NEW DISEASE CAUSING CONCERN

The CDC has announced an outbreak of chicken feet in 6 states now: New Hampshire, Wyoming, New York, Texas, Nebraska, and Florida. This highly contagious disease , although rarely lethal leaves its victims maimed for life ,essentially ending the sports careers for any existent or hopeful athletes.

Chicken feet is caused by the Varicella Zoster virus, the same little guy who infected so many with chicken pox as children. Although, there is no cure, except for feet transplants, and aside from covering up the feet with Michael Jordan sneakers, the CDC recommends trimming your claws, boiling your toes, and then braising or steaming them. This treatment can help in such activities as swimming and scuba diving.