suddenly, Loverboy came over and put his head on my shoulder. The front door flew open and Sidekick just pranced into the room. He and Loverboy nuzzled each other.

I looked at Becky and saw her there on the floor. Sidekick, the horse had let everyone inside. Becky was surrounded by Billy, the goat. She also had Loverboy, the llama, Frank, and Zoro. Oscar and Grammy, my two squirrels had even joined the party. Bella and Sweet Pea nuzzled Sidekick. "Look, Mommy, all my friends are just my size." Becky was giggling and trying to pat everyone on the head. I watched Betty, I saw the tear she quickly wiped away. I knew this was right.

I promise you ladies I will not sing. I will turn on some music and we can dance. "Today is my birthday, I am five today." Becky held up one hand all spread out.

"Happy birthday, Becky. If you all join in, we could sing Happy Birthday to you." I think they all realized why I said I do not sing. Both the dogs put their noses in the air and howled. I had also noticed that Bella was back at doing her moo, moo. She had been raised by a cow. She has been mooing ever since. "How about I give you Sidekick as your very own. We can have a saddle made and you can learn to ride him. Would you like that?"

Becky clapped her hands. "I have wished for that all my life." Becky stood up and gave Sidekick a big hug. "I have dreamed about it too."

"That is what it is all about. Dreams and wishes. And recognizing when God is already helping you... his way."

Tags: Dreams Wishes Prayers Planning

0 comments View Entry

When I was about eight years old my little sister asked me a question I had asked myself for several years. I considered myself her guardian since her birth. We had spent two years in an orphanage. We were adopted together when I was five and she was three. I too had been curious about a rabbit that laid chicken eggs... decorated chicken eggs. Now, no one had ever been able to give me an answer I could accept. I always told my sister either the absolute truth or something that would comfort her.  I had decided this was one time I would have to make it up as I went along. This is what I told her... it still might be true.

It all started in Germany in the 13th Century on a small farm. Easter was coming and the family was getting ready. Easter Dinner was always special because everyone was invited. It was like an annual family reunion. Everyone brought a dish to contribute to the meal. The farmer's wife always bought a chick in the Spring then raise it all year. She would fatten her up so she would be at her biggest for the Easter meal.

One particular year the young chick, who had been named Candy, had grown into one of the most popular members of the barnyard residents. The horses liked her. She helped clean tiny pebbles out of their hooves.  The pigs liked her because she did not eat pig food and she was very pleasant to them no matter how much mud got on them. The donkeys liked her because she knew the difference between a donkey and a horse. The goats liked her because she would play games with them and never complain if one of the kids stepped on her toes... But, her best friend was a rabbit she had found hiding in the barn one day. It seems some hunters were following the young rabbit. When Candy realized what was happening she started clucking around and fluttering up one side of the barn to the other. She got the other animals to join her in distracting the hunters.  They kept getting in the way until the hunters finally gave up.

Candy had spent her entire year doing favors for the other animals and it had created a very friendly atmosphere for all of them. She would peck at the hooves of the horses and donkeys to help them wake up before their master came to get them to work. It was much easier on them if they actually woke up before someone slapped a saddle on them. She would bring bits of string or fetch anything anyone needed (that would fit in her little beak). She enjoyed helping the others. This particular week all of her friends seemed very sad. They all knew she would not be around after Sunday. It was going to be Easter Sunday.  They all knew none of the chicks ever stayed after Easter Sunday.  They went into the house and disappeared.

Chocolate, her bunny friend, finally asked the other members of the barnyard why they were so sad. You see, Chocolate lived in a small forest not far from the farm. She would come every day and play with Candy. They would play hide and seek to help Chocolate practice staying away from the hunters. They were best friends. Chocolate found out that Candy was going to disappear on Sunday. Chocolate decided she would have to come up with a solution to save her friend. She went home to her family in the forest one evening. It was time to start Spring cleaning the rabbit holes.

