I was in a store yesterday evening getting some things we needed bread being the main thing I was a little tiffed because Don waited till I got home from Church before he told me we needed bread. “Why didn't you tell me sooner?” And he starts this condescending tone that ruffles my feathers fast and says “Now how was I going to tell you when you were not here”. Oh good grief I do have a cell phone with me at all times. It wouldn't have rang in Church but a simple message would have cause me a lot less hassle. I just let that go and headed back out in the hot day. I thought to myself that I'd just take my time and look around since it was a Dollar General and has everything. It being a holiday weekend there weren't many stirring. Just me and two others in the store.

I wandered around a spell, got bread and a bunch of other stuff, and sauntered on up to the check out. Now there were only three shoppers in the store and one check out girl. Shouldn't be a problem. RIGHT? Well heck all three of us decided to leave at the same time. I was second in line, with a man behind me, and a lady in front of me. I started smelling a stinch. Now I had already observed that the man had been out working in the hot day and he was dirty and sweaty so I tried to just hold my breath. I mean, after all the poor feller couldn't help sweating and that stinks after a while. I can't really blame the poor guy for that. But when I heard a loud succession of “Flop Flop, Flop, Flooop and a big sigh from the guy I knew that warn't no sweat stinch. Heck fire that guy was ______ Well you know. I was thinking ,Oh hurry little girl and get us checked out of here.
The lady in front of me looked back at me. I thought Oh My Gosh, that woman thinks I did That!!! How in the heck do I convince her otherwise. I used my eyes to let her know the man behind me was the culprit not me. Then out of the deep dark recesses of my warped mind the words of that Alka-Seltzer jingle came up in my mind and I said “Plop Plop Fizz Fizz Oh what a relief it is."OH good lord Why in the world did I say that. Oh My, What if he follows me out of the store and throttles me?
The Lady in front of me looked back again and the look on her face set me off in a giggle fit. She was checked out and she took off like all the demons in hell were after her. I had several things in my cart I told the check out girl I was sorry (Or some such thing) and put my stuff up there. She seemed to hurry. Probably was afraid I was going to get us all in trouble because I could see she was trying to hide a full blown smile.
I never looked back but I almost ran out of there with my purchases and left the store as fast as I could. I mean this ol' gal got out of Dodge. Yep!

Tags: Milk Stink Shopping