I have been gone for a week. If you don't know why you need to read The Story Lady and Oscar.  I had been home for about ten minutes. The ambulance that brought me home had just pulled away.

I am being loved by both my dogs. I hear Grammy squealing from the cat tree on the dryer. I walked out there and she is jumping up and down. I thought it was because I was finally home.

Bang, bang, someone is at the front door. A man I had never seen before stood there with a shoebox in his hand. I open the front door, he opens the box and there is Oscar tied up with a nylon rope.

I gasp and snatched the box from the man. I showed him inside so I could close the door. “Well, at least you brought the rope I am going to need to hang you.” I instantly started to untie Oscar.

“Your pet rodent here got into my house through a window in my back room. I did not know he was in the house. I closed the window. I have a cat. This rodent used my cat’s kitty box. I saw him do it. I got my broom and tried to kill him but he was too quick. He kept chatting and throwing up his hands at me.” I worked on Oscar while listening to the nasty little man. Trying to kill him with a broom. OMG!

I soothed Oscar and stroked him. I went into the kitchen and got him some peanuts. Poor Oscar. No one had ever been mean to him. He kept hugging my fingers and giving me kisses. I took him into Grammy and laid him on a soft pillow outside the treehouse. I could tell he was in shock. I wrapped Oscar in a warm baby blanket. Grammy instantly took over caring for him. I turned my attention to the nasty little man. I examined the rope he had used to tie up Oscar. It was too lightweight. “I need a bigger rope. You, my dear sir, are in trouble.”

“Why?” He demands in a deep gruff voice. He had the bluest eyes I had ever seen. A white trim beard and half glasses. I thought to myself, he is fat and very angry; but I am a very angry, old lady; I bet I win this one.  “I knew that rodent lived here because when I came over to complain the other day he was here. He jumped up on my knee when I was talking to a fella that was here. I threw him into this room from the living room there.” The man had followed me into the kitchen and was standing in the dining area. He had apparently come by to complain about something and met the police chief. “I told the guy that was here to get the dogs to stop barking and raising cane when I walk my cat.”

I motioned for him to go to the sitting room. He did and I followed. I had not said a word. I was trying to control my thoughts. After all, he did bring Oscar home. He did not kill him with the broom. “At least you have cleared up one thing for me. I know now if you had gun powder for brains you could not blow your nose. I also can tell from your accent that you are not from here. I assume you have recently moved here. Right?”

“Yes, I moved here from New York. I am a retired New York policeman.” He took a deep breath waiting and braced himself for my reply. “I don’t appreciate you saying I am stupid either.”

“You walk a cat? Is it incapable of walking?”

“No, in New York I lived in an apartment.”

“Well, you are correct in wanting to keep your cat inside to protect it. But, you do not walk it down the street in front of a couple of dogs without expecting some feedback. That, sir, is idiotic.  To go to the trouble to complain to the dog owner is dumber than idiotic.  My opinion, of course.”  He wrinkled his nose and his ears were turning red.  Repeating what someone says back to them, to gives them a chance to hear what they sound like.  He realized he was not convincing me he had a brain in his head. “You want me to tell my dogs not to bark at the cat who can’t walk or the cat with the idiot for an owner?  Just askin’.”

“When you came here the other day did you start complaining the minute my house sitter opened the door? Yes. Did you introduce yourself? No. If you had you would have realized you were talking to the chief of police for our tiny little town. He has been house sitting for me while I was in the hospital.” I had to laugh because when I said hospital he adjusted his mask. As if all of a sudden… he should be on guard. I still had mine on so there was no problem.

“I suspect you would complain if someone hung you with a new rope.” He looked at me. I hand my hands on my hips and I was looking straight at him. “Better still, I ‘ll just call the chief and borrow his gun and get it over with.” His eyes got bigger. “You’re in Texas now we shoot snakes here. He is also very fond of Oscar. You knew Oscar was a pet and yet you still tried to kill him with a broom?  You have a cat, you must have a cat carrier, or does it only go by a leash?  You could have brought him back home in a cat carrier.  Why tied up?  Why the shoebox?  Why the cruelty?”

“How’d I know it was the same squirrel?” He held up his hands and shrugged his shoulders as if to ask the question more pointedly.

“Sir, not all our squirrels come indoors to use kitty boxes. Dah!!” He shrugged as if that sounded reasonable.  He realized he was losing ground with our debate.  “If I had found your cat, I would not have tied it up and put it into a shoebox to return it.”  I looked at him with no expression on my face.  I stared at him until he had to look away.  I knew I had won when he looked away.  The whole idea of what he had done to Oscar really made me angry.  I had to stop the destructive thinking and start putting things back together now.

“I do appreciate you bringing Oscar home. I also appreciate you not killing him because he is a rodent. He was raised by a cat. He does not know any better than to use a kitty box when he gets trapped inside a house. You could be grateful he did. You really do not want to clean up squirrel poop. You have no idea how lucky you are. My heart goes out to you sir. I have watched the news and know you have gone through some very bad things lately. However, you are in Texas now. I will forgive you. If you can forgive Oscar.” I sat there and watched this little man play with his beard. Sweet Pea came in and slowly approached him.

He recoiled from Sweet Pea’s approach. “She will not hurt you. Please just stay still and let her know you are not here to hurt anyone.” He held out his hand. Sweet Pea started licking his hand. “I must apologize, sir, she does have a problem with her licker.” He chuckled. I knew then I had found his funny bone. He had one after all. “You mentioned you encountered Oscar before you started to eat your lunch. I bet you are hungrier than a woodpecker in a steel mill.” He chuckled again. “Be careful, I have lots more.” I served up two plates of Christmas cookies. He snatched two before settling back in the chair.

“My name is George. I am from New York. I have a cat.” Suddenly, George stopped talking. He watched in silence as Oscar and Grammy scampered into the room. George watched as Sweet Pea lowered her head, they both ran up her snout, onto her head, and down to the middle of her back. Sweet Pea slowly walked over to George. Oscar chatted and waved his hands at him. Grammy took two peanuts out of her jaws and offered them to him.

“I would take them. You do not have to eat them, but just say thank you.”

“Thank you,” George said. Oscar hopped onto his arm and scampered over to his knee. Bella came racing into the room and kissed everyone she passed by and gave George a quick lick and nuzzle right in the eye.

“Sorry, I call them the welcoming committee.” I served coffee. We chatted. I told him he was an official Damned Yankee. The difference is simple. Yankees go back home. Damned Yankees stay. “You are welcome. You have arrived at the town’s good neighbor boot camp. I can teach you to be a good neighbor. I promise.”