Spring was when the rabbit homes were very busy with new babies, losing their winter coats, and finding food. Chocolate would always bring home food she found on the farm. She was so worried about her friend, Candy. Her family gave her an idea when she was cleaning out the underground home. She had swept all the fur they had shed. She was so excited. She got with the other mothers in her group and asked them to give her all the fur in their homes. Chocolate had figured out how she was going to save Candy.

She arrived at the barnyard early one morning. Chocolate hopped all over the barnyard with excitement. It took some real convincing but she finally talked Candy into coming home with her. It took Candy a while to get there because chickens do not hop too well. Chocolate's family and friends worked all night dressing Candy up by using some honey left by some bees and sticking their fallen winter coats all over her. Rabbit ears were made of two leaves that were shaped just right and coated with the fur as well. They did the same for the little round tail. Everyone was so excited. Candy looked just like a bunny. It took the rest of the night to teach her how to hop.  A tiny rosebud for her nose completed the disguise.

The next day Chocolate and Candy made their way back to the barnyard. The barnyard residences were delighted when her friends realized the bunny that had come with Chocolate was indeed their friend Candy. Now, there were a couple more elements needed. You see Candy had not told anyone that her husband, Sprinkles, lived on another farm down the road. He was a fine rooster. However, Candy was going to be a mother. She mentioned this problem to the rest of her friends. How was she going to hide her eggs?

The horses and the donkeys came up with the solution. They would hide the eggs in the hay but they needed to be able to move them quickly if the farmer's wife searched near the hay bales. The pigs decided that they could cover the eggs with mud to camouflaged and blend into their surroundings. The horses did not like that idea at all. Flowers would work. Wildflowers were gathered from the field to put over the eggs upon their arrival. One of the donkeys took off her straw hat and turned it upside down.  It makes a wonderful basket complete with a pretty ribbon that had been used to tie it.  Baskets of wildflowers and hay would be a good place to hide Candy's eggs. Everything had been set. It was the Saturday before Easter Sunday.  It had been decided that after Easter Candy would go live with her husband on the other farm.  The whole barnyard knew a new chick would take her place anyway.

The farmer's wife came out to the barn looking for Candy. She threw grain on the ground and called and called. Candy was not to be found. She did not recognize Candy sitting in the corner. The little girl who came out to play with Chocolate squealed, "Look, Mommy, we have a new bunny. Now, my bunny won't be so lonely." Her mother looked at the bunny in the corner, Candy wiggled the rosebud just enough. The woman thought for just a second. "We could always serve rabbit...but my daughter would never forgive me for that one." No, chicken and no rabbit. This you would think was an Easter miracle but only if you are a bunny... laying eggs.

Easter Sunday came. The bunny in the barn had left several eggs which the farmer's wife had found in a basket of hay covered with wildflowers.  Some of the colors from the wildflowers had stained the eggs making them look decorated.  Candy's husband Sprinkles told her that she could lay more eggs like the other hens at the farm where he lived. The farmer's wife noticed there was enough to prepare an omelet large enough to feed her family. That was the last time the farmer ever served chicken for Easter Sunday dinner.

So, Candy left her eggs and she and Chocolate had a new routine now.  Candy would supply the eggs and Chocolate would take them to the barnyard only once a year.  No more chicks were there but there had been Chocolate promised to help get it to Candy for safety.  Sometimes she enjoyed visiting with her old friends and leaving the eggs for the family.  The story of Chocolate and Candy was born. The Easter miracle of the bunny who left them eggs in a basket of flowers was told and retold until it became the legend we know today.

That is what I told my little sister. No one has ever told me anything that would make me believe it was not the truth.  I have never heard an Easter that did not include talk about Chocolate, Candy, and sometimes even Sprinkles is mentioned.

Tags: Easter Rabbits Chickens

1 comments View Entry

 My pa was always my hero whether I needed one or not.  I look across the field, where the bluebonnets grow.  I can see him smiling and opening his arms to catch me. 

Tags: Memories Values Fathers

1 comments View Entry