In
an effort to help those who are having a problem with the latest
computer technology, this book is made available free of charge to all
on 'The Hill'
by the generosity of The Red Devil.
Lesson No. 1
Lesson No.2
Lesson No.3
Lesson No.4
Lesson No.5
Lesson No.6
Lesson No.7
Lesson No.8
Lesson No.9
Lesson No.10
Lesson No.11
Lesson No.12
Lesson No.13
Lesson No.14
Lesson No.15
Lesson No.16
Lesson No.17
Lesson No.18
Lesson No.19
Lesson No.20
Lesson No.21
Lesson No.22
Lesson No.23
Lesson No.24
Lesson No.25
Lesson No.26
That is it folks. I hope that you learned something here.
Some Explanatory Notes.
The long paddock = The road.
In times of drought, cattlemen could drive/agist their cattle along the road but were required to complete a set distance per day. This continues until cattle are sold or drought breaks in the outback.
Swaggy (Swagman)
During the world depression, hungry, homeless men / women would wander the country roads looking for work or at least something to eat. Their worldly possessions were in a swag on their back. Swaggy or tramp now refers to people who largely camp on the road, eg. drovers , truckies etc.
The Ringer =
The fastest shearer in the shearing team.
Star Trucker =
Star Trecker. Some truckies pushed themselves so hard that over a long distance or time that at times they hallucinated. Another true story.
Kelly’s offsider =
Famous female truckie who spent most of her life on the road from times when roads were sandy tracks for thousands of miles. She soon drove a truck for Kelly as his business grew and she drove the long mailruns with not only the mail but practically everything else the outback people required to survive in those days. She was loved and respected by all Truckies and outback population. When she died it was a national sorrow.
Dingo =
Australian native wild dog
Lookin’ Forward - Lookin’ Back
was I think the last song that Slim wrote (and sang) before he died. It was obviously referring to his life.
Please, I would like some feedback if you like it.
Well, ........ that's it for me. I am off to bed now.
It has been a looong day and I'm feeling completely drained and light headed. In fact, I must look aweful because I feel just like death warmed up.
Goodnight all!
NEWS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS TO MY FRIENDS
An Aussie Poem
The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock The cocky took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock. He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs, The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams.
He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank And saw a ewe down in the dam, a few yards from the bank. 'Typical bloody sheep,' he thought, 'they've got no common sense, 'They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence.'
The ewe was stuck down in the mud, he knew without a doubt She'd stay there 'til she carked it if he didn't get her out. But when he reached the water's edge, the startled ewe broke free And in her haste to get away, began a swimming spree.
He reckoned once her fleece was wet, the weight would drag her down If he didn't rescue her, the stupid sod would drown. Her style was unimpressive, her survival chances slim He saw no other option, he would have to take a swim.
He peeled his shirt and singlet off, his trousers, boots and socks And as he couldn't stand wet clothes, he also shed his jocks. He jumped into the water and away that cocky swam He caught up with her, somewhere near the middle of the dam
The ewe was quite evasive, she kept giving him the slip He tried to grab her sodden fleece but couldn't get a grip. At last he got her to the bank and stopped to catch his breath She showed him little gratitude for saving her from death.
She took off like a Bondi tram around the other side He swore next time he caught that ewe he'd hang her bloody hide. Then round and round the dam they ran, although he felt quite puffed He still thought he could run her down, she must be nearly stuffed.
The local stock rep came along, to pay a call that day. He knew this bloke was on his own, his wife had gone away He didn't really think he'd get fresh scones for morning tea But nor was he prepared for what he was about to see.
He rubbed his eyes in disbelief at what came into view For running down the catchment came this frantic-looking ewe. And on her heels in hot pursuit and wearing not a stitch The farmer yelling wildly 'Come back here, you lousy bitch!'
The stock rep didn't hang around, he took off in his car The cocky's reputation has been damaged near and far So bear in mind the Work Safe rule when next you check your flocks Spot the hazard, assess the risk, and always wear your jocks!
ABOUT ME
Aah -- Welcome! It's about time that you mob came in to see me. I have had numerous visits from total strangers, (who are of course welcomed and encouraged) but none from my earthly friends of so many years. Anyway, now that you have turned up, some of our other friends may follow. Apart from making you welcome, I wanted to show you around a bit so that you will feel comfortable, and maybe even come to join us here. I haven't been here long, (seems just like the other day) but given a bit of time, I hope to tidy the joint up a bit. It could take a while though because I am still finding my way around here and getting ideas on how put some extensions on the place to make you more comfy. I've got to build a couple of rooms for you mob to sit in and have a chat, and even somewhere for you to camp awhile if you wish. All my guests are welcome to stay as long as they like, so bugger off home and tell all our mates where I am. I expect to see all of them here soon.
The Place Where We Live.
WHAT I LIKE
I LIKE EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE AUSTRALIAN LANDSCAPE. THE WILDFOWERS OF WESTERN AUSTRALIA ARE SPECTACULAR AND I HAVE SOME FOR YOU HERE. I HAVE TWO MORE ALBUMS UPSTAIRS IN THE SPARE ROOM IF YOU ARE INTERESTED: Take the elevator by pressing the'VIEW ALL IMAGES' beneath. (I HOPE IT IS STILL WORKING! If not you will just have to walk.)
WHAT I DON'T LIKE
TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE FEMALE MIND.
I have been working hard on this problem (for the benefit of all mankind), and have recently been able to achieve an outcome to my 'brain mapping plan'. Although the map reproduced below represents only a fraction of the female mind, (approximately 10%), it does give an inkling to the scale of the problem that we have here. If I am ever to get a better understanding of how it all works, (unlikely!) I will certainly publish the result for all to see. In lieu of the negative publicityalways generated about me, some positive publicity would be very welcome.
HOBBIES
PLEASE
NOTE! NO TAPPING THE GLASS FRONT. IT DISTURBS MY PETS AND I'M ALWAYS
WASHING YOUR DIRTY BLOODY HAND SMEARS OFF THE GLASS.
IN CASE OF FIRE - BREAK GLASS - STAND BACK - THEN RUN LIKE HELL!
This beauty is my quarter horse
'Shorty'
He loves to have visitors and is very friendly.
This is our Farrowing (Breeding) Pen.
The mother of 'Fangs'
'Fangs' The idiot pig!
It is generally thought that this pig was 'rolled on' and nearly suffocated by it's mother soon after birth.
It is very clearly mentally impaired.
'Snake Place?'
It is thought that the snake hides here.
These two trouble-makers are named
'Flasher' and 'Dasher'
(we don't know why)
Red Devil Breakdown Service.
The 'Two wheel wobbler'
I use this for visiting others living on 'The Hill' quite a bit.