"Jane, we are neighbors.  I just moved in down the street.  I am new to the neighborhood and new to the South and new to Texas.  I think with you can help, I can make the necessary adjustments."

"Yes, George, I will help you."  He offered me his hand to shake it.  I shook his hand and said, "consider this good neighbor boot camp."

"You are charming."

"I know, charming has endured, sorry about the rest of me."  We both laughed.  "I am not the smartest crayon in the box, George,  but I promise a colorful horizon."

George just left. I saw him laughing all the way across the street. He really did not know how lucky he was. Squirrel poop is horrible to get out of anything.  I snuggled with Oscar and gave him a special hug. Kindness always works. I really wanted to say a few more insults but, heck he is from New York. He does not know any better. He will learn. I will teach him how to be a good neighbor. That also freed up my afternoon. I no longer have to spend all that time hanging a damned Yankee.

The last thing that George said was that he just realized his idea of retirement had just taken on a whole new meaning.  The poor man did not know he was surrounded by widows.  The town gossip is one of them.  Something tells me my retirement just got more complicated.

Tags: Seniors Pets

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I live in a very small community in East Texas. Through my volunteer efforts this last year I gained somewhat of a reputation. I offered to babysit for those who needed it. It all started with three children who had down-syndrome. The chief of police, a friend of mine, volunteered me for several assignments involving children including that of a three-day substitute teacher for pre-schoolers. After that, I became known as The Story Lady.

Several times I was called upon to watch children in my home. I have a pet squirrel named Oscar who was raised by a cat named Ashley, which is not that important to this story. Yes, he uses a kitty box. He also uses the doggy door and rides on the back of my 150-pound greyhound, Sweet Pea. Since Ashley passed away Oscar has learned to be a squirrel but prefers to live inside the house in a cat tree on the dryer in the laundry room. This room has three doors. One to the kitchen, one to the master bedroom, and one to the fenced backyard. This is important because it means he can pretty much go anywhere he wants.

I have recently been hospitalized. I am in good health but I am just in for some adjustments. I will be home soon. Today, I was taken back with joy at the outpouring of love from my little community. When the lockdowns started coming in so hard I had started storytime for the kids in the neighborhood. I have a half-circle shaped front porch. All the kids would show up with blankets and proper clothing. They brought their own folding chairs. I would be on my porch and they would be scattered across my front lawn. Then I would start telling a story. I would borrow storylines from The Lone Ranger, Lassie, and even make up some myself. I would always talk for about an hour then I would engage the kids in a story they helped create.

I would start the story and then each kid would get to add to it. It was hilarious some of the places their imaginations would take us. The best part was when Oscar would show up out of the blue. He would scamper out the doggy door, ride Sweet Pea to the fence line, and then hop off and scamper up a big pecan tree. He would go up the pecan tree and out one particular branch that hung just over the top of my porch. He jumped down and then I lowered my hand and he would scamper up to my shoulder. The kids became infatuated with him. They watched me feed him peanuts. He really loved peanuts. He would grab one and then sit on my head and twitch his tail and eat the peanut. Then he would stuff a couple in his cheeks and scamper away by way of the tree back to the fence, Sweet Pea's back, and back into the house. This has gone on now for several weeks. Monday through Friday we had storytime. It always lasted two hours. The first hour was my story. The last hour was theirs. This is time their parents had time to do things without having to take the kids. My audience had grown to about sixty kids.

I loved watching their imaginations come alive. Little boys pulling on little girls pigtails as if no one had ever thought of it before. The day I brought out brooms with strings tied to them and showed them how to ride imaginary horses. I loved doing it. I have been in the hospital for over a week now. Guess what... no storytime.

What have the kids been up to? The local grocery store is sold out of peanuts. The kids are coming by the house and poking peanuts through the fence. The chief is taking care of the dogs. Several of the kids tried to keep up the storytime but it just was not the same without, The Story Lady.

Today, I was moved to a special room. The room was really two rooms divided by glass. I was on one side. Three or four at a time ...the families and kids came by to thank me. The last one made me cry. She had smuggled Oscar into the hospital. Yikes!! No one knew it. They thought she had the "Get Well Soon" scroll all had signed for me. Oscar was so excited to see me he burst out the minute she opened the cage door. She barely opened it and out he came. The nurses yelled, the doctors yelled, and all ran out of the room to get something to catch him with. The kids all laughed. I laughed. Oscar was wearing a mask, sitting on top of my head, waiting for them. The sweet kid who had smuggled him input down the cage and Oscar gave my finger a hug and went inside. They promised to take extra good care of him until I got back home.

I can hardly wait. I will be home this weekend. Who would have thought my retirement would have become such a squirrely adventure.

Tags: Children Pets Seniors

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"Shuu Shuu, Baby, I want to hear what they are saying."

"One is all I will allow.  It is just too dangerous for both.  While one is out the other will be locked in the closet."  My new grandmother had her hands on her hips.  She did that when she was laying down THE LAW.  Honey, gave her a hug and a nod of her head.

"What are you going to do about...?"

"Jane, I got that covered.  I am going to make a cake from scratch and she will be so distracted to realize what is happening.  I know this will work.  She is just too fast for me to keep up with both of them at the same time.  One out and one in, or... they go back and we just forget the whole thing."

"Okay, Momma, I have to go put my face on.  Good luck.  Call me if you need me.  Alex will be home in time to help take them back if you think it is best.  I know it is Sunday but he can make a run if we need him to."

I could not believe it.  Baby and I had been with them for a while.  Now, they want to send us back.  I felt my heartbreaking.  I hugged my baby and cried as quietly as I could.  I had to think.  She wanted to put one of us in a closet while the other one was out.  She did not understand.  "I am your mommy, I have to protect you."  I have to move slower, she made that clear.  But if they catch me, HE, will take me back.  Oh My.  The closet.  My tummy wants to put stuff up my throat.  We cannot do another closet.  I had to find the closet with the door in it that goes under the house.  I know how to disappear under the house.  I thought having to do this was all over now.

I remember.  The day our big brother, big sister, and little brother met us in the hall at the orphanage.  We hugged each other.  They had said we had to make the hugs last forever.  I have no idea what that is but we all hugged very tight.  Then I watched as the two boys went to one door, my big sister to another.  We all opened the doors in front of us at the same time.   I guess forever is a long time cause we have not seen them since.  How will we survive under the house again without a big brother and a big sister?  They always checked the house to make sure Da was not home.  When he hurt us it hurt for a long time.  Big brother could steal food and get back down the hole quick.  Big sister is the one who usually got caught.  She would get thrown in the closet with her eyes shut.  It took all of us to bring her body down under the house.  We took care of her till she came alive again.  No, we cannot do under the house again without our big brother.  I know we need to hide and hide well.

