- My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
- My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
- My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!
- My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
- My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
- My mother taught me FORESIGHT. Make sure you wear clean underware, in case you're in an accident."
- My mother taught me IRONY "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
- My mother taught me about science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
- My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST. "Will you look at the that dirt on the back of your neck!"
- My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.
- My mother taught me FAMOUS QUOTES. "You know the rule when we go shopping. Together we stand, divided we get whooped."
- My mother taught me the importance of REPETITION. "How many times do I have to tell you that just because everyone else is doing it; you do not have to.
Tags: Mother Humor
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