I wasn't scared of much when I was growing up. Snakes, bugs, high places, etc. never bothered me. No, It was some people who scared me. Mostly people I didn't know, people who looked different, who made strange sounds, who were big, short, or talked different. Yep, Snakes and animals didn't scare me but people did. I think I now know that some, (not all) animals can be better more loyal friends that any human can.
There was a lady who lived up on the hill above us who was another one that scared me to tears. We could see her big house on the hill and I had it in my mind that house had to be a house of horrors. A huge two story house. Dark and forlorn sitting up there looking down on us. It had probably never had a coat of paint on it so with time the wood had turned dark gray, almost black. I had never been close to the house but I had seen the lady many times.
She lived up there with her Mother who was never outside the house. I knew later she was never out because she was not able. Her daughter took care of her. But I imagined all kinds of things.
We saw her at Wallace Key's store where we saw everyone else. She was big, short, and looked like she was rolling down the road instead of walking. You could hear her as she came grunting, groaning, and what I called snorting. She was just trying to get her breath as she walked. She was old and she was huge, and she was childlike. Never married and alone except for her Mother and a Brother down in the holler who seemed ashamed of her. She was a poor, sweet, gentle soul, but as a child I didn't recognize that fact. To me she was just simply scary. Scared the wits outta' me.
Brenda and I were in the store one day when she came in. She was shy I think but she would always smile at us. Brenda was not scared of her though I had tried many times to convince her she should be and I sure wasn't gonna let her know I was scared.
"Let's go Brenda." "No Clydene, I'm gonna get me some candy". "Brenda come on, we don't need any candy, let's go". "Clydene stop bothering me, if you want to go then go on, what in the world is wrong with you anyhow"? I grabbed Brenda by the arm and tried to pull her by force but she was stronger than me. She jerked loose and I fell backwards right on The lady's foot. I can still see the view as I looked slowly up and all I could see was big woman her big club like arms, and her dark blue dress. Iwas too breathless to say a word because of having the breath knocked outta' me falling. All I saw was that big club of a hand coming down toward me. "OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOODNESS! I might have been out of breath but I got my second wind fast. I mean FAST!! I started scootin' backwards on the plank floor(not an easy task) and found splinters in my but later though I didn't even feel them then. I'm quiet sure I looked like a craw dad backing up fast. I still wasn't utterin' a sound from my tremblin' lips. I backed in to Brenda and knocked her down but I just scooted on around her. I couldn't get my footing so I just kept scootin' backwards all the time trying but failing to gain my feet. My Mama was not there to rescue me and Brenda sure wasn't gonna do it so I was on my own as I saw it.
The lady started toward me and I gained my feet then sure as shootin'. I was outta' there. As I ran down the steep steps of the store I could hear Brenda yelling for me to wait. Nothin' doin' I'm going home and I'm gettin' there fast. Brenda caught up with me and was shaming me but I didn't care, I had escaped with my life. "She was trying to help you up stupid" Brenda told me. Nope! I was not havin' any of that Heck fire no. I remained scared of the poor old woman and stayed away from her from then on. Yep!!
Well folks it didn't end there. Heck no that wasn't to be.
When I got married the first time I was still just a young foolish girl but I didn't know it. My future husband and I went to visit someone who had a house for rent. We rented the house sight unseen for $15.00 per month. We knew the people, knew they wouldn't lie to us, and fifteen dollars was as good as we could get. Besides it was a mile from my Parents house. That was all I needed to hear. But oh my gosh when I saw the house for the first time it was right next door from that big ol' scary house where The woman and her Mother lived. What made it worse was that we were told that she was allowed to carry water from the well right outside my kitchen door.
I stayed inside for several days. No TV, no radio, no phone, toilet out back which I ran to and ran back in with a hammer in my hand. Yep, sure did. I was so lonely. Coulda' walked to visit Mama but I was actually afraid to pass the house. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
I could hear Her coming when she came for water and I hid in the bedroom. One day she knocked on the door. It was hot and I had no fans or AC. so the door was open to let some air in, the screen door was latched. I peeked around so I could see her standing there but she couldn't see me. She was looking in the screen and she had two jars in her hands. Well now I was taught to welcome people to my home, and I was taught manners, so that won out. I went to the door and She had two jars of jam and a big smile. She told me how glad she was to have me there in her lilting, scratchy voice and that she had brought me some blackberry jam. What could I do? I opened the door (although with reluctance) took the jam she was holding out to me, said how much I appreciated it, and she was on her way. As simple as that a lonely young girl became friends with two lonely old women and made my time there easier. I visited in their house, scary and drab outside, but warm and homey inside. Here I was old enough to know better and I was still learning. I'm still learning new things and I hope I never stop learning as long as The Good Lord keeps me here. YEP! That's the way of things. Sure nuff'.
Tags: Fear