Wait a minute.  She said something about a cake made of scraps.  I have been helping her cut up all those pieces of cloth into squares so she could sew them back together again.  Now, she is going to make a cake from scraps.  I guess me running in the house and climbing that big tree is what did it.  "Oh, Baby, they are going to send us back to the orphanage.  Maybe they will only keep one of us.  They will keep you for sure.  I have to hide.  If they can't find me they can't send me back.  I can stay under the house for that long.

"Baby, I am putting you here on Grandmother's bed.  You stay still and wait.  I am sure she will find you.  I found the closet I need.  You keep our secret."  

"Secret, Shoo."

"That's right, Baby, Shoo."

Here I go.  There are bugs down here.  I know all about bugs under the house.  I ate my share while we were under the old place.  I hear someone talking.  I also hear them walking.  I know they have found Baby cause that is the room I just heard the walking noise come and go.  I gotta crawl to where ever the opening is for outside.  Oh, there it is.  It has a little window.  What are they doing?  Everyone is running all over the backyard.  They have baskets full of ribbon and flowers.  They are putting all those eggs I helped Grandmother decorate the last three days.  I guess they have not missed me yet.  Oh, I have to stop crying.  I have mud on my face now.  I can't help it.  It hurts when no one wants you.  I remember the lady at the orphanage.  She called me a trash baby.  My mommy had put me in a trash can when I was born and my big brother found me.  I guess my mommy did not want me either.  What is wrong with me?  I am so sleepy.

Boom, Boom... I know whose footsteps they are.  That is Sweetheart.  Honey and Sweetheart kiss a lot.  I guess everyone is getting ready for church now.  Easter Sunday was special they said.  Yeah, some special, they are going to catch me and either throw me in a closet or send me back to the orphanage.  I know one thing for sure, I am not taking a bite of any cake made of scraps.

I hear yelling.  "Where could she be?  Momma when was the last time you saw her?"

"Jane, it was just before we discussed the skates.  I have them in the closet all wrapped up for her birthday.  But, I am still only going to give her one at a time.  Where could she be?"

"I checked all over the backyard.  Honey, we have everything but the birthday girl.  Even the Easter eggs are hidden.  Her special birthday cake is done, ice cream made.  We don't have a birthday girl.  Momma, are you sure about the skates?  I can take them back and get something else."

"No, Dear, but I am still..."

"I know, one at a time."

"Secret, Shoo."  

"What, Baby?  She turned to Grandmother, "Look, Momma, she is tugging on my dress.  She said secret and then did the shoo with her finger to her lips.  Do you think she knows where our little birthday girl is?"

"Where is she, Baby?"   Come on all you guys maybe she will show us.

I heard the door in the floor of the closet open.  I knew I had to be very quiet. "Has the Easter Bunny been down here?  Where is my special Sweetheart?"

I could not keep my tears back.  I opened the little door to the backyard and crawled out.  I had dirt all over me.  I will just go very slow so maybe they will change their minds.  Maybe they will keep me.  I hope so.  I love them all so much.

"OH, Dear God, Look at you."  Honey was scooping me up and hugging me tightly.  She did not seem to care that she was getting dirt on herself.  "You are my little angel.  We have a surprise for you."

"I know."  I could not help the tears.  I could not stop crying.  Grandmother and Sweetheart came running out the back door.  Grandmother grabbed me.  I did not understand.  She was holding me so tight I could feel her heart beating.   I started to wiggle and tried to get away.  "No closet, I will be good.  Please, I will be good.  Don't send me back."

"What, are you talking about?"  Grandmother had let me go.  She seemed to be hurt because I was afraid of her.  Sweetheart and Honey listened as I repeated, word for word the conversation I had heard.  The expression on their faces told me it was going to be okay.

"Grandmother, please, I don't want a cake made from scraps."  I tried to let her know I did not eat cloth.  I could only hope she understood.  "Why did you hide all the decorated eggs in the backyard?"  I looked up to all of them with dirt on my clothes.  Streaks of dirt from the tears that had rolled down my face.  All of a sudden, up I went into their arms.  Sweetheart was holding me and Honey had her arms around both of us.

"We love you.  We are going to keep you forever.  Today is your birthday and it happens to be Easter Sunday.  So, we are going to have an Easter Egg hunt for your birthday.  We are going to get all cleaned up and go to church.  Then your Sunday school class will come back here for the party."  I got a big hug from all three of them.  I looked down and there was Baby, with her finger on her lips.

"What is a birt-day?  I never had one a-afore."  I had no idea what a birt-day was but it must be important for the Easter Bunny to come.  I was so confused.

"We are celebrating the day you were born."  Honey tried to stop me.  I started wiggling and trying to escape.  I did not want to be put in the trash can.

"No trash can, please.  I don't want to be a trash baby."  I was frantic and frightened.  They had no idea how that day haunted me ever since that lady at the orphanage had labeled me a "trash baby".  I started crying so hard I had to bury my face in Sweetheart's shoulder.

"No, No, you are my special angel.  You are ours forever.  We love you.  I want to be your mommy."  Honey, caught her breath the minute she said that.

"No, I am Mommy.  Baby is my baby.  She knows I am Mommy."  I saw the tears roll down Honey's face.  She knew that my birthday was not the only challenge they were facing.

"That is right.  You are my Special Sweetheart.  I remember."  She took me from Sweetheart and gave me a big hug.  We both wiped our tears and she gave me a kiss.

"Secret, Shoo."

"Right, Baby, you don't keep secrets too good."  I felt a giggle come out.  It must have been contagious because everyone laughed at the same time.

After I got all cleaned up.  I got to put on a new dress for church.  We got all ready to leave and then I heard Honey say, "Let's see if your ruffles are straight."  Baby and I turned our backs to her and bent over so Grandmother could straighten the ruffles on our panties.  I was so happy.  Just think I am going to have a birthday.  I never had one of those before.  Yeah!!  I guess I will try the cake too.  Grandmother reminded me while we were getting the dirt off, she cooks with love.  You can't go wrong when you cook with love.  That is what she said.

