About a year ago I moved to this tiny town. Little did I know at the time the town had its characters as my grandmother would call them. People with reputations the whole town knew about... everyone but the new comers.
I met one such person on my first trip to the local grocery store. I had my buggy and my list. I went up and down each isle at first just to get the lay out of the store. Then I got serious about my shopping. I was concentrating on my list. I was not paying any attention to anyone else or anything else for the matter. I went to the big bin for cheeses, etc. and bent in to pick up a block of cheddar.
Suddenly, without any warning a man scooted up behind me and whispered in my ear, "Want ta' spoon, Honey?" I was so startled I straightened up and spun around to see who was so forward. It was a man with a mustache and a very devilish grin on his face.
I am sure my cheeks were flushed as I tried to regain some composure. I looked at him and said, "Please, Sir, leave me along. I am not buying anything you got to offer." I then quickly grabbed my buggy and walked swiftly away to another isle. I continued without incident for a couple more isle and finally shrugged it off. I told myself he probably had dementia of some sort. I turned to go down the row that had eggs, milk, butter, etc. Out the corner of my eye I noticed he was following me. There was a store mirror at one end that showed him slowly coming up behind me again.
Just before he got close enough to touch me again I turned to confront him. I was calm. I felt this situation did not call for hysteria. He started to say something to me, and I put my hand up, palm out and said, "Sir, have you ever had egg all over your face?"
His eyes widened and he was so surprised at my response. He cleared his throat and grinned a bit. He stroked his mustache, wagged his head a bit and said, "No, lady, why do you ask?"
I pulled an egg out of the carton in my buggy and smashed it on his nose. Then very evenly, said, "Now, you have. Please leave me alone. I am going for the bug spray next."
He giggled a bit as he tried to stop the egg running down his face and into his mustache. I walked away without looking back.
Nothing else happened during the rest of my shopping. I got ready to check out and saw the man standing just inside the door. He tipped his hat to me and bowed. The cashier was laughing under her breath. She ask me, you the one who smashed an egg on Romeo's face? I confess with an affirmative head shake. She went on to say he has been here for a few years and stands there at the door looking for new comers. You must be the new widow in town. I simple answer; "I'm new to town and I am a widow." She said I told him one of these days someone one is going to do something about one of your passes on our older female patrons. He always seems to disappear so quickly no one can catch him at it.
She ask, "How did you do it?" I looked at her and replied "Once you get the egg; "It is all in the wrist."
I have seen him several times since on my trips to the grocery. He always tips his hat but never approaches.
Tags: Life Dating Memories Humor
