My friend noticed I'd deactivated my Facebook. I have about 20 people on it, but no one who really cares. She wanted to know if she'd done something to hurt me. She thought I was down because of my medication. So I told her why I had backed off from her. She said I took her having to deal with her own issues personally and that I got insulted. I said no, I got insulted when instead of ignoring me until she was ready she told me to keep quiet. At the end she asked if our friendship was starting to heal and said she felt good about our talk. I just said yeah. I didn't tell her the truth, that our friendship isn't ever going to heal. I wasn't just insulted or feeling abandoned. I was deeply deeply hurt. I now know I can never count on her again. It's not like I have a ton of other people to talk to. I have no one else. Everyone else I know has their own lives that are fine and they don't want to hear it, or they're too young to have a clue, or they're telling me forcefully I should say this or do that. My friend was never like that. She got me like no one else ever has. I can't just keep hoping I'm not going to get gut punched again every time I need to vent.
So my venting will happen here. I'm going to start titling my posts as Whine and the date. Then anyone who doesn't want to read it can scroll past.