She had broken my heart and put it all back together again.  I felt a little like Humpty Dumpty.  Best of all, I felt Loved.  Oh, and before I forget.  I got skates for my birthday.  But Grandmother will only let me have one.  It is very hard to skate with only one.  Baby was sneaky.  She reached in the box and got out both her skates.  She put them on and skated straight into a tree where she tied herself up.  She could not fall but she had both skates on at the same time.

My first birthday, my first Easter.  April 21st, 1957.  What a day!!

I am coming up on my 70th birthday.  It made me look back on the first time I celebrated my day of birth.  My memories for years were haunted because of the troubled waters in which I was born.  To put it in simple words I have been fighting since the day of my birth.

I was chosen out of many, many children and adopted by a loving family.  My real sister was adopted with me.  We got to grow up together and are still close today.  I had to learn how to redefine myself but more importantly, I had to learn to redefine love and what being loved was all about.  I had to learn how to love.  My spirit was, as my grandmother use to say, was the spirit of a rebel.  I always fought for the underdog, those being bullied, those feeling unloved.

Now I fight for all those who are now living in this storm we call retirement.  We are in different boats but in the same storm.  None of us could control our beginnings.  We can control how our stories end.  We can control what we leave behind.  Our legacy is the key.

I hesitated posting this blog here since no one seems to read or comment on them any more.  But the day was special to me so I wanted to share it.

Celebrate the laughter in your life.  Celebrate the love in your life.  All of it.  Not just what you have now, but what you have gathered along the way.  You cannot lose love if you carry it in your heart.  When you share it, it multiplies.

Tags: Aging Retirement Humor

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Winter in Texas is unpredictable, to say the least. We can have an eighty-degree day followed by a forty-degree night. If we don't like that we can just wait a minute and the reverse will occur. We never know.

In my best frugal manner this year; I set my thermostat to sixty. I had decided that rather than having my central heating running all the time this year, I would spend more time, if necessary under an electric throw. I love cold, crisp air... as long as my feet are warm. I think I must have been a dog in my previous life because I sleep best when my nose is cold and my feet are warm. I do have a tendency to stick one foot out from other the covers before morning.

I have had several electric blankets over the years. It seems something happens to them over the summer. They get separated from the electric doo-dad that makes them work. Let's say, I have several ...once electric blankets that the dogs use as dog beds. They are great for that. I thought I was being so smart. I did not have to buy dog beds.

This year the prices of such luxury had gone up. So, I bought an electric throw instead of a full blanket. I spent some chilly nights before it finally arrived.

I turned down the thermostat. Got my pillows ready and slithered into bed pulling my new luxury over me. I was able to cover my shoulders and my feet. Perfect!! My night long sleep turned into a contest for "Who is the biggest blanket hog in the house?" I fell asleep all right. I did not think about it when I felt my fur people starting to gather around the edges of the blanket. Yes, in my bed. They live here too. Sweet Pea surprised me because she has a rather thick fur coat. Her one hundred and fifty-pound body snuggled up to my back. Fine... I did not know that is where the race started. Bella must weigh forty pounds snuggled up to my feet. Oscar and Grammy soon joined the party.

Thank goodness the three little snapping turtles cannot jump in the bed. My father's voice rang in my head for a second.  "You bring home the strangest critters."  I'm afraid their solution might send everyone running. I once had a pet skunk that had the same effect on everyone but for an entirely different reason. Believe it or not, I found the perfect home for him too. I found a lady who had her sense of smell damaged for some reason. She lived in a little cabin in the woods... you guessed it... full of skunks. She took care of them. She was very pleasant to talk to but I must confess... I talked to her from the front yard when I brought her new adoptee to her. My sense of smell told me from there that I did not need to go inside. She was an answer to a prayer and I was just happy to find a place for my unwanted friend. Now, back to my story.

"Moo, moo, moo." Bella was now scooting up a bit and Sweet Pea with her eyes still closed scooted her fanny over just a bit too. You will have to pardon Bella she was raised by cows.  Oscar is a squirrel that has now become a member of the house.  Grammy is his mate.  That is when I realized that Oscar and Grammy had also scooted over right next to me. I almost rolled on top of them. I could not move. I was blocked in on all sides. "Moo, moo." Bella and Oscar were now in an argument over who was going to kick me out.

Guess what, I feel very good right now.  I got up and pointed to the laundry room.  Oscar waved his arms and pointed to the laundry room.  I went out there... he was right it was cold out there.  I came back in and told Oscar (yes, I was talking to a squirrel) I would put a blanket out there.  He scampered to the end of the bed and waved at me, "Chattttttttttttt"  Translation, let me know when you get back.

Everyone forgot I own the place.....LOL, I really think, they think they were letting me live here just to feed them and refill the water. Shush... I won't tell if you don't. I think there is a little love involved. Just not enough to share a tiny little throw. We need a BIGGER BLANKET.  Kick them out of bed?  OMG, where would they sleep?   It is apparent they don't know either.

I turned up the thermostat, ordered a bigger blanket, and it will be here sometime today. Yeah!! When it gets here the thermostat will come back down and we will have this pajama party all over again.  

Tags: Pets

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Tags: Children Thanksgiving Humor

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It is the season for giving gifts. "Okay, Bella, I am busy now. Come back later and we will play."

"Moo, Moo, Bah, Bah, Moo oooo." Bella is wagging her tail and smiling, yes I said, smiling back at me. Back to my story.

I ordered several things online. This is not unusual, however, the box contained boxes inside. "Bella, please."

"Moo, Moo, Bah, Bah, Moo oooo." Bella is wagging her tail, sniffing the box, and smiling back at me.

The box was from a pet supply company. I have recently acquired 3 baby tortoises. I ordered some supplies for them, for my two squirrels, and yes, for two dogs; Sweet Pea, (the old maid), and Bella are relatively new arrival. Bella used to belong to a farm. She was raised by cows. Her mother was a farm dog as well. She died before her puppies were weaned. She then nursed a goat and was left to take care of herself with two newborn calves. She moos and does the goat sound of bah, bah. When she wants to please you she shows only her front teeth and wags her tail. She is quite the character. Her story is not the subject of this story. Her story is important to understand what she is saying during the telling of this story.

The box was large but I managed to get it inside the house without much difficulty. Bella was busy sniffing. I did not know she could read as well as speak 'cow'. I pulled out all the smaller boxes. She zeroed in only on the ones for dogs. She ignored the 'squirrel' boxes and the 'tortoise' boxes. The smell was not the issue because the contents as well as the box were also enclosed in outside boxes labeled 'for dogs'. No one can make me believe she could not read that. I can't believe I just made that statement. I decided to test my theory. I put some of the dog biscuits inside a box marked 'squirrel food'. Bella wanted nothing to do with it. She wanted the box marked 'for dogs'. The test made me remember another time when the kind of box was so important.

My daddy was going to give my mother a very special broach for mother's day. He combined all of our birthstones into one bug.  I had helped him design it. It contained several carnelian stones, sardonyx, and several diamonds. The design was that of a butterfly. The butterfly was my mother's favorite bug.  We had tried the bumblebee, dragonfly, but settled on the butterfly.  Daddy had spent an entire year collecting the stones to make it right.  The emerald cut diamonds created the outside line of the wings. Oval and round diamonds made up the body. The wings were created with the dark red sardonyx in the top wings and the burnt orange carnelian stones marked the lower wings. It was truly a beautiful piece. The body of the butterfly was a 22-carat oval cut diamond surrounded by smaller round stones for the upper body and a smaller 12-carat oval made up the lower body. The broach I believe daddy appraised it at a million dollars. You always ensure for replacement value according to Daddy. 

We were not that wealthy but my father was a gemologist and sometimes his services were paid for with gems. He bartered gems as little boys do with frogs or bottle caps. He never had much cash on him, but he could always pull a sparkle out of his pocket.

Daddy, my sister, and I were all having breakfast together one morning. Daddy said mommy's present was finished and we needed to get it wrapped. Grandmother had promised to get Mommy out of the house so we could do that. She and Mommy were gone for a while.

We were very excited. Daddy had finished eating. He pulled the broach out of his pocket. It was beautiful. It was about two inches in diameter. So much sparkle. My sister and I just squealed looking at it. Daddy had left to look through the closet for a box to put it in before wrapping it. I was reading the cereal box. It said, 'prize inside' on the outside of the box. Oh, how much fun would that be? My sister and I were grinning and shaking our heads up and down when Daddy came back into the room. I told him about the brilliant idea we had. We wanted to put the ring inside the cereal box and wrap it. I showed him the writing on the box, 'prize inside.' He clapped his hands. Now you know he is in trouble for taking the advice of a six-year-old and an eight-year-old. Poor Daddy. 

We wrapped the broach in the cereal box. My sister did our bit first by eating an entire box of cereal. No one ever thought about putting it into something else. Anyway, Daddy did the paper while my sister and I created bows. Lots of bows and ribbon. I think there was much more ribbon than there should have been. My mother came home from shopping to a dinner cooked by Daddy (grilled outside) and her two daughters (baked potatoes and salad). I think Daddy did desert too, Jello. We really rushed through dinner. We wanted to get to the giving part. They had decided they would do her mother's day gift after dinner.

The time had come. The dinner table had been cleared. Grandmother wanted to start the dishes soaking so was busy in the kitchen. We could not stand it any longer. We begged for Mommy to open her present. She looked at the mountain of bows and ribbon and laughed. She tried to get into the box but could not. There was so much ribbon she would cut one and find another. She kept cutting and pulling. It was funny at first then not so funny. By the time she got to the cereal box, she was not very happy. We had yelled happy mother's day when she got to the box. She looked at this, what seemed to be a box of Post Toasties, and then looked back at us. We were clapping our hands and laughing. She looked at Daddy. He pointed to the writing on the box, 'the prize inside'. She ripped open the box, which was full of shredded paper. She got up, went to the back door, pulled out a wad of the shredded paper inside, and threw the contents of the entire box into the backyard. She started crying, walked past all of us, and went to their bedroom, and slammed the door shut.

My sister and I were heartbroken. We had no idea what went wrong. When grandmother came into the room she tried to cheer Daddy up. She said, "At least she didn't throw it down the garbage disposal." Daddy just looked at her as if she was crazy. I thought it was funny. It had started to rain. The rain got harder. We knew we were going to have to try and find that sparkling bug somewhere outside in the backyard. If the wind had not been blowing so hard when she threw the contents out, it would have been easier.

Daddy knew to let Mommy have her cry. He also knew, as did the rest of us that something special was still in the future. We had to find that bug first. We stormed for three days. Mother and Daddy made up when Daddy had decided how to fix part of the problem. He had put together all the design papers he and the drawings made and put them inside Mother's, "Mother's Day" card. She was red-eyed, no makeup, and in her bathrobe when her mother pulled her to the kitchen table and ordered her to sit down. We gave her the card. When she saw all the drawings of the beautiful bug we had designed her mouth fell open. Then she screamed as her eyes got bigger. "Oh, my. What have I done? I threw it out in the wind and now it is storming."

Daddy shrugged his shoulders. "It is insured, for a million."  He looked at her.  "That is the retail or replacement value of the stones.  It will take a while for me to find enough to make another one."

Mother screamed again. "A million?"

"I bet we got the only backyard with a million-dollar bug in it."  No one seemed to appreciate my humor.  They all looked at me, but no one laughed.

The storm was raging. There was no way we could go out and look for a bug. Not even a million-dollar bug. Just think. If Daddy had put the gift into a jewelry box we would all be admiring it on Mommy's shoulder. The butterfly scarf grandmother had given her would be wrapped around her shoulders and she would be wearing that beautiful bug.

We did finally find the 'bug'. It was caught on a tiny nail grandmother used to hang the clothespin bag. We looked for a week every day. We each took a different section of the yard. Then it was laundry day. That was the best day of the whole year as far as we were concerned. Daddy was worried that his claim on the insurance might not be paid. "Throwing it away in the backyard" is not much of an excuse for losing something.

It is fun to wrap gifts in boxes marked for something else. Make sure the box on the outside is worth less than the gift inside. Grandmother made the mistake of wrapping a coffee mug in a box labeled a camera. The mug was a disappointment. A diamond broach marked Post Toasties is also not recommended. Approach this season of gift-giving with love and joy. Remember, no matter what the box is labeled, no matter what is inside the box, love is the reason for the gift.

"Moo, Moo, Bah, Bah, Moo oooo." Bella is wagging her tail, sniffing the box, and smiling back at me. She has brought me the food for the squirrels, it seems they are up now. Do you think it is luck or do you think she can read?

Tags: Gift Giving

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Have you ever had a day where the same type of thing kept happening over and over all day long? I was brought up to believe that was a bone-fided thing that happens when God is trying to bring you a blessing but keeps getting sidetracked.

Sunday, was a Cattywampus Day for me. I am normally a very calm individual. I pray. I go to church. I am good to others. I do not gallivant around. I do not try to bamboozle anyone. I don't lollygag unless someone is looking. I want to make sure they know I am earning my social security. I rarely make a big hullabaloo over anything. Egads, I am no numb-skull. By noon I was ready to scream... Oh, that is right... I did scream.

It really started Friday night. My tummy felt nauseous. I took the pink stuff and that threw everything into motion. I could not keep anything down. I tossed my cookies all night. I did not have any 7UP and saltines (like they gave me once in the hospital) or anything else to stop the rigmarole my tummy was going through. Things finally calmed down when I was empty, and I do mean empty. I had decided I just needed to rest. I was too tired to decide what was wrong or what to worry about. Not much changed until Sunday morning when my Cattywampus day started.

I woke up feeling wonderful. I felt weak but better. I got up, made my bed, and strolled through the laundry room, checked on Oscar and Grammy, (my two pet squirrels), and went out the back door. I made a note that Oscar was missing but felt sure I would spot him playing in the trees. I looked and looked. No Oscar.

I watched as Bella, one of my dogs, played willy-nilly among the leaves. A leaf fell from one of the trees. She barked at it. I clapped my hands. She barked some more. I looked around for Sweet Pea and could not find her. I called and called. No Sweet Pea. I glanced at the big tree whose trunk was on the property behind mine. It had fallen just enough to bend the top of my fence down about eighteen inches. Sweet Pea must have gotten out. She is very old. I tried to put a call into the police chief but his message thing said his messages were full and for me to call back. Now, my worry was beginning to mount. No Sweet Pea and No Oscar. I had flashbacks of when the other big trees tore up a major part of the back fence and Precious got out. She was a hundred and twenty-five-pound pit bulldog. Losing her broke my heart. I started crying thinking about Sweet Pea being out, maybe lost. Oscar many times road on her back. I wondered if they were together. The thought of losing them was crushing. It was like I was losing things. Those I loved were being taken away. I went back into the house and laid on the bed. I don't remember falling asleep but I guess I did.

When I woke up the Cattywampus had taken a turn into one "Oh MY God" after another.

I woke up with leaves all over the bed and covering me. I could tell from Bella's (who by the way was another gift from the chief) wagging tail. I think she used must have been a cow dog. She really does moo. She does long, slow moos and stretches her neck out when she does it. Just like a cow does. She is very comical. She had remembered me clapping because she barked at the falling leaf. Sweet Pea and Oscar were back but would not let me roll over to sit up. I finally had to move the covers, thus moving them as well, to sit upright. I looked down. It seems I had laid a couple of eggs while I was asleep as well. The pictures of the snake eggs found earlier this year came to mind but these were not snake eggs. I had no idea at first what they were. I knew I had seen them before. It was not a bird. It suddenly dawned on me what I had. Two tortoise eggs. They must have been laid under the house. I bet that is where Sweet Pea and Oscar had been when I called them. Now, I had to get busy. I found a shipping box and partially filled it with topsoil. I placed the eggs about halfway down and covered them with the soil. I then covered that with dried leaves. I put the whole thing on the very top shelf of my closet. I put a small heating bulb in my desk lamp to keep the nest warm. I did all this with an audience. Oscar kept throwing his arms up as if to say, "Well, is that all we get?" Sweet Pea, was pouting because she did not get to kiss the eggs. Bella was mooing about it. She never even got a good look.

I was feeling very tired at this point. I was still not hungry but at least nausea had stopped. I decided I would give my system a chance to calm down before testing it. I laid down for another nap. I think naps are one of the best things about retirement. You can take one any time you want. Anyway, I laid back down and fell asleep. I don't know how long I was down but I suddenly remembered the fence. I jerked myself awake. I rushed to the back yard and sure enough, now all my fur babies were gone. I called and called. I walked and walked around the block and could not find them. I was frantic. I was crying. I shouted at the sky. "NO, NO, This is not right."

I suddenly looked up. It was the chief. He had not gotten any messages. He came to tell me that Sweet Pea had interrupted a preliminary meeting of the city council. "We had seen the damage the tree had done to your fence. It took about fifteen minutes to take up a collection. One of the young guys doing community service needs a project. I have given him your fence to fix. He owns a fence company. The city will pick up the tab for materials. I don't think he will try to drink and drive again. He is a good kid, he has gotten over his 21st birthday celebration now.  The young man was going to balk at first until he saw Sweet Pea standing there barking at me with two squirrels on her back. Bella was sitting right beside her. I will help you get them inside while the kid fixes your fence. He will trim that tree too." I was so full of gratitude, again, I started to cry. I felt so overwhelmed.

The rest of the afternoon had been kind of quiet. The fence got fixed, the tree got trimmed. All my babies were home safe. When the chief came by to check on his community service guy all was complete. Suddenly, Oscar started squealing. I could not find him. The chief followed the sound. He was hanging on the backside at the top of the closet door. The chief is very tall. He walked over and pointed to his shoulder. Oscar hopped down. Then just as quickly jumped to the shelf in the closet. Yes, yes. We had two baby tortoises coming out of their shells. The chief just laughed. "Jane, your zoo is growing. I can't do a thing about it. You don't have more than three dogs. You don't have a caged raccoon or rattlesnake. I know about Oscar. There is nothing you can do but love them. There is nothing I can do but bring you the mustard greens you need to get these little fellas through the winter."

Oscar watched me. I very gently touched the back of their shells. They closed their eyes. I told the chief that if he could go on and get the mustard greens and some fresh veggies for me then I would be fine. He ran to the store for me and brought everything back. He said he remembered how last spring I had helped the community with food when they had all the newcomers and the stories to calm the frightened children. The kids still talk about the story lady.  I did not think about it much at the time. I just wanted to help.  I felt very appreciated.

After everyone was gone I gently fed my two new babies. Oscar gently stroked their backs. Bella did her moo, moo, moo. Grammy just watched in fascination. Sweet Pea gave one kiss that sent them flying out of the box and onto the floor. Grammy and Oscar scampered over and gently picked them up. I lowered the box, they put them back in. Sweet Pea lowered her head in shame. The two tortoises are back in the box on the top shelf, the closet door is closed, I am back in bed. I just woke up from a short nap. The bed is covered in leaves. I started laughing... I had laid another egg.

It does not make any difference what blessing you have coming your way. Somehow, you will get it, even if it takes a Cattywumpus Day to do it. I had started my day thinking the worst. I returned to that feeling several times during the day. I would not have had time for such a day if I were not retired. I live alone. I was feeling somewhat vulnerable because I had been sick. I prayed for my stomach to settle down...

When I got quiet. When I put my finger on my lips, closed my eyes, and listened I knew what to do. I remembered; not to pray for something specific but to pray to put me in alignment with his plan. Then it could unfold. I had learned long ago when I was going through the depression that comes with retirement that praying for something specific and then telling God how to go about it; would not get the desired response. All prayers are answered. Sometimes the answer is, "No.". When we relax and allow ourselves to be put in alignment the plan unfolds on time, with all that is needed to see it through, and in the exact time needed.

When you find yourself in the middle of a cattywampus day. Stop. Be quiet. And just listen. Don't forget to breathe. Screaming is not necessary but remembering the thank you afterward is important.

Tags: Humor Blessings

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Common sense would tell you that if you go to the hospital to set a broken leg that the leg would be set and you would then be sent home. Right? Nah, not these days. You gotta wear a mask first. Then you gotta know who the president is, the day of the week, your birthday, the state you are in, and how many fingers someone is holding up. After arriving at the hospital I volunteered the information that I had broken my leg. The medical nurse thinks she is being cleaver. "Now, you don't have an x-ray machine at home. Let's see what the doctor says."

"No, but I heard it snap when the chair fell on it." She looked at me as if I had just taken my teeth out and stuck my tongue out at her... No. Sorry, I did that in my head. She glances back at me as I take both hands and lift my leg up on the exam table where I am sitting. Leaving it dangling was beginning to be very painful. The leg had swollen to about 3 times it normal size. She jumps back and makes a profound remark.

"That looks bad. Do you know who the president is? What day of the week do you think it is? Let's get your blood pressure and get some blood."

"For a broken leg?"

"We have to test everyone, especially older people. You know for the virus."

"I understand. What has that got to do with me answering your other questions?"

"Just checking for any mental limitations. After all, you do have a pet squirrel. You admitted that. He attacked the emergency people."

"He did not. Oscar just wanted to be with me. He never attacked anyone. He may chat at them but never attack."

"Don't get upset... You know squirrels have rabies and carry other diseases. It can be dangerous having a rodent in the house."

"If you came to see me dear, you would be the only rodent in the house." She suddenly realized what I had said. Needless to say, my blood pressure went up. They tested my blood... I am fine. No virus. No infections. Finally the doctor arrives. I tell him I have a broken leg. He shakes his head in agreement.

"Nurse, please have Jane's leg x-rayed and let's get a picture of her right hip as well. Jane you did say you fell hard on your right side?"

"Yes, it still hurts. I have hip implants."

"I just want to examine the bones around the joint. I will be back when you come back from x-ray." He bows to me and gived me a very sweet smile. I decided I like my doctor. He was very calming.

I get through x-ray, diagnosis... broken leg and a hairline fracture in the bone around my hip implant. I get a cast on my leg and a brace on my back. My blood pressure is off the scale. They decided to keep me. I get a bed. I go to get the remote control and the monster nurse comes in and takes it out of my hand. "Your blood pressure is up, you need to sit quite and rest. You do not need to watch TV."

"Could you help me get into the bathroom. This leg is heavy. This brace makes it hard for me to maneuver. "You need to do it yourself. What happens if I am not here?"

"I push the button and get help."

"No, you need to do it yourself." She was not going to help me go to the bathroom. I can't believe she was so mean. I had decided I had been a brat longer than she had. I have stated before. I look like a nice old lady... but I am not. She actually left. In my head I said, "Good."

I struggled but went to the bathroom. On my way back to the bed, I pulled my self over to where the remote was. I pulled myself back over to the side of the bed. Then I waited. I pushed the button and asked if they could tell me when my doctor was going to be back. I was assured he would be there in about ten minutes. I waited for five minutes. Then I slowly lowered myself to the floor, stretch out the leg with the cast on it, and hit my head just enough on the floor to make it red and then pinched the skin real hard, closed my eyes and waited.

The doctor enters my room. "Oh, Jane, what happened? Why are you are the floor? He starts trying to lift me up. I started crying (it was easy because the pain was real). "Let's get you back in bed. Here let me get the remote for you. You poor lady. I am so sorry. Are you hurting?"

"I tried to get the nurse to help me to the bathroom and she refused. The cast is too heavy for me to maneuver my leg. She took the remote away because the TV would run my blood pressure up. I guess she had my best interest at heart."

"Well, we can take care of that." He calls the nurse in and in front of me tells her to put a catheter in so I don't have to get up and down on a broken leg and hip to go to the bathroom. They also gave me some pain medicine.  "Now, if you want I can put on her chart that it is okay for her to have the remote. It has nothing to do with her blood pressure." He then went into the condition in which he had found me and told them to put some monitors on me because my heart rate had also increased. I don't ever want to come in and find an injured patient laying on the floor.  "She will be with us over night." This is one I did not expect. But could not stop at this point.

She looks at me and I smiled sweetly. I thought to myself, like grandmother said, "If you can't be good at least be good at it."  She turned red in the face. "Yes, doctor, I will make sure she is taken care of."

As she was taking care of me I again in a very sweet voice told her she was all wrong about squirrels. I told her a little about how Oscar had become a pet after Ashley passed. I told her about how he had saved me from a burglar by telling the police where he had me tied up. I told her about some of the fun things he had done. She became a little less hostile about squirrels. I told her about how he helped us rescue the raccoons that had moved into the vacant houses. She had to leave for a while but the monster in her was on the run. I just knew it. She promised to return soon.

I had four meals in this place. They must have a special on green jello. I have even had it for breakfast. Yikes! I keep asking for red jello..my favorite jello. I even filled out the little menu form and said red jello. I got green. Then I sent the nurse to find out if the guy making up the trays was color blind. Then I asked for green jello... I got red. I have learned a lot in almost seven decades. I bet no one else ever figured out he was color blind.

My house sitter brought me my mail. It included a wonderful gift of fudge. I hid it but how delighted I was. It was so good. Four different kinds, two dark chocolate. One with peanuts and another with pecans. It was such an unexpected and enjoyed gifts I have ever had because of the timing. It really cheered me up. Earlier today four nurses came into see me. They wanted to learn more about squirrels. It seems the monster nurse had told her co-workers what I had told her about Oscar.

This is dangerous. I have four girls who had brought their own chairs, sitting there waiting for me to tell them a story. Dod, Oh, Dod. What do I do now?

"Did you ladies know that it was because of a squirrel that Maple syrup was discovered?" I asked the question and they looked at each other. A little voice came over a speaker calling one of the girls. She got on the speaker, "Yes, I am still on my break, Ryan is taking my shift for the rest of the day. Remember, no over time." She sat back down and waited for me to continue.

Yes, Maple syrup was discovered by the wife of a chief who had thrown his tomahawk into a tree before going to bed. She got up the next day to prepare breakfast. She looked up and spotted a squirrel licking up the liquid coming out of the hole made my the tomahawk. She dipped her finger in it. Then she looked around and she saw several squirrels out licking up the liquid coming out of several trees. These Indians lived in long houses that were usually created by cutting down very large trees and hollowing them out. They also made long homes from fallen trees. When she discovered it was sweet they started using it to cure meat and to heat it and put it on many things they ate. Later, the settlers learned about the wonderful magic inside the maple trees.

The girls went into a whole chatter about how much they enjoyed maple syrup. Two hours later the doctor came in to tell me my blood pressure had finally gone down enough for me to go home. Rebecca, also known as monster nurse, gave me a hug. She smiled and said, "Jane you have taught me a great deal today. I will never again discount or patronize another senior citizen."

"Rebecca, I have accomplished my mission. It is time to go home." I had no idea Rebecca had resented her grandmother for being so needy and her mother for 'giving in' to her demands. She assured me that instead of ignoring her grandmother she would now start asking her questions and listening to her stories. A few minutes later one of the nurses came running into the room.

"I looked it up. Jane is right. I mean about the maple syrup. The Indians, the long houses the whole thing. That is so cool."

I got hugs from everyone and extra 'red jello' to take home with me. All in all... an interesting adventure. The young people today many times do not know how to treat the elders. They have not been taught. You have been a brat longer than they have... Be a good one.

Rather than give them a lecture on the subject, which they would tune out... Give them something to think about and wait. Be pleasant but leave them curious about what else you know. Their grand parents will thank you for the change in their grandchildren.

Tags: Grandparents

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You know you are going to have an off day when you go to get your morning coffee, step on a dog toy, stumble into a frig that has been there forever and get your leg and oxygen hose tangled in  leg of a stool in the kitchen.  It took me almost fifteen minutes from getting up from a chair to broken leg in the kitchen.

My problems did not actually start when I broke my leg.  It was when I screamed at the top of my lungs in pain.  I had landed on the floor rather hard.  My leg being tangled with my oxygen hose was sticking into the legs of the stool.  It was when the stool came back down and broke my calf bone.  Within seconds, Oscar, my pet squirrel had arrived and was jumping up and down, waving his hands in the air and chatting.  All I said, well maybe too loudly, "Oscar Please."  He instantly scampered up the fallen stool, onto my broken leg, onto my arm which was there because I was trying to get the stool off my leg, up to my shoulder.  I got turned my face away so I could readjust my nose piece.  Oscar pulled my chin over to him and gave me a kiss.  By that time Bella, my 30 pound mixed bread dog showed up to add her kisses.  She was wagging her tail at both ends and kissing me all over; face, arm, broken leg.  I had heard the snap and knew I was in trouble.  I made one final jerk and got the stool off but not without another scream.

Sweet Pea, my 150 pound gray hound showed up with Grammy, Oscar's wife riding on her shoulder.  Oscar chatted to them both.  Sweet Pea lowered her snout.  Grammy scammpered down to the floor.  She lowered her head and pushed her shoulders up.  Sweet Pea dutifully picked her up by the nap of the neck and carried her off.  Grammy was not good balancing on Sweet Pea and always took her return trips from the baggage or no windows section.  She always closed her eyes until deposited on the little stair case leading up to the cat tree on the back of the dryer in the laundry room.  The squirrel's winter home.

I screamed again.  I looked up and Sweet Pea very quietly brought every dog toy in the house to me and deposited them in my lap.  I yelled at Osar again (it is so annoying to be kissed when you hurt so much).  Then I heard the end of the bed going up and knew what had happened.  Sweet Pea always put her head under the bed when I was at my loudest.  I had tried to get up... no way.  I have very bad knees and a broken leg with two hip implants.  What is a girl to do?  I butt walked into the living room where I had left the cell phone and pushed 911.

Now, I knew I was going to have to prepare things.  I did not have to worry about Sweet Pea she would stay with her head under the bed until she heard either quiet or me call her.  Bella was a different story.  She had never been here in a crisis.  She kept trying to get in my lap.  No matter how many times Oscar waved his hands at her, (from my shoulder), she was going to ride in my lap.

  I was getting all sorts of kisses.  I made my call with Bella in my lap and Oscar on my shoulder.  I then again pushed Bella to the side and started making my way over to the bedroom door.  The idea was to put Oscar and Bella on the other side of that door.  Then when the emergency people got there they could come right in without any danger of Bella getting out or Oscar causing any problems.  A lot of pain later I had Bella chase down the toy that I had tripped on that started this whole thing.  I said she was sweet.. not too smart.  She ran after it.  I felt my shoulders, no Oscar, and closed the door.

That is not the funny part.  They had me loaded.  I asked the attendent to check one more time to make sure the dogs water bowl was full.  They left the doors open on the abulance.  While the guy went in to check the dog's water.  Oscar had gone out the doggy door and up the tree next to where they had parked.  He dropped himself down on the door and scampered inside.  Once again throwing his hands up and chatting at me.  The other attendent tried to catch him but he was too quick.  Once he almost had him and a squeak made the guy soften his grip... Oscar ran.  He was into every cubby hole and all over me.  He checked my mouth piece and everything.  The guy could not do anything but wait till his partner came back.  I have to get settled and then I will tell you about the excitement of getting Oscar out of the ambulance.

I laughed so hard I had tears running down my face.  I tried to tell the attendant to talk soft and his name was Oscar.  I also sent him  back into the house for a few peanuts.  Soft talk and peanuts.... gets him every time.  Oscar had to inspect everything they did.  One very intuitive attendant said, Jane, I promise to come back and see they are all okay.  He knew my worry.  He had been my first responder before with the snake bite.  I call him first responder but I know who the real first responders were.

Time to tell someone who the president is again.... There is something about hospital people.  They don't know who the president is or what day of the week it is.  Poor dears.  I have already had several people come in so I could  back up the attendees story about Oscar.  Everyone got a big giggle out of it.  One nurse shook her head and said I still don't believe it.  I said to her... "There was one time I thought Benjamin Frankin invented kites too.  I learned a long time ago that  the impossible just has not been done yet.   Believe me, it all happened."  She looked at me, I grinned at her, and she gave up... the giggle finally came out.  She was a tough one.  

I have my laptop with me so will let you know about my stay as we go along.  Take care everyone.

Tags: Humor Pets

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